My Family
@crib4mythoughts (115)
January 27, 2011 9:16am CST
I am living away from my parents for about 10 years now. I never realized that they were having a problem. We were a happy family before. I am now 32 years old and have a family of my own. When I was still single I always visit my parents. I know that they are okay then.
However, my mom confided me few years ago that she and my father are having problems eversince we were young. I didn't know anything about it. All along I thought our family is doing good. Some of relatives are even envy with us because my siblings and I finished college. Now, they are constantly fighting over things that I don't know what. They are trying to recall all the fights that they had. What makes the fire bigger is our relatives who were envy to us telling lies to destroy my family.
I just sent email to my parents telling them that if they don't love each other anymore, it is okay if they will separate. We are already old and can understand things.
What will you do if you have this kind of problem?
3 people like this
6 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
27 Jan 11
Hi Crib,
Sorry that your parents marriage seems to be falling apart. It sounds as if they were not happy for years but held it together in order to raise you kids together. Rather than face and perhaps solve issues, they swept them aside?? Regardless, if they are really so miserable with each other, it would be best for them to go seperate ways now that they don't have kids to distract them. It isn't healthy to be arguing and fighting all the time. And who knows...maybe they can work things out if they put a little distance between them. As for the rest of your family, they just need to keep out of it and not add to their troubles.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
27 Jan 11
Sounds as if she pretty much has her mind made up. There have probably been some hard feelings building up for far longer than you could realize. At this pointm, probably just needs to know that you support her choices. How's your dad taking it all?
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
28 Jan 11
You are right, he is still your father and from what you say, he was a good one. He obviously loved you kids a great deal. I know he hurt your mom and I get why they would lose a little respect there but I don't think it should be held against him by his kids. I could be wrong in my thinking but I really think the issues are between the two of them and don't really involve you kids so it should not affect their relationship with him. Hopefully they will come around and respect that he was a good father...just maybe not a very good husband.
1 person likes this
@crib4mythoughts (115)
•
27 Jan 11
Thanks sid556! I checked my pretty long email but still there was no response. I guess they will realize that what we wanted now is their own happiness. I called my mom a while ago and told her to be sweet again with my dad. However, she said that she can no longer do it. I felt sad but thankful that she is now telling it to me.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
29 Jan 11
In my opinion, it may be best if you call on all your siblings and go over to your parents house. Maybe you could all file a leave of absence on your jobs. hen all of you are there already , you could all have a heart to heart talk with your parents , to be able to pinpoint what the real problem is.
After hearing the problem, it would be best to hear both your parents' side and ask both of them if their relationship is already irreconcilable. From there, all of you could settle for what is best for your parents.
1 person likes this
@durgabala (1360)
• India
27 Jan 11
This is not the solution. Sorry to interfere, but u should try and see to solve the problem. all these years they were together or pretended may be for ur good. atleast they never made u feel uncomfortable till u were on ur own.
u can be a family again if all of u speak heart to heart and spend time together to make things.
some relatives are a pain. but what to do have to bear them.
I will surely talk face to face heart to heart before concluding on any decisions.
1 person likes this
@crib4mythoughts (115)
•
27 Jan 11
Thanks Durgabala! I will try to talk to them this March. I really want to do this to fix this problem.
1 person likes this
@FreebooterEST (71)
• Estonia
27 Jan 11
Yeah, if they really don't get along and don't love each other anymore, then it probably is for the best if they went their separate ways. Sticking together just for the habit is nonsense and is probably going to cause lots of grey hair and nervousness to both of your problems.
Relatives who tell lies about your family is another issue... I recon you should have a serious talk with them about that, cause this is just not normal...
@crib4mythoughts (115)
•
27 Jan 11
Thanks Freebooter for your response. I am not unhappy now because of what happened to my parents. I just want them to realize that their children are all grown up and could understand their decision.
I wish to talk to my relatives. My mother had talked to them many years ago because of that same issue. They want failure in our family. Though, they seemed not to be doing it but the discussion between my parents sometimes came from them.
1 person likes this
@FX777222999 (437)
• Philippines
27 Jan 11
Set a meeting with your parents and squarely ask them about their fights. Get to the point in asking and be firm with your words. Don't let them know that you devise a plan this way. Get whatever information to them, one by one, and then, face to face ask them truthfully. If on the other hand, they will tell lies, then, find another solution because you're the one who knows the attitude of your parents. Know the truth, and give solutions to the problem, together with your parents.
@crib4mythoughts (115)
•
27 Jan 11
Thanks for this. This is actually my plan however I will go home on March. I like to talk to them as soon as possible, reason why I sent email to them. When I asked them before about their problem they will just tell me that they are just like that. They fight then they will be okay eventually.
I know their problems from the start, however till now they haven't resolved it. That is why I asked them to have an ultimate decision about their relationship because we, their children are affected.
1 person likes this
@angelurmi (11)
• China
31 Jan 11
hye this is angel urmi ,
i am a m.b.b.s (3rd yr)student .in my family mom ,dad ,me and my little bro.my father is a police officer amd mom is a house wife .my bro he is in school .my uncle is one of best friend of me .oh i forget to tell u guys that i have a boyfriend .he is also a police officer .maybe we will get marry very soon . although i have a very small and happy family .and i love my mom dad very much .......
