Why Do Some People Just Never Accept Any Help?
By KrauseHome
@KrauseHome (36448)
United States
January 25, 2011 2:31pm CST
and continue to always think they are right, and always want to treat everyone like they do a child? Personally this is one of my Pet peeves when you have someone constantly wanting to criticize or whatever with you and when you try and offer them some advice and help they say they do not need it, or you are not their Supervisor so you do not know what you are talking about.
We have a woman I work with, who says she is in her 30s, (but Maturity wise acts like maybe 20-21) who just really gets on my nerves. She has only been working where I have for like 3 1/2 months and wants to play Mother Hen to everyone, and thinks she nows everything. I tried to help her with something and give her some advice about a month or so ago and she said I am not her Supervisor so she can answer the phones and talk to people anyway she wants.
Then the last 2 Fridays she has constantly wanted to take time for some reason listening to the Calls I am on, which some of them she originally took telling me this is what the person really said even if she got the address wrong, etc. and when I told her I did not need her help on the calls, she got all upset and that is when I told her to please mind her own calls and not mine. And then so got all upset even more.
Personally she has a hard time with people older than her. She has no respect for her elders either unless they are in autority. I told her to leave me alone and never talk to me again and told her she needs to respect her Elders if she is ever going to get anywhere in life. She continues to think the world owes her and everything should be handed to her, and I guess I just got tired of it.
How do you deal with people like this, especially when you have to work with them?
~~TINA~~
7 people like this
20 responses
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
25 Jan 11
I could never be rude to someone I worked with, no matter how much I wanted to. I'd just smile, and say thank you, and then ignore them as much as I could.
I do not think this is a matter of her needing to respect her elders. I really hate when people say that. Just because someone is older than me does not mean they deserve more respect than me. Age does not make you wiser or more deserving than someone else! I give respect to those who deserve it, regardless of their age.
This woman obviously does not give respect to anyone, regardless of age, unless they are above her in rank.
3 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
26 Jan 11
This could be true, but then why would she feel she needs to be the Mother Hen over everyone? Is it something that was lacking in her childhood?
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
26 Jan 11
I'm guessing it's more likely that she has very low self esteem so tries to make herself look better than everyone else in order to feel better about herself. My sister in law does this too.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
25 Jan 11
I sympathise with you my lovely friend. I've come across people like this. In fact, I've had people FAR younger than me interviewing me for jobs and I find it ironic when they ask me what my work experience has been.
I'm always tempted to say, "about 20 years more than you" but never quite get round to it!
I'm always tempted to say, "about 20 years more than you" but never quite get round to it!3 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
29 Jan 11
Well, it is interesting how sometimes, especially people like her who is 33, tends to think they have really lived life and you could not show them or share with them anything new. They tend to think even though I have been at this job for 4 1/2 yrs. that letting her do it her way even if it is wrong is OK. I even heard her make a comment tonight that she is Fed up with going to the Boss and complaining about us, and he does nothing about it. I was thinking "Poor her? NOT!!"
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
29 Jan 11
I wouldn't be thinking "Poor her" either lol.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
25 Jan 11
Well I guess I would have done the same as you did and tell her straight
She needs to learn to take advise from someone who has done the job and is experienced not be a pain and think she knows it all someone had to tell her and you did right in telling her
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
29 Jan 11
Personally I think overtime this has helped to show her that people are not going to listen to sometimes the way she likes to talk down to some of us coworkers as well as some of the customers who call for cabs. Personally if you cannot accept criticism and advice when working as a Call taker, then maybe it is Best time for her to consider moving onto something else.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
25 Jan 11
This is probably somewhat the same thing...I try to be open and understanding when my ex is around...and his girlfriend is nice but it's like she is always offering me advice...or ways to improve what I am doing even though I have never seen anything that she has done. When we had my grandson's graduation...I was the one making all the salads as my daughter had to work right up until the day of the open house..well she kept telling me to do the salads different...finally I said..this is my daughters home and I'll make them the way she wanted them done! Good thing too as my daughter said her kids would never have eaten the salads the way it was suggested I do it...that is one small example...thankfully I don't have to be around her much...she always has advice for everyone but like you said...she doesn't need anything...I usually have to walk away! Or if I opened my flapper I would regret it!
3 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
29 Jan 11
Wow!! This would be hard to deal with for sure, but you have to do it for the sake of your kids. This would be so annoying though. Not sure I could deal with it as well as you are saying. But walking away is definately Good advice.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
26 Jan 11
I would have done the same as you. See we can try and help and advise but they insist on being disrespectful, there is a line we have to draw, and it certainly cannot be mistreatment.
