How do you feel if your gf/wife/partner stares on other hot men out there?

@ally12 (1202)
Philippines
January 27, 2011 1:44am CST
I always have this issue with my husband who really really love his habit of staring at other pretty girls when we are out.In mall, restaurant, at parties, anywhere where their are probably pretty girls.what really pissed me off is he dont just look, or give a quick glance, but its a lingering stare..and what i hated was one time there was this woman whos with her husband and my so nice husband cant stop himself from staring on that woman. Many times i confronted him and told him that it makes me feel bad but he just told me he is not blind. oh yeah, fine. So here's the twist: what if its your girl/wife/partner are the ones who like it more on staring at other hot men out there what would you feel? Would it be fine to you?feel flattered and ignore her act? or you would feel insulted, jealous or mad? Just wanna know your POV..
1 person likes this
8 responses
@Octav1 (1419)
• Romania
27 Jan 11
I don't care, I know she loves me and she won't leave me for another guy. Anyway, she's not the type that throw glances to another men. That's why I love her so much! LOL
1 person likes this
@katcarneo (1433)
• Philippines
28 Jan 11
How true! When with girlfriends we look at guys for fun but when I'm with my boyfriend I don't seem to notice others anymore,
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
28 Jan 11
Thats true Karcarneo. I think women are more devoted than men?haha Im afraid I would get some negative responses from guys now.. but really I do appreciate tall not so dark and handsome guys but when im with my husband or even with my past bf's before I could'nt appreciate other men at all..its seems that my partner is the only good looking guy around.
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
27 Jan 11
I think thats how men are different from women.. we are not accustomed in checking out boys especially when we are with our partner.
1 person likes this
@khalida (1126)
• India
27 Jan 11
oh oh! i hate that habit. when a girl is beside a guy he better give her the due importance. . . specially when it is his girl or wife. well even though your husband or any other guy for that matter should probably drop that habit after marriage. whats the point when the wife dresses up for her guy and he looks at other girls? that can be quite pissing off for me.
1 person likes this
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
27 Jan 11
Thats how I find it too.. But I have found many sites already of women complaining from their husband/partner with such habit. I think most men are like that. Should I say insensitive of their behaviour? They see their action as just nothing but a simple gesture of appreciating beauty. But they dont know what is the impact on their partner.
1 person likes this
@khalida (1126)
• India
28 Jan 11
yes, i agree. probably they should be at least willing to come to an agreement that they wouldn't stare( looking is fine) at other girls or women with their partner beside them? i know some guys who had this policy with their gf but turns out they forget about it!? LOL :) i wonder if there is any psychological trick for this? ;)
@katcarneo (1433)
• Philippines
27 Jan 11
I think it's quite normal to look at other people, we can't help it. Most especially men, I think. I am well aware that when he is with his friend my man looks at other women all the time. The difference between him and your husband is when we're together, he tries not to do that, out of respect. Sometimes we both look at a beautiful person and compliment him/her together. Looking is okay, I guess, as long as he doesn't try to catch another woman's eye. That would be foul. My man appreciates it when other men look at me. He feels quite proud.
1 person likes this
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
27 Jan 11
Yes the keyword is respect. If staring cant be avoided at least it should be done in a way that your partner wont feel insulted. I do look and appreciate good looking men but not in a vulgar manner that can insult my husband's presence. I do even appreciate beautiful ladies.
1 person likes this
@katcarneo (1433)
• Philippines
28 Jan 11
Sam here, I appreciate beautiful women. Sometimes I even point them out to my boyfriend and he takes a look, and comments, and that's it, end of story.
• United States
27 Jan 11
I don't really get why it matters if either gender appreciates attractive people. I look at people all the time. I don't see what the big deal is.
1 person likes this
@coffeebreak (17798)
• United States
28 Jan 11
You married my husband too?!!! Mine is just like that too! Right in front of me he flirts, not just stares. I mean, while a waitress is serving...he is flirting and she flirts back as she knows she'll get a better tip if she does, and there I sit! And of course when she "waits" on us...she speaks to him, not me, never even looks at me. Everywhere we go it is like this. I hate it, I have told him many times I hate it and how rude and mean it is to me, but he don't care. He knows I hate it yet does it right in front of me anyway. This has been going on for 33 years. I'd say I'll do it back to him...but I don't see any good looking men much!! Good lookers....where are you when I need you?!!! So if you find a solution...please share!
