Parenting License? Why, or why not?

@jodylee (946)
United States
January 25, 2011 5:48pm CST
Seriously, it seems you need a license to do anything these days. Anything that might be dangerous, anything that involves actually helping people with your profession, to drive cars and hunt, to sell insurance. You name it, we expect people to license themselves for most anything. Why are we not regulating parenting at the same time? I would not get in an airplane with a fly by the seat of your pants pilot and fly to Europe so why should we allow people to have all the children they want no matter what the consequences are to the rest of the world. Would love to hear all sides to this because I know there are many. I often find myself struggling with thoughts like these and then, I think of all the reasons it would not work. Can't wait to see how you feel!
2 people like this
11 responses
• Philippines
26 Jan 11
Everybody has the right to become parents.But parenting license is somewhat ridiculous.Yes, it may be true that we all live in a world where danger is inevitable but it is part of life.Parenting is a learning experience that you cannot earn in school.Of course the basics are written in the books but it does not stop there, it is a life long process.Having a license does not necessarily mean you are good at your profession, it can only mean that you are allowed to practice your profession by undergoing some process. I am single to begin with, but i saw how my parents tried their best to nurture us kids in the best way possible especially that every kid has his own unique personality to deal with.Parenting skills are acquired through experience and continuous learning.Everyone is given the chance to become parents and requiring a license means depriving parents to fulfill their duties as parents.
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
I was waiting for that response and new it would come in. I totally understand and appreciate this side as well. The natural ability is certainly there for any and all and as a parent of two boys I certainly understand you cannot learn everything in all the books that are written in the world. It is certainly something you must work at and there needs to be some natural instinct involved. I am not sure I agree with the duty comment at the end, but I think I just do not fully understand what you meant by it. Can you explain that a bit further so I can get it.
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
That you for that. I was not on the right track with my thoughts before that. Glad to understand. I could not agree more about parents having a moral obligation for a good life to the children. Nurturing children is so important. I certainly hope to have the respect of my children from what they are taught at home. I think everyone should have the chance to be a parent if they choose that path, I just hope they educate themselves to some degree in order to provide a good life for the family.
• Philippines
26 Jan 11
What i meant with duties is the moral obligation of parents to give a good life to their children,a beautiful and happy life that they deserve.Nurture them and bring them up as good citizens.Well of course, as they age,they will have their own minds and convictions of their own but at the end of the day,parents will still earn the respect of their children if they were able to rear their children in the best way they can.
• United States
26 Jan 11
I've actually thought about this a lot. I may not have a completely objective point of view because I don't know what it's like to be pregnant or have a child... but being a young, somewhat politically aware, female, I look at this issue mostly from a population control point of view... I really do think that there should be more regulation as to who can have children, and how many. I can't remember what it was... but I saw something on television about the irony of reproduction. Couples who are careless about birth control, and really not ready to have children, seem to have the most- and then they raise children with similar habits or values (not ALL the time... but typically.) On the other side, you have a couple who is responsible enough to use birth control, wait until marriage, and take so long to decide whether or not to have a child that they either have only one child, are sterile, or don't have any at all. Yet, those higher society people actually have a high probability of raising a child that would benefit society, instead of populate it. I know this could sound quite harsh... but if there were a way to regulate who had children, there would be a significant dip in overpopulation, and quite possibly a raise in the intelligence of the youth.
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
Have you ever read the book Freakonomics? If not you should check it out, I think based on your response, you would like it very much. It does sound a bit harsh but the reality and honesty behind it are certainly there. Time and time again studies back you up on your discussion. I think the population control part of it would make many people feel like there were limits being put on the natural abilities of humans. I wish there were better decisions made in many situations. I enjoyed your response very much.
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
Your welcome! Freakonomics is a really neat way of looking at how human behavior and society effects not only the economy but also the crime rate and beyond. The writers do a great job of taking two very different examples and relating them to each other. For instance how Rowe vs Wade effected the crime rate almost 15 years later. I hope you get a chance to read it because it is one of my favorites and sounds right up your ally. I also love book recommendations and am hoping mylot conversations will lead me to some new authors.
