Do you Really have to give up something to be truly committed to someone?

To put it simply: F*ck no! Commitment should never have anything to do with giving up your freedom or compromising who you are. The only thing it can be likened to is that two people are two individuals with two different backgrounds, two different personalities and two different ways of living. Melding these two lives into a cohesive lifestyle almost always takes at least a little give-and-take. A lot of satire, myths and overall social stereotypes like to extremely exaggerate this into an overall belief that commitment/marriage somehow ends your life. Which then, in turn, makes a lot of people believe that's what marriage has to be like, try to make their lives conform to the stereotype and usually end up miserable.

Then I thought Do people Really think they have to give up something to be committed? Am I just very lucky? You know a long time ago I would have said yes, but I live with my boyfriend now for five years and yes we are committed we have so much respect for one another that we have complete understanding that we are free to think on our own. Yes we do share our thoughts but I do not have to make a decision because I know he does or does not like something and same with him. He and I have so much mutual respect that we trust one another that our own individual decisions would please one another. So in answer to your questions, no I did not have to give up anything, to be in my commitment and no I am not lucky as I find that I am blessed with his love.

A relationship is successful if there is faith,trust and complete understanding between the two partners. Sacrifice also is a part of the understanding but not at the cost of the relationship or if it produces any illwill between the two. When you commit yourself to any relationship then there is always a tacit understanding between you and your partner and agreement that whatever happens between the two there should be a discussion to wean away all the wrongs and misunderstandings and bring it to an even keel.Sometimes one has to make small sacrifices to restore the goodwill between the two,which i feel is better than let the misunderstanding grow to such a deep level that the relationship comes to an unsavoury end.In your case it is good that you and your partner understand each other and this quality will make your relationship and the bond between both that much stronger.

I think that the main thing that we must give up if we are truly committed is being single. We need to give up our single lifestyle and begin to adapt to a committed lifestyle. It does not mean that we have to give up things that interest us nor should we expect our partner to do so. Part of being in a committed lifestyle is supporting and encouraging your partner's individuality.

I think it is about making compromises rather than giving up something for the guy.People come into our lives for different reasons and it is up to us to gauge the reasons why they are in our lives.Is it to push us with our goals?Is it to make us passive and be unproductive with our lives?or maybe is it to make us aware the options we have in life? Commitment is a life long process and it is a give and take relationship and it is not about giving up something.

To be truly committed to someone, there is no need to give something up for the other person. Two people can be committed to each other and still have freedom. Commitment is about compromise to build something stronger. You dont have to give up something completely like sports, but you can play sports or watch sports less than usual so that you can be with your partner more.

I don't think, we need to give up something for being committed to someone... Unfortunately there are some people who want their partners to give up something because they don't like it.. That is crazy and awful.. That is the surest way to break that relationship... You are lucky, but not just that.. You are understanding too... And that is really good... Keep it up...

well it depends, if that is some kind of bad vice then yes you have to give up. but if it something like leisure or something like you want to do alone or with friends... those things can be done with adjustments and schedule. my wife still have time to go out with her friends while me and my son are at home. or we go with my wife and we just go seperate ways then go home again together. you can still be free even your are committed it all depends on what freedom they are talking about.

If you FEEL you are giving up things, ie making a sacrifice you don't want to, then something isn't right about your commitment. Other people may think you're giving up things too, but if it doesn't FEEL that way to you, then you aren't. I hear people talk about how having a family is a sacrifice, being a parent is a sacrifice, you have to give up all your free time, etc. To me, all that is false. From the outside it may LOOK that way but it doesn't FEEL that way. As a side note, if you find you HAVE given up things that you didn't want to, or your other half EXPECTS you to, that's at least a yellow flag, proceed at your own risk. It's much harder to get out of something after you've committed than it is to avoid it before you make the commitment.

Some people do think that. I haven't had to give up anything either and I know that I am very lucky. I have friends that have given up careers and even hobbies. They were happy to do it though..at least for now.

in establishing and running a relationship indeed must need a commitment which may might eliminate some the principles of freedom, but that's will comparable and in line with what we get from relationships that we build. Sacrifice to give something of value in a relationship, as long as no harm yourself, for me is a matter of absolute and also as respect for the meaning of the relationship itself

I don't think love or marriage has anything to do with giving up something, or anything. I think if ever a couple is willing to take the next step and get married, then they must have known each other well enough not to compromise on their values or beliefs. Even if it meant not getting married in the first place.