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
28 Jan 11
@ coffebreak OMG! We almost have same husband. Is your husband has a son here in Philippines?lol. Cause they almost share the same genes. My husband flirted also right at my presence, they talked that as if I was just a ghost. Its really an adding insult to injury when its our own husband who facilitates the humiliation of other women on us as a woman and as a wife. I even thought several times to break even with him but tsk Im just not that kind of woman..if Ill do what he does and what those sl*tty women around does so what made me diffirent from them? I think we can do something much better than putting ourselves down to their level..? Let me give you my revised american idiom: If you cant beat em, dont join em. Instead get out of the ring and take some cappuccino. One thing more let those goodie goodie looking men drool on us and not us on them. I think thats a much sweeter revenge..and a pleasurable boost on our damaged self esteem.
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
28 Jan 11
@ khalida i think good looking men are easily taken as they are easily noticeable and palatable to many haha..
@khalida (1126)
• India
28 Jan 11
good looking men always seem to be less around in my city too. LOL! :)hey how about you do the same to your husband. flirt with someone who is not good looking, so what? you get to see how his reaction is to his own medicine right!??
1 person likes this
30 Jan 11
to my bf..for me staring, looking are okay, but eye to eye contact?? thats not good, coz lots of flirt girls out there........
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
30 Jan 11
Exactly ace. Coz if you try to have an eye to eye contact with people its like your wanting to send him/her a message and waiting for a response thru his/her eyes. Isnt it like that?
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
Yes its is..haha.. communication can be carried on even with out words utter. Action speaks louder than words..
@khalida (1126)
• India
2 Feb 11
I think eye contact will make the other person know that YOU are watching him or her cause you like the way they look right. Then that person can also look and encourage things further. Now that is very very Dangerous ally12
• United States
26 Feb 11
Hi ally, my ex-husband had complete and utter disrespect when it comes to this topic as he did not know how to simply look and or glance. He did not are that I was with him or not. I suppose I ha So for me I would d to experience that in order to be so very blessed with the man I live with now for the last 5 years. As he won't, as long as I am present, would even as much as glance. One of his finest qualities is that I am his priority and he diverts full and complete attention to em. Having had such a bad experience with my ex I sort of doubt that my boyfriend was too good to be true, but knock on wood to date nothing has changes and he forever has captured my heart but certainly has given me a lot to think about when it comes to trust. Although I understand that looking and glancing is a normal reaction both men and women do, I certainly would not appreciate hard stares and or disregard to the fact that I am standing there alongside. As I would not disrespect my partner in that manner. However, a causal conversion of how a person looks is completely understandable, it is the outright staring as if I did not exist that would truly get to me. lol.
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
26 Feb 11
Hello hwg! Well it is really true that its but normal to look or even appreciate the beauty of others but I think when your loved one is around respect has to be practiced. Im happy for you that you have found the man that you truly deserved. And I think you dont have to be worried of your boyfriend as he and your ex are absolute different people.
• India
28 Jan 11
hiii...most of the guys are like that only...they are hurting us by looking at other girls...nothing wrong in that when we do the same to them....i will stare at other to make him understand our feelings.
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
28 Jan 11
Yes most of the time we couldnt see our spots unless we face the mirror. So let ourselves be the mirror of our spouses.
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
30 Jan 11
No.. what i mean is just the reverse of dont do unto others what you dont want others to do unto you. if our husbands dont understand us why we feel so disgusted with their staring habit then we can do it too so to let our husbands feel and understand how we feel everytime they do it.
@khalida (1126)
• India
30 Jan 11
coffee break, give him the taste of his own medicine is what she says? :)but i guess, there aren't too many good looking men for that and of course we cant lower our taste or standards just to make the husband mad right!?