I am in love with the wrong person

no

First things first. Is you best friend single with no relationship? Does he feel the same way like you do? Have you tried hanging out with your boyfriend like you did with your friend? Assess your feelings with him. Who do want to live for the rest of your life? You really need to choose only one.

This is somewhat complicated and any wrong move will lead to disaster so try to spend some quiet time alone. Reflect on what kind of life you want to live. Go somewhere without bringing your boyfriend or best friend and rethink about your life. Identify who among them is the most special and the person you cannot live without. Weigh your feelings and figure it out who is the heaviest and has the strong impact in your life. try to seek God's help, pray a lot and ask His guidance to make you decide a correct decision according to His will. Believe me, being torn between two closest persons in your heart is one of the most agonizing moment in your life especially if you don't know who to pick. Why don't you open this thing to your bestfriend? I mean try to find out first if your best friend is in love with you too, there are several ways in knowing the truth, email, text, private message at FB. Then wait for his reactions. The next step will follow this move. Good luck!

Well, you need to choose between the two guys and set yourself who's among the best and who's really within your heart? It's hard to play with two lovers because it will be your destruction in the end...

Um... yes, no? Thus far there is nothing inherently wrong with what you are doing. However, if I were you, I would draw this to a distinct conclusion before moving forward. So if I had a girl friend, and she was talking about getting married, but I was really in love with my best friend a girl, what would I do... Hm.... First, I think it would be unfair of me to be in love with someone else, while talking about marriage with someone. That's just unfair, do you agree? Reverse the situation. If you were the girl talking marriage with your best friend, and he was really in love with someone else, would that be fair to you? So my rule is, I never do to someone else, what I wouldn't want done to me. What to do.... Well I think I'd take a break from my girlfriend, and say I just need some space and time, to think things through. If my girlfriend can't accept that, then she's too petty for me anyway. I would hope the other person would want me to be completely committed to marriage before I did it, and if they can't handle needing some space to make that decision, then it's a sign I shouldn't get married. But during that time of separation, I would carefully go over what I wanted to do. Perhaps I would call this best friend up and tell her we need to talk, and just say it. Tell her I'm interested in dating her, and wonder if she feels the same. Possibly she doesn't and that would end it. If she does, then date. Let ex-girlfriend know that I've changed my mind, that I decided I was really in love with my best friend, and could not in clear conscience date her until I dealt with that. But if I find she isn't interested in me, then that is it. Game over, time to move on. Call up ex-girlfriend, and ask her out. Why is this important? I've known men and women, who were married for years to their 'second choice'. Still in love with some other person somewhere. It makes for a bad marriage. You don't want to constantly be thinking about 'person x' somewhere that you really loved, and wished you had taken a chance on. Further, us pathetic human beings, have a nasty tendency to glorify something we really like. You test drive a new car, or something amazing thing at a friends house, that has the 3D super 5-way surround sound 50" TV. Then every time you climb into your car, every little thing it has wrong you think "if only I had that amazing car" or when you watch your tiny TV with the single speaker "if only I had that big screen flat panel surround sound TV". I don't care who your with, every husband has his flaws. You don't want to be thinking every time "if only I had married so-and-so, he was so much better". That's not going to lead to a good marriage. You want to enter a marriage with a clear mind. It will lead you to a better place. Another reason to do this is, I've heard of people who left their husband to run off with a high school crush. Married for years, and then the 'man I had a crush on' showed up, and I couldn't resist. I always loved him. Then she finds out, he's not so special. Just an average guy with the same flaws all humans have. Now she doesn't want him at all because he reminds her of her infidelity, and of course her husband doesn't want her because she's a cheat. So now she's alone and miserable. All because she couldn't get over a crush 15 years ago or whatever. Don't go there. Finish this up, and make a choice. That's what I would do.

If you are both talking about marriage then this should be something that you both want, but with the way that you feel towards your best friend you just seem to be leading your current partner on, this is so very very wrong. If you love your best friend then you need to be honest with both him and your partner, this may cause you to lose both, but you cannot stay with your current partner and even consider marriage when you are truly in love with someone else, that is awful, what type of person would do that? Honesty is the best policy here, even if it leaves you on your own.

Welcome to Mylot. I hope that you find value in your discussions here. If you have feelings for both guys then before committing yourself to either one, I would think you would need to explore your own experiences with them more deeply. As a Zen practitioner and therapist myself, I don't believe in giving specific advice on these sort of matters, other than listen to nobody but your own self - your own heart. And don't do anything at all until you are absolutely sure of your choice. Then you can make it, and stick to it. More diffictult it is always better to be absolutely honest with the guy you choose then. I say diffictult because it is a risk that he will not want you because of the other guy, and if that's the case, then it probably wouldn't work out anyway. In my experience it is honesty and integrity that always strengthen a relationship, but not all people want it. Take care, and good luck _Derek