I am glad you stood up for yourself as maybe now she will get the message of her annoyances.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
22 Feb 11
Well, things are a little better with her at work, but most of the time we now all try to avoid her so their is no confrontations. Seriously she thinks she is still HOT stuff, and deserves respect even though she does not know how to give it. There are many of us who just tolerate her because we have too, and hope in time she learns the error of her ways.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
26 Jan 11
My Wendy was tired of screaming so I spruced her up to smile and blow kisses. She will change from time to time, as long as she can smile. 
1 person likes this
@Marmot (590)
• United States
26 Jan 11
There are arrogant people out there. They just think themselves always right. But what I do to these people is tell them what is really right when they make mistakes, because I think it is the right thing to do so. Sometimes they just ignore my advise but I keep doing like that if I care that person. And if not, I just keep silence the next time.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
22 Feb 11
These are some Great points. Seriously I have found it best to just keep quiet knowing in time everyone else will find out how annoying she can be. Personally if she upsets a lot of the people calling for a cab, in time it will all get linked back to her and she will have been warned.
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
26 Jan 11
I show respect to everyone, simple as that. I don't understand people who don't, I don't understand people who act that way. I know a few people who sound just like that. I'm the supervisor/manager at work and we only have a few of us in the office. Lucky for me I don't have that problem at work. I have the problem at home. I have a granddaughter who lives with me who is a pain in my behind. She is 18, thinks she is smart, acts like an immature child, thinks the world revolves around her. I could go on and on. lets just say I am not happy with her. I wish I had some great advice on dealing with people like that. I don't, try to ignore her, try to stay away from her. Good luck Tina, I wish you well.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
30 Jan 11
Wow, to have to deal with someone like this living around me would annoy me worse than having to deal with someone like this at work. Sometimes though it does make me wonder how people can be like this, and not accept any help from anyone unless they can be the mother hen themselves. There are so many things I have see about her, it definately makes me look back and be glad this was never me.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
26 Jan 11
My mother always said that people like that are too big for their britches. I think people are like that because it makes them FEEL superior, when they know damn well they are not. The more of an @$$ people are by their actions, the smaller they think they are inside. People like that drive me nuts too.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
30 Jan 11
So True... So True... So True. And then the latest one is everyone is so mean to her, and she does not understand why the Boss will not take her side. Makes me wonder if she has ever had to face anything before this?
@BarBaraPrz (47332)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
25 Jan 11
I tell them to "Take a pill!"
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
29 Jan 11
I relate KrauseHome because years ago I worked closely with a woman who sounds similar to your co-worker. I used to get upset and go home in tears until one day; I decided to ask for a transfer away from her so I would not have to listen to her anymore. Others told me that I should not have had to move from a job I enjoyed just because of this pest but I made the decision that my piece of mind was more important and, as I had a hard time ignoring her it was best I move away. I did that for eight months until Karma prevailed and she got kicked off her position because of the trouble she was continuously creating for others and lo and behold I was asked to return to my original job! If you can ignore this person long enough and stop focusing on her so much you may just find that she will gone soon enough…I do sympathise though because folks like that are extremely annoying!
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
29 Jan 11
Truly I am sure in time Karma will come around to her as it has to some of the others that used to work where I do that have tried and start some trouble. Sometimes I wonder if it is because I am a Christian and just have some morals and get tired of some of the Bad mouthing that others do and disrespect of people, even on the phone that it makes them act out so much? Personally there are 2 people like her, and the other one is on a different shift so I have no real contact but many times I think eventually they will get their due.
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
26 Jan 11
You deal with people like this by showing compassion. As for her respecting her elders, she obviously doesn't respect herself, but as long as you have self respect and show respect to others that is all that is important. This woman will succeed or fail of her own accord.
She is right in that you are not her supervisor. Are you familiar with the saying "no good deed goes unpunished?" Unless a supervisor asks you to speak with her you should not give her advice.
As for her "helping" you, perhaps you can have your workstation changed or speak to the supervisor. In call centers numbers and time on a call are usually important. Does this woman's interference slow you down? Does she interfere with others?