Hi Sarah, Love never meant that you change yourself to get loved... it was that then it was not love but something else. But yes, once you start together in due course of time you do(not necessarily) things that would bring happiness to your partner and it is normal in many relationships so nothing special about the kind of love or relation you mention.

Why would I give up something for me to marry my guy? That's practically a no no to me. I am about to be married and I think I have never given up something that i want in life for him. I still do things I like and he does the same. I play pc games a lot and so does he, so there are times that we are both tied up to our computers and that is ok for both of us. I think that if you give up something or stop doing the things that you like because you want to stay committed to your guy would be pretending that you both are ok, but later in the long run, you will just end up being miserable. But of course, once you are married, there would obviously be changes. You can still do things that you like but there will eventually be limits. Of course, you will be having a new set of responsibilties and it's not all the time that you can do things that you like because you will be tied up to a lot of things. So it's just a matter of adapting to chnages but never giving up on other things that matters to you.

NO YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GIVE UP WHAT YOU LOVE TO BE MARRIED!!! I'm not shouting at you, I'm shouting at the idiots who say you do. LOL Take it from a MARRIED FEMINIST. My husband and I both wanted someone who liked the same stuff. One minor exception in this relationship is that he likes a lot of science fiction movies, and I can not take the loud noses and flashes of the special effects. Simple! Subscribe to Netflix, and he can watch whatever he wants, when I'm out of the house. :) I spend a couple of hours a day at the coffee shop. This is something I did long before I met him, and something I will continue to do. I spend my own money when I am there, and enjoy the change of scenery. This also gives him the house to himself for a few hours, so he can watch his loud annoying programs. :) It just happened to work out. Of course we had to find a place to love. I've lived here in Guelph all my life but my husband has moved all over the United States and Canada. I tried Arizona for a while, he tried Guelph for a while, and we both decided that Guelph was best, not only because I've never moved in my life, but because where we were living in Az, was not half as convenient as a city I already knew like the back of my hand, that my husband had been to, and that had a wonderful transit system, and other features that would do well for a man going blind. He was not giving up living in the USA for me, he actually liked this area better!!!! We love the same foods, we love most of the same TV shows, about the only thing we disagree on are his sci-fi movies, and he knows that's not personal. I can't take the noise and the flashing. I would probably find them very interesting if it wasn't for the effects. You've been reading about our marriage on here for years, and once told me we had one of the best marriages you've ever seen. Just look at us, and you will know that if you find that one in a billion, you won't have to change a damn thing!!! As for your love of sports, you know how many guys out there would think that's just the best thing in the world? LOL You don't strike me as a pink and frilly girly-girl, and I can think of a hundred guys right now who'd probably love your address. hahahaha Walker and I both HATE sports with a passion. LOL We just can't get into them, and don't see the point. However, that's not to say that there aren't people out there like you who love them. Perhaps you'd be bored with all the foreign music we like. Would you honestly enjoy two hours of Serbian music, on our favourite radio show on Sunday afternoons? Even though we don't understand a word of it, we love it. Croatian, German, and Greek too. All on the same day. We don't go anywhere on Sundays, unless there's a radio tuned to that station. LOL That's us. That's not everybody, but that's us, and we're compatible. :)

I am sorry to say that I wouldn't give up something I loved to do for someone else..if they loved me they would respect the things that made me happy...if you have to give something up for some I think they must have low self esteem and are trying to get a boost by having someone make a choice.

I believe that when you are committed to someone, that feeling should speak for itself. You should not have to give up something to show your commitment. If someone truly cares for you, they would not ask you to give up something to prove it.

We should understand each others like dislike and passion to do something. If I want to do something and my partner does not like same thing, I am not willing to sacrifice my passion and partner cannot accept same thing for me. The only way is left, do not come together at all. I believe that one should be flexible about other interest and passion, that is good for both. I would love to support my partner's passion and expect similar from her . Thank You for sharing.

I think you should only give up something if it's hurting the other, for example, if you are doing some type of activity and you are neglecting them and forgetting them. That's when it becomes a problem. If it's the opposite of that, then I wouldn't even give it some thought.

I think if it is necessary, I can give up something to commit to my love. Because love is hard I think, two people with different backgrounds will probably have some different habits. It is reasonable that some of them may conflict with each other. So, I think if there are conflicts, compromise is a must for both of them. And if there is a true love, compromise some little things is a very easy thing to do. Besides, you are lucky that you met your love and you don't have to give up something to commit him. Congratulations!