What should I do?
By Watson2011
@Watson2011 (28)
China
January 25, 2011 9:03am CST
My gf and I fell in love when we were at college. After gruduation, she went to Australia to study pharmacy. When she told me that she wanted to study abroad, my heart was broken and I felt the world was gray. I couldn't see the sunlight in the daytime and I was unable to fall asleep at night. But considered about her future, I yielded to her decision. She tried to persuade me to go with her, but what I wanted to study was another subject, thus I decided to to stay. Then she asked me to find a job in Australia after graduation and she promised she would wait for me in that case. I agreed. After she went to Australia, I tried hard to connect with her on the internet everyday. Slowly, she was busy in arranging her life there, and she spent less and less time on the internet. One day I could not help asking her if she still missed me. She said, quite frankly, that she missed me no more, for she was so busy. My heart was totally broken, and I decided to forget her. Now, after half a year, we seldom communicate with each other.
I thought I've forgotten her. However, I dreamt of her quite often recently. I got to face the truth that I still care about her. What should I do?
2 people like this
9 responses
@edb225112 (124)
• United States
25 Jan 11
We all have people who we loved but because of time, space or events we had to let go. Review what was good about the relationship. What did you get from this wonderful person? There is nothing wrong with dreaming about what might have been. Don't let the dreams stop you from finding someone special who can be here for you. Celebrate the good things about this person, laugh about the bad things in the relationship and understand you are lonely for this kind of love. You can get the feelings back by getting involved with people and projects around you. It is great to have the memories and the caring for this person. Time to leave the past behind. Get out of the house, out of the darkness, and find the positive things about yourself - those things in you that created the love you had with your ex girlfriend.
2 people like this
@Watson2011 (28)
• China
26 Jan 11
Thank you! Your words do give me much comfort, and I think I've found the way to face all of these head on right now. Thank you so much!
1 person likes this
@koikei (206)
• Philippines
26 Jan 11
greetings! long distance relationships are really difficult. reminds me of the saying, "out of sight, out of mind", and a lot of LDRs do not work out. but if you really love and want her to be a part of your life, then try your best to contact her as often as possible. but at the same time, give her some space for her to grow as an individual. people change and if her feelings for you have changed, then all you can do is move on.
1 person likes this
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
26 Jan 11
Hate to state the obvious, but no matter how crazy you are for her, she is not the one for you. At least in this stage of her life, she cares more about Australia and her own plans than she does about you. That is not true love, so don't sell yourself out for her.
1 person likes this
@ralevi (1885)
• United States
25 Jan 11
First of all I want to say sorry for the situation you are in. I honestly can't imagine how do you feel after that. What I can tell you is to take one decision and stick with it. If you decide to give her another change do it! Talk with her! If not just forget her and never thing twice about your decision. From what I read she is not really a good girlfriend but I bet that this is not all of the story between you two. So sit down think about everything that happened between you too make your decision and stick with it. :) I hope you make a good decision and a one that you will not regret.
@Watson2011 (28)
• China
26 Jan 11
Yeah, you're right. My subjective feelings must be involved in my words, and I'm thinking about everything happened before and try to make a decision that I won't regret in the future.
1 person likes this
@aprilsong (1884)
• China
26 Jan 11
Hi,watson,love can bring us happiness, but it can also bring us sadness. It maybe take much longer time to forget a person than fall in love with him or her. It is normal we dream things about the past. And when something is always on our minds, then it will be easily to go into our dreams.
You dream about your girlfriend because,as you said, you still can't forget her. I think she not talk with you any more may has two reasons: 1,maybe she doesn't want to wait too long time for you go to australia, or she is not fully confident about your future and the possibility of being together. 2, she is in another place and got too many pressure in her life, and in this case, you should try to understand her.
Since you still remember her, i think as other mylotter friends suggest, you have another try for your relationship. If after talking with her, you find you two have no possibility to be together in the future, then it is better move on, wish each other have a good life.
1 person likes this
@Watson2011 (28)
• China
26 Jan 11
I think she's suffering too much pressure at present. I try my best to understand her all the time, and sometimes I'm afraid to misunderstand her because of my selfishness. I don't have eyes on our future now, because I think it is quite unsure. But I'm working harder, in order to prepare for the unseen future, and it is possiblely the future of us two.
1 person likes this
@Marmot (590)
• United States
25 Jan 11
In the case that you still care about her, why don't you just try to communicate with her again? It is reasonable for one get too busy when just reach another country because is a totally different environment, and get used to it need time. I think you should contact her again, and tell her you still care her so much. You two have years of love and I think she could understand you. Just have a try and you may get your love back. Love between distance is hard, but you still have hope, right?
@Watson2011 (28)
• China
26 Jan 11
You're right. But first let me think over that wheather she's just the right one for me, for something happened still grieve me a lot.
1 person likes this
@markroderick (888)
• Philippines
27 Jan 11
Watson I guess you to should adjust to the current situation between you and your girl friend. Since she told you that she doesn't miss you because of her busy life. Girls like us wouldn't tell a guy that if they still care for the guy. The best thing for you to do is to move on. I already experienced that before with my boy friend we don't have a communication for a year. And one time I ask him and he just tell me that he is busy and he is sorry that he just forgets me. So, i told him that it is better for us to go on our separate ways since communication is really a big part on the relationship. If you really love and cared for that person no matter what happens you will find time to communicate just to fill in the distance between you two. Hope this advice can help you to decide. Good luck and God Bless!
@zenki08 (700)
• Philippines
27 Jan 11
I know what your going through. I am in the same boat as you are. My girl is so busy finding work to help her family she has little time to spend with me. I do tell her this and I'm also afraid that she might forget me because of this. But in a lighter side I want to believe her that she loves me and she cares a lot for me.
Going through your situation is hard. I guess the best thing to do now is talk to her and admit that you love her. She might still love you.
