You cannot do anything about it....
By laydee
@laydee (12798)
Philippines
January 22, 2011 7:58am CST
These days, I have done a lot of thinking. I guess circumstance has forced me to think about some of the realities of life that I try to go against - but no matter what I do, I cannot do anything about.
For instance, regardless how much you'd work hard - if it's not your time to shine (or perhaps if your existence just won't be noticed) then you cannot do anything about it. Another is when you're with your family and there's just nothing 'special' about you, you will forever be fighting for the attention - but regardless what you do, they will not notice you. If they do, it is temporary.
Another would be the all time favorite - Love. Regardless how much we say or show a person we love him/her. We cannot force them to love us back. Neither could we keep them from going out searching for something else. We cannot stop our lover from falling in love with someone else - or worst, finding the love of his/her life most especially when they realize it's not you.
No, I'm not really ranting. It's just, these thoughts makes me feel that in a lot of things - I'm not in control and I would never be. I may spend so many times to convince someone that what I do and feel is for real but it's up to him if he would feel the same or not.
4 people like this
8 responses
@tiffnkeat (1673)
• Singapore
22 Jan 11
laydee, however you feel now, do not think only or negative things. Life pose us problems so we can grow. There is always something you can do. First believe in God and also believe in His watch over you, then you can believe in yourself. Are you being too hard on yourself? You have raised so many issues. Why not handle them one at a time. It's important to think, but don't just think of the problem. Use your thinking cap to think about solutions too. If need be, talk to close friends. I am sure you are more blessed than you believe.
I hope you can find the courage to be strong. If you need more advice, pose each of those questions and seek the collected inputs from Lotters, as you are doing now. I am sure we can brainstorm together for you.
Smile. Thank God we are given the gift of each day too. OK?
2 people like this
@rberon1985 (5359)
• Philippines
23 Jan 11
hi tiffnkeat
very well said.as what others says:"put god first."and "do your best and god will
do the rest".problems are just part of life.if we don't encounter problems,our
life has no challenge.it is very important we experience challenges and stress
because it makes us strong and be more confident.as what i advice laydee,if
she love someone and doesn't love her,she don't have to be worry.if you are
really destined to one another,at the end,you will be together.
1 person likes this
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
23 Jan 11
Perhaps you are trying to drive against the wind! Hard work is a joy, and an honor! You shine by working hard. To be noticed by others is not always a good thing.Working hard and keeping it secret, can be a great blessing in your life.
True love, or Absolute Love, asks nothing in return. If your lover finds another and is happier, your heart would be truly joyful.If you Love absolutely, you could not be happier, than to have your lover find the true love of his/her life elsewhere! Life is a Grand Design, and we shine brightest when we work within, and not in conflict, with this Grand Design of life!
@jacklintan (1302)
• Malaysia
23 Jan 11
hi barehugs,
Letting go of the love of your life is impossible.
If you are willing to let it go for her/him for someone else, u have a heart of gold.
@rberon1985 (5359)
• Philippines
22 Jan 11
Life is full of challenges.We cannot avoid that.We just have to be very strong to
face everything to survive.we cannot please everyone.i undestand how you feel
right now.i have also experienced that.it's good that you have shared it here.it
can make you feel comfortable when you voice it out.
I also fight for the attention of my family.my mom and my brothers were the only
one who is supporting me on what i am doing right now.other immediate families
just ignore me.i cannot do something on that.i cannot please them to like what
i am doing.to like me as me,to be contented on what i have and what i can give.
love?we should never look for a love.it comes in a natural way.always remember
that there is a person that is destined to you.if your loving someone right
now and you are ignored by him,do not worry.if you are really destined,in the
end you will be together.i hope i was able to help you.happy mylotting!!
@rberon1985 (5359)
• Philippines
23 Jan 11
i agree with you.nothing will happen if you will just keep on saying things
to do without any action.
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
30 Jan 11
Hiya laydee,
Any one of us can feel like that at anytime. One minute you might be feeling okay and the next you get to thinking about what if I had or had not. Today and tomorrow could be one of those times for me. But I have learned to bypass them as they bring me and do me no good really.
I cannot change anything that I did then. I was forced to take and make decisions and the outcome was out of my reach also.
Mostly I live for the next two hours happening I find that much more relaxing. But today and tomorrow and in fifteen Days time it will be a difficult time for me to get through even if I ignore it.
But I will get through it the best way I can.
Yes you are right you cannot make People love you either in Family or otherwise. 
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
24 Jan 11
I think that there are times where you are in control or maybe you are never in control. Perhaps there is some force that is so in control that it is making you think that it is in control and not you. I think that we at times are dancing at the whims of everything in life and we are just along for the right. Granted there are times where it can be a great ride, but it can be full of bumps, twists, and turns.
I think that love is something that we might give freely a lot of the time and the thing is that it is taken advantage of. From friends, partners, and even family members, I'm sad to say some of the time. It is just one of those harsh realities of life. It is just something that we need to really deal with and have to find a way to cope with but it is really not all that easy, but that's an unfortunate challenge.
@figurativeme (1089)
• Philippines
29 Jan 11
Hi laydee! Strange but I was just feeling this today when I came across your post while reading for posts.
It is not a nice feeling, this feeling of being unable to do someting about anything at all. But dwelling on it won't help either. So I give it up and though the feeling remains, the decision of letting it go and giving it up somehow lightens the feeling. Like freeing you from something.
I don't know why sad circumstance stays long in our feelings and memories while happy circumstance is flitting. Probebly why we dwell more on sad circumstances than on happy ones. But counting the blessings seem to be a better option than dwelling on what we cannot do anything about and be miserable. So...let's count our blessings. 
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
24 Jan 11
Hi, Laydee!
Circumstances may seem impossible to alter, but that's rarely the case. How we perceive and act upon what happens in our lives may change the entire situation. We can't just let life happen to us; we must do all we can to make it happen FOR us!
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
24 Jan 11
It's true. There are some things we should leave alone coz there really isn't much we can do about it but worry or think about. I guess we should just focus on the things that we can do something about so we can be productive instead of just dwelling on "what could have beens.." or "...should have beens.." It's better to do things that can change us for the better than stick with things we have no control of.