Hi dear, You are confused and even we! You need to both in your hand and don't want to miss both of them. However, choice is yours and you will get one for ever and not both. What we will do for it. Yes, go for the one you most like and wish to keep for every. One has to give up for ever to enter into your future as life partner. I think you still like your 10 year old friend as the best one and your writing says too. I think a period of 3 years you lived with your new friend. You enjoyed and took the maximum change through this guy. Now turn back to your old one and first of all you need to know where your old friend will accept the change or go back. Also, are you thinking to disclose that whatever life you spend with your 3 year old friend would be going to repeat. I don't know what type of 'dating' you had with your new friend. If it is of beyond the limit, then better to stay with the new guy. A go back to your old fiend may cause lose of the both. Because if your old friend is not able to cooperate with the new relationships, there may be conflicts. Once you discuss the fact and both have their own vies and rethinks, you may be in trouble and may chances of confusion. I think better to be with the new one who had dated and keep the old friend as a fiend only. A permanent relationship is always better with a person who already leaned to. If you had not involved conditions with old one, leave them peacefully and select the one you dated. In any case you stick on to the old one, I am sure that you are greedy (in another way lucky) because you will get a life to live with both, it is rare chance. Best of luck. Thank-s

About love,i think it is a kind of feelings on men or women.It is hard to say who is right or wrong.If you love a person,you would input all of your energy to love him or her.It is a common action toward people

well i wouldnt marry someone i am not in love with

You are perfectly right! Marry that boy! Forgive him for the past, spending time with a lovely girl like you without taking the initiative that this guy you're dating is taking, and--telling him that your husband would always-ALWAYS be your best friend--Ask him (your best friend) to marry you!

Hi daijahty! First of all, I would like to remind you that marriage is a lifetime commitment. Once you get married, there is no turning back. Before you decide on getting married, I think that you should first analyze the depth of your feelings towards your boyfriend as compared to your bestfriend. In case you determined that it is your bestfriend whom you want to spend the rest of your life with, tell him about your feelings but be ready to accept his response even if it may hurt you. I think, if you finally determined that it is indeed your boyfriend whom you want to be your husband, you should no longer tell him that you what you have felt towards your bestfriend since it will only create unnecessary tension between the three of you. Take note that I used the past tense when I referred to your feelings towards your bestfriend, it is because when you decide to marry your boyfriend you should forget and let go of your romantic feelings towards your bestfriend no matter how hard it will be. When you marry someone, you must give him all of your heart. You should not have any romantic feelings towards anyone except him since doing so will lead to temptation. Good luck and may you make the right decision... the decision that you will not regret. Once you make a decision stand by it and never regret, only then will you attain true happiness. All the best...

No you are not wrong if you really love him then go on with the marriage.

Life is short! Follow your heart! Marriage is a huge step towards commitment. Why commit to someone you learn to love when you know your best friend is the one you should be with. Think of yourself in about 10 years or so. When you wake up, who would you rather see? More importantly, are you with your boyfriend out of habit and only want to marry him because you feel that's what you "need" to do. Follow what your heart wants. It will be hard at first, it would even be better to give your self some space before you jump into another relationship. Give yourself time to clear your heart and open your heart to the man YOU WANT by your side.

Yes, I think you are wrong. Not only are you cheating on two people both of whom are equally special to you, you are cheating yourself too. In the long run, you’ll have to live with yourself, you can never escape your inner voice, so listen to it and take the final decision. Marriage is one of the most important milestones in our life so you have every right to ponder over the situation and then take a decision. Right now, if you leave your boyfriend and marry your best friend, your bf will feel bad and let down but in the long run, it would be best than pining for your best friend throughout your life.

I think it is confusing , not wrong! I have a friend who told me he looked to fall for his best friend. What you need to do is figure out which guy you love most. If it is your boyfriend , Then marry him. But if it is your best friend, then you Have to tell them both.Who knows, your best friend may feel the same way. But to love one and marry another in this day and age isn't needed or good. Follow your heart.

I'm not saying u are right or wrong but don't think u need to be marrying anyone w/feelings like that.

It is best to decide marry for the right reasons as dictated by your heart and mind. Probably what you need is to put it in a very perspective between you, your best friend and your boyfriend. i think you need time [including the two guys} on your own as to realize what really could make a better for you.

That would be a very confusing situation. I wouldn't get married until I knew exactly what my feelings were. You don't want to marry your fiance and then be with someone else that would be very hurtful for your fiance and be even more confusing then. I wouldn't mess around on him either before getting married. I would just make sure your not getting confused on your feelings. Feelings sometimes can be confusing. I wouldn't leave my fiance and be with my friend either. You need to figure out who you really want to be with. Who you really love in that kind of way. We can love other people and it doesn't mean that they would work out when it comes to being with and your friend might not feel the same way and you might not be as compatible as you think. Hopefully everything works out for you. Good luck in your future.

Hi, I have been in this situation also and did go ahead with the marriage; this was a big mistake. There were obviously problems in the relationship, otherwise I would not have fallen in love with someone else. The marriage only lasted a matter of months, and ended up causing a great deal of heartache for everyone involved - including the friend, who also had feelings for me. In hindsight, I should have ended the relationship with my ex, as deep down I knew things weren't right. Myself and the friend involved, have now been together for 6 years, and have been married for 3. We have had our problems, but we are very much in love and very happy. The difference is that I really want this relationship to work, and looking back I did not feel that way about my previous relationship. If I were you, I would look at your current relationship, and decide whether you want it to work as getting married does not solve any problems which are already there. I would do anything for my present husband, but could not say the same about my ex. Good luck with whatever you decide