• United States
26 Jan 11
I will definitely check that book out! I love book recommendations. I also enjoyed picking my brain to answer your question... thanks for making me think!
• Philippines
26 Jan 11
License for parenting? That's absurd. And if you don't have a license to be a parent then you're not allowed to take care of your child? What, does it also include training to be parents and all? I don't think this idea makes a lot of sense.
• Philippines
26 Jan 11
Oh okay. I see where you're coming from. Well, there are parenting seminars and trainings being held, I don't if there are in your country. Newbie parents can attend those to get a full grasp of what's about to come their way. I'm not a dad yet so I don't have a good idea of how it is to be one but I know for sure that it's tough. Attending those parenting classes really comes to mind whenever I think about getting married and all that's gonna happen in the future but I really can't see how parenting licenses will help me be a good parent. I'll just brag about it among friends.
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
Now this is the other side of my head speaking. I can absolutely see how absurd it sounds. In so many ways it makes no sense at all. I can see how it would not make any sense. All I really want is to see a better system for educating people about being parents. Not that everyone has to fit in the same mold necessarily but that people understand the basic skills of parenting before taking the babies home with them.
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
Too true, but bragging rights are always cool. There are a lot of seminars and trainings but I don't know that they reach everyone. I know for me there were only classes about Lamaze and childbirth and nursing at my hospital. I wish there were more options in my area. I have read a lot of parenting books and seem to have a good natural instinct. I know many who do not have any natural ability and rely only on the education. I highly suggest getting as much knowledge as possible when it comes to parenting, I don't think there can ever be too much.
@Strovek (868)
• Malaysia
26 Jan 11
Interesting concept but what are you going to do with "accidents"? How do you enforce the licensing, check on every parents door to door? Laws without enforcement are just wishes.
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
You have nine months from the time you are pregnant to get education. Nothing saying there would not be accidents but you can be responsible after an accident right? I am not positive about the enforcement but it would seem the department of health and human services in already at work on it. No, I certainly can't imagine going to the extreme of knocking on every door to find a crime. However, presenting a license at childbirth and providing some proof might not be a bad start. Maybe it could be offered as a course in schools, like a drivers permit? It could be a for-profit company that offers the classes at a top dollar, I have no idea where the market would go. I just find it so sad of how many parents do not have a basic understanding of parenting before they go home with a newborn baby. I just wish our society would focus on raising the next generations than it does on the fight between Brangelina.
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
You are very right, parenting is so much more and it does take a lifetime to work at it. I in no way wanted this post to seem like I am introducing some new policy. I think on both sides of this discussion and in no way feel passionate on either side more than the other. I don't know that having a license would make you a good parent, I just think there should be more qualification to being a parent than what there seems to be. I don't think having a license system would make all parents perfect or anything crazy. What would the course cover? I really don't know, it is an awful lot of material. I imagine for something like that to take off there would be some serious experts in the field to develop the coursework.
@Strovek (868)
• Malaysia
26 Jan 11
There are already free prenatal classes offered by the hospitals. But parenting is so much more than that. It is a life learning process. Just as in driving, having a driving license does not make you a good driver. So how would having a parenting license make you a good parent? Also, what would such a course you mention cover?
@murtaza45 (173)
• India
26 Jan 11
govt for 18 age for license for our student some other license to proper work for world to not to a license not me for not can for any india and othe place.so license very uses to any work for our immegetaitly me.i am mylot is friends now license to uses for any document to think for me.
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
I had a bit of a hard time understanding your thoughts here. Do you believe there should be licensing for parenting?
