Would this frustrate you?
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
January 24, 2011 5:59pm CST
My husband has had a horrible toothache for months! He had seen a dentist about it before, and that dentist told him he'd probably have to see an oral surgeon because it's a wisdom tooth, and this dentist did not want to pull a wisdom tooth and possibly cause further damage, since the wisdom tooth root is so deep.
So hubby has been living with this pain because he is afraid of seeing the oral surgeon.
When my husband is in pain, he gets cranky and irritable. He snaps and me and the kids for no reason, just because he's in pain and miserable. He doesn't see that his pain is affecting us all!
I've already made him an appointment with a different dentist. He doesn't even want to go to that appointment because he's certain the dentist will tell him to see the oral surgeon. I think there's a chance he won't have to. I had all my wisdom teeth pulled without an oral surgeon.. it's worth a shot! But he still said he will not see this dentist.
Well I refuse to allow him to continue to be miserable all the time and treat us all unfairly because of it.
Have you ever been in a situation like this? What should I do to convince my husband that he needs to see the dentist?
5 people like this
13 responses
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
25 Jan 11
How drastic are you willing to get?
Seriously, you can't make him if he doesn't want to, but maybe you can persuade him. Starting with letting him know how miserable he is making all of you, and maybe following with whatever consequences you are willing to dole out if he doesn't.
2 people like this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
25 Jan 11
I've told him what he's doing to us. He doesn't want to listen. He thinks if he just doesn't consume any sugar for the rest of his life he'll be okay. If you ask me, he's being a big baby and I just want to hurt him! He can't even see how selfish he's being. I don't know yet how drastic I want to get.. but seriously.. this is nuts!
2 people like this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
25 Jan 11
I would tell him to take his pain, and suffer elsewhere. If he doesn't want to deal with it, that's his thing, but if his not dealing with it is going to affect the rest of the family, a problem which none of you deserve, then maybe he should go somewhere else, until he feels like dealing with it.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160708)
• United States
25 Jan 11
This is what I would feel like saying as well. Get on with it or get over it, but do not make us all suffer. He is putting his own health at risk as well.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
25 Jan 11
Yeah.. that's an option. He has decided to see the dentist though, thankfully! However if he's told again that he needs to see the oral surgeon.. he'll probably refuse to go.
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
25 Jan 11
Wow! That does sound really frustrating! And not to offend you, but your husband seems like he is being a little selfish. If he's treating you and your children like crap because he refuses to do something simple about his pain...that's not good.
I got all of my wisdom teeth pulled too without an oral surgeon, but mine were not causing me pain. So maybe the fact that it is hurting is the reason his dentist told him to seek an oral surgeon.
If he leaves it untreated it will only get worse for him. Pretty soon the pain will have spread, and gotten SO bad that he will go...not of free will but because the pain will be too much for him to handle. And not only is it possible the problem may have spread, but it might cost a lot more than it originally would have if he got help sooner.
Good luck!!! Hang in there, let us know how it goes!!!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
25 Jan 11
Mine were all pulled and in pain. His I think is most likely because they are impacted, and most of his wisdom teeth haven't even broken through the gums yet. Though I keep telling him, maybe that dentist is just a wuss.. maybe this dentist will pull it for him.
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
26 Jan 11
Oh yikes! That doesn't sound like fun!!!
I know the difference between a dentist and an oral surgeon, but what is the difference to your hubby? I mean, either way he's getting his teeth pulled, one is just more of a specialist. Is it the cost or something that is stopping him from going?
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
26 Jan 11
He's afraid the oral surgeon will put him under while he pulls the teeth. I don't know if that's how they do it or not. Personally I'd prefer to be put under while my teeth are being worked on. Hubby is terrified of being put under because of something that happened when he was a kid.
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
26 Jan 11
katsmeow1213,
I believe the mention of surgery is getting into your husband's nerves and as such the both of you should have a talk to address his concerns and/or hesitations.
The next thing will be to look for a competent and experienced dentist, who will explain with the dental x-rays, tooth structure and the surgical process which your husband has concerns with it.
Like my wife, she had a many sleepless night when she had to remove not one but two wisdom teeth. But, after addressing her concerns about what was involved she just went with it.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
26 Jan 11
He's afraid of being put under. He's certain that's what an oral surgeon will do. I did convince him to see a dentist, we'll see how it goes from there.
