Spying To Know If They Are Faithful And Loyal
By Secret
@IntrovertShy (2780)
Marikina, Philippines
January 27, 2011 2:12pm CST
I heard a DJ on a radio asking if to spy a partner is okay with them, so that they would know their partner if they're being faithful and loyal. I heard various response from the callers. Some said, spying was not good so it's not okay with them to do it. Others said, spying was not good because spying means you do not have trust, so they would not do it. The DJ said, all the callers were good and nice especially of how they response to the question. Now, if I were them, I tell DJ that it's okay with me to spy, so as to be sure that he's loyal and faithful to me. Most people would say, spying a partner is bad.
Why is it to spy someone you love is bad? Even if you have this trust, for me, it is still good to see your partner of what he or she is doing because to see it with our own eyes is much better.
1 person likes this
10 responses
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
28 Jan 11
I would never spy on my partner because the foundation of a good relationship should be based on trust. Open communication can help you build that trust, if you don' trust each other then what's the use of staying in a relationship. I respect my husband's privacy and i don't even open his cellphone if he wont' request me to do so. I don't check who are the people in his contact list and i don't check to whom is he texting to. He respects my privacy too and with that we have full trust with each other. How would you feel if your partner would spy on you? You would feel betrayed and you will think that he doesn't trust you at all. It's painful.
@IntrovertShy (2780)
• Marikina, Philippines
29 Jan 11
Ah. How would I feel if he would spy on me? I would not feel betrayed. It is okay with me, because what he did made me realized that he loves me more than anything in the whole world. If my boyfriend did this to me, the only thing that comes to my mind is that he loves me so much and that he's afraid of losing me. He's afraid that I might be gone at his sight and I am glad that he's too much dependent on me. I understand his feelings and what I perceive on him is a boyfriend that is faithful and loyal to me besides, he would not find anything from me, so it's okay with me as long as it's harmless, but if I have something to hide from him which is bad and I have this another boyfriend and then, he spied on me, of course, I would be furious. I do not care if he has this trust or not as long as there is a saying "action speaks louder than words" then, may be I would not be insecure anymore. I think, there is no need to be paranoid and I would be totally secure in our relationship, but I guess, guys rarely do that. I am introvert and shy and I have less friends and it is difficult for me to read what is inside the people's mind so, I am just relying on the people's "action". Trust is okay, but it is a risk for me because the word trust means it is either "true" or "false" and I am so afraid to take that risk. 
@desertsong (94)
• Philippines
29 Jan 11
I definitely aGREE with you! It's not that I don't trust my partner because I spy on him. I trust him, it's just that men aren't perfect individuals, and no matter how much weight you put on the word trust, men always be men. And you can never be sure of the things that they do especially when they are out drinking with friends. Temptation will always climb its way to your relationship and to be sure that it doesn't happen, you can never be sure unless you see it for yourself. To rid yourself of all the worries that your husband is not doing some monkey business, I guess spying on husbands is a good alternative. I have done it once in our relationship when we were still starting. And I caught him cheating on me. So you see, no mater how much you trust that individual, there will always be room for temptation.
@SimpleBB (1329)
• Philippines
28 Jan 11
Spying is definitely distrusting someone. For me, if I someone spying on me, I would feel bad for this person could not trust me. There might be some people who are disloyal, but not all are the same. There are things that good for some but the worst for others. People varies in so many ways. Some people got hurt knowing someone could not trust them and sometimes makes them to have an idea of doing things which we never know they don't have in mind for what we have done. Let's say, just to hurt us back for distrusting them.
There's always positive and negative effects. There might be some people, after knowing their partners are spying, they would response positively for they really love you, they will assure you that he/she would never do anything that could hurt you, but what about the negative effect to others? Maybe they would say "Ok, you could not trust me?, I'll do what you expect of me. You're the one who put that idea of cheating you in mind, not me."
See? so before taking such steps, buy time to decide if it would be good to a relationship or might get it worst? Well, as I have said, people varies in many things. Good luck and happy mylotting.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
28 Jan 11
I don't want to feel that I have to check up on my partner. Where is the trust in the relationship when it comes to this? You either believe in your partner's faithfulness to you or you don't. @magenn (78)
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28 Jan 11
For me it depends on the situation if it needs to spy then spy is good but if you think she/he is doing well and good I mean she/he is honest then whats the used to spy? In my case if my husband spy me then I'm not doing bad I really feel it bad cause I feel he has no trust to me but if I'm doing bad ( of course we know that we are doing bad)then I sense that my husband spy me then try not to be caught. So spy in some cases is good and there are some cases bad.
@celeste2224 (160)
• Philippines
28 Jan 11
I think that spying is in a way good and bad, its good when you feel that there's something going on,for women we have so-called intuition so that you know if he is cheating. In a way bad when you are just being paranoid yourself, trust is a major factor in a relationship. So i think it depends why you are spying on him/her.
@sublime03 (2339)
• Philippines
28 Jan 11
Spying is definitely not a good thing to do. But for a lot of people who does not trust their partner, there is a kind of spying that will just keep your mind off on him doing something you suspect him doing. Everybody have done the spying at one point on their relationship and for me, I think it is okay for as long as it isn't prying so much on their life but just basic stuff. Of course we should all trust our partners no matter what but if it will stop you from thinking of things then why not go and spy in its minimal form.
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
27 Jan 11
The thing about spying is that most of the time, you will find what you were looking for. Many people don't want to spy because they don't want to face what they may find. I don't spy because if i think she is cheating, i will simply leave her. I am getting to old for those games. But i think spying is a good way to justify what you feel. It will teach you to trust your gut feelings. Or what you women call "women's intuition"
@EdnaReyes (2622)
• Philippines
28 Jan 11
What I don't know won't hurt me, this is my answer. It's not morally good to spy on with other people. If he's cheating, then it's his lost not mine. He's not only fooling me but also himself. I will hold my trust in him, if can't be faithful, no matter how much he hide it from me, the truth has it's way of getting out.
@raheemsupercool (81)
• United States
28 Jan 11
If you feel that you need to spy on someone to see if they are loyal then the relationship is bad. This means you dont know that person well enough to know if they would cheat on you or not. but if you both love and trust each other the need to spy wouldn't be there.