@lizmik143 (137)
• Philippines
26 Jan 11
I thought the license for parenting is funny and impossible. There are young people who aren't even ready to take parenthood but just want to explore. But then, the unexpected or the expected will happen. Some young people are still depending on their parents for tuition and allowances let alone milk and diapers for the baby. So what kind of parenting is that if those young people can't even support the new family. Some will not let the baby to stop them from having fun. And in my country, in cases when a girl got pregnant and the boy is not ready to marry the girl because they're still young, some will leave the baby to their parents as they continue schooling or looking for a job. The baby would become confused as to who is his/her true mother or father.
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
Very true, it is a funny and impossible task I am sure. The issues with not being able to afford a child are huge. It is so sad when a young person leaves an older adult with the task of raising a child. What country do you hail from? It is so sad when children get confused on pareting and who in fact the parent actually is.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
26 Jan 11
I do not like the idea of limiting the amount of children to the parents. That speaks to me of worshipping the earth and thinking the world is more important then people or animals are more important then people. I do think that young teenagers should be given a test to see if they can handle parenthood and that means just the boy and girl and the baby, no interference from the grandparents. I do not want to see grandparents raising children made by their children. By the way, potential adoptive parents even those in their 30s are given a test to see if they are able to raise children. I guess they esp. in the woman's case, do not have the 'love and sacrifice for the sake of your child' gene that birth parents are supposed to have. Besides with licensing there comes a problem. The person doing the exam may decide that because of the parent's political and religious views they should not be allowed children, or even if they are too blonde, too dark, too fat, etc. So only in the case of young teenagers, partially in older teenagers, but once reaching 18 no.
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
Your response was very interesting! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this discussion. I had no idea adoptive parents needed to take a test. That certainly is something I need to look into so I can learn more about that. I agree very much about the young teenagers. Also, I have been waiting for a comment on the parent's political and religious views. It would be difficult to come up with a testing system that does not include a specific groups believes!
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
26 Jan 11
seeing as how it is the kids who are born to parents who should not be parents are the ones to suffer the most, I think that there should be a class that you have to pass in order to have a child. I am saying this as an educated woman with a child. i know that it will never fly because reproduction is a personal matter, but I still beleive that we could solve a boatload of problems by having a license to have a child.
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
I agree much with your statements. Thank you for responding. I think many problems could be solved as well and would love to see more regulation but your right, it is tough to mess with personal matters. I think more classes should be available to parents and more people should take advantage of them. What do you do for work asyria? Just curious since we have the same thought process.
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
26 Jan 11
When I read your topic I assume to understand like this. Your trying to ask us why no license for being a parent - am I correct? As I know when a person or couple entering into marriage that is the effectivity of their license being parents to their children. In the case of children for flying to airplane that is SOP of airlines and airport to have not license but formal indorsement or authorization for allowing such children to board on that plane, for safety precaution... see you around
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
I am not positive that there should be a license for parenting or if it could be regulated at all. I just find it interested that we need licenses to do just about anything and we need to have instruction in certain fields of study. But, to be a parent you can just do it. What did you mean by the airplane comment? I am not sure what SOP stands for.
@mark98 (567)
• China
26 Jan 11
The way that some folks have babies when they cannot afford them,and without knowing who the fater is,perhaps that would be a good idea.Hell you have to take a test and have a license to drive a car.
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
I think with education about the facts of parenting, the true struggles parents go through, the patience needed to deal with children. I know it is a stretch to jump to a license but it seems something needs to be done.
@Bloonana (36)
• United States
25 Jan 11
Just making a law that people need a parenting license wouldn't stop them from having children. It's the same with driving, hunting, fishing, etc. Just because it's a law that you have to have a license to do something, doesn't mean that people are going to follow it. In addition, if a person accidentally gets pregnant and has a child, she really can't help that unless she aborts it, which, for some reason, people usually find wrong.
@jodylee (946)
• United States
26 Jan 11
Very good points. Laws certainly do not get carried out effectively at all times. There will always be those accidents too. More than anything I think parents should be given more education before having the children. Perhaps it would be better if you could get a break on your insurance if you had proven education on being a good parent. Kind of like getting a break on insurance for taking defensive driving courses.