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
25 Jan 11
I'm with you. At the very least they could give him something for the pain. I honestly have only had one of mine pulled, and it was w/o an oral surgeon. It really doesn't sound like he has anything to lose. Good luck, men ( my father in particular) can be stubborn.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
25 Jan 11
He's not stubborn.. just a big baby. He's afraid he'll have to be put under, and that makes him very nervous. If he were guaranteed not to be put under, he'd have no problem. This is one of his major fears due to a bad experience as a child. I'm having very little sympathy for him considering how miserable he's making the rest of us!
1 person likes this
@GreenMoo (11834)
•
26 Jan 11
I SO SO So sympathise! The first thing I ask my partner when he's grumpy is whether his teeth are hurting. money is a factor in him getting them fixed, but we have both agreed that he should phone the dentist and start the ball rolling to get them sorted yet he hasn't. If he wants to live with the pain that's his own business, but I don't see why he should make everyone around him suffer as well!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
26 Jan 11
My husband would never make an appointment for himself if I left it up to him. That is why I typically go ahead and do it for him, just like I made this dental appointment for him.
Of course it goes both ways. He's been telling me for a few weeks to call and see what the cost would be of getting our cable back, and it just wasn't on my mind when I had the opportunity to call. So he went ahead and made that call today himself.
@GardenGerty (160708)
• United States
25 Jan 11
It almost sounds like he wants to be miserable. An oral surgeon is not a bad thing. I have been to one a few times, or at least twice. They usually get the job done more efficiently and with less damage than having teeth pulled in office. He has a choice, oral surgeon or another dentist, because dental problems can cause infection throughout the body and can cause heart disease as well. I think he needs to realize that this is more of an issue than just his teeth.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
25 Jan 11
He's afraid the oral surgeon will put him under.. and he has a major fear of being put under from a bad experience as a child. Even back when his appendix was about to rupture and the doctor's told him he needed surgery he kept saying "Nope, I'm going home now." They had to give him meds for his anxiety over the surgery.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
25 Jan 11
He knows that.. he just doesn't want to go to the oral surgeon. He has an appointment with a regular dentist on the 9th. We'll see how it goes.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
26 Jan 11
He needs to man up. Men are such big ol' babies. I hate tooth pain & would have gotten it pulled a long time ago.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
26 Jan 11
Yep, men most certainly are big ole babies!! He has the dentist appointment on the 9th. Let's hope that dentist is able to pull it without an oral surgeon. Get this over and done with!
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
25 Jan 11
Tell him straight how his not going to the Dentist is affecting all of you. The entire family and that you cannot take it anymore. Yes, he must seek a second opinion before anything is done and needs a script for pain killers too. Best of luck!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
25 Jan 11
I told him last night he should at least see what this dentist has to say. There's no point freaking out yet if he doesn't even know forsure that he'll need an oral surgeon. He also doesn't know forsure that the oral surgeon will put him under.. he might just give him novicaine like a normal dentist. So now he is willing to go to the dental appointment and see where things go from there.
@indahfth (11161)
• Indonesia
25 Jan 11
I ever experienced something like you. My husband has a toothache, and did not want to see a doctor. When sick, me and my children were targeted. All we did is considered wrong by my husband. I am very angry, but I do not get angry. I am trying to find a way out, so my husband wanted to go to the dentist. I called my in-laws, and my in-laws forced my husband to the dentist, and finally my husband went to the dentist.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
27 Jan 11
Your husband sounds a lot like how I get when I am not feeling well. In fact, I've been pretty sick this week (for the first time since I was a teenager) and I know it is taking it's toll on my family. I'm griping at the kids and my husband and I think it is because of the fact that I'm so miserable. I've got a mild case of pneumonia, but that is really bad for someone that really never gets sick.
That said, you should just tell your husband that it never hurts to get a second opinion. I could have had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled without an oral surgeon as well, but I had to have an oral surgeon do mine because I also have TMJ and had to be observed by one of the oral-facial pain dentists during my extraction and they shared a floor at the dental school with oral surgery.
@tkonlinevn (6438)
• Vietnam
25 Jan 11
Is your husband OK now? I wish he's well.
I met this situation before, of course. This is very normal. But I think that you should try to make your husband going to oral surgeon. If not, It will be dangerous for him. And your family must be continue sorrow with him!