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Jan 11
If it is possible to ignore a person like this at work, that is what I would have to do. However, if you have to deal with someone like that, I think that I would make it a point to talk down to them all the time. I realize that this is not the most professional way to be about things, but I know that I don't like to deal with people that are irrational when it comes to the work that I am doing. Actually, when it all boils down to it, people like the girl that you are describing are a big part of the reason that I don't work outside the house anymore. I don't like dealing with stupid people.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
28 Jan 11
Well I think this is a lot of the reason, I really am wanting to get my Store going more from my home to where I in turn do not have to worry about working for someone else. But for now I do what I got to do until something better comes along. Just hoping somehow her eyes can be opened and she sees herself for who she really is instead of who she needs to be.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
26 Jan 11
I guess that office mate of yours has a problem of dealing with her co-employees and she doesn't want a supervisor but want to be the supervisor herself! [/b]
So you see, with that attitude nobody wants to befriend her. She will one day learn her lesson though.
So you see, with that attitude nobody wants to befriend her. She will one day learn her lesson though. 1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
30 Jan 11
Well, a lot of people talk to her, but I am not sure how many people that are older than her really want to be around her. She personally would make a LOUSY supervisor and personally would ruin the Cab business if she did become one. I am sure the Boss if he has not already can see thru her and wonder what she is really up too sometimes.
@koikei (206)
• Philippines
26 Jan 11
greetings! i guess you can always igore them? but if you really have to interact with them, always try to assert yourself although a little compromise can probably help. once in a while, just give in to what she wants as long they're trivial and doesn't really affect you that much.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
22 Feb 11
Personally for me and many others I work with, we have found the Best thing to do is just ignore her and hope in the meantime she does end up upsetting any of the other customers calling for cabs too much.
@jhartana (1084)
• Australia
26 Jan 11
Let her be like that. I am sure she will learn her lesson soon. You just do your own job and I suggest you not to help her, even if she asked you to help her. I did not try to be mean, but although I don't promote any rudeness in the workplace, but you will need to honestly say and explain to her why you're tired ofher. If she chooses to listen then it's good sign and you may want to give her another chance, but if she defended herself thinking she's superior then it will be your choice. You may want to report to your boss about her attitude.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
26 Jan 11
Luckily, I did not run into this very often. During temp services, I did my work and the know it alls did theirs. I never offered to help them because they know everything and if you try to interfere (help them) with their business they'll try to help you (interfere) with yours. So I just stayed far away from them.
When I worked in a prison, there was one girl, I was ordered to help her. She started acting outrageously and she started getting into my business. The first I reported to an officer so she wouldn't get hurt. The second, I would say something to distract her. Even if it was off the wall. Eventually she did things that were so stupid (even when I wasn't working) that they canned her. She wore a spaghettis strap top to watch inmates play sports. First of all, her job was at the school. Second, we're under orders to be modestly and completely clothed. Where was she? At the yard. The inmate rec yard. Far away from the school building. Luckily, I wasn't working that night. So no one called me in to write a report about her clothing or location.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
26 Jan 11
When I am working I do my job, I don't give help or advice unless asked and then only if it is something that the supervisor doesn't need to answer. I have found that in every office there is some troubled person and long ago I learned to leave these people alone. Many have found me very shy, but I learned to not join with others just keep my own job to myself and do what they pay me to do. I am not there to make friends.
@Chastised_Dreamz (559)
• United States
26 Jan 11
It would be hard for me to be rude to her. I would have probably left her to her own devices because if she thinks she's right, when she obviously isn't, it will catch up with her. If she only listens to people in authority then she'll have to listen when they say she's fired for poor work performance. I know it's mean to say but it's the truth.
I probably wouldn't have told her not to talk to me because I think that would make the work environment more uncomfortable and it isn't really conducive to the work environment since you do have to work together (not that her behavior is any of those). I understand your frustration and why you did it though. If she frustrated me enough though I might have told her the same thing you did about minding her own calls though, just to throw her own words back in her face lol.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
26 Jan 11
Unfortunately, there are some people that let pride get in the way of something they need for themselves or their families. They would rather suffer unnecessarily than to accept help. some people don't want anyone to know they are in the need of the help. Pride can be a stubborn obstacle to overcome.
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
26 Jan 11
HI!
If they can't accept it then let it be.You have done enough and she need to mind her own business.Perhaps we could say that she feel lonely or something wrong about her feelings and that is why she thought she need to supervised and mind other works.When we have nothing to do we tend to criticized and mumbling things and others.If this happen to me, I will do the same and try to talk kindly to her to let me do my work and she do hers. If she can't take it then I will say the truth that I am not okay with the way she deal with me and others.
