Depression in the Household

If he is depressed he should go see a doctor and get help. Sometimes it is hard to admit it. My husband and I were both depressed. We both lost a close family member just 4 months apart. We were only 18 at the time and it was hard to handle. We slowly got worse and worse as life got harder and harder with kids and bills and work stress. It majorly affected our marriage to the point we were separated. We both went to the doctor and got on meds and it helped. We are slowly starting to put our lives back together. I took care of my kids, but when they didn't want something I sat in front of the computer all day long. In my head I wanted so badly to be this great housewife and get the house clean and had a plan to do it, but I couldn't get my body to function. I would sit at the computer and the day would go by and I wouldn't realize it. I started not liking anything in my life and felt like I was wasting away. Your sister needs to talk to him and ask him to go to the doctor and get on something. It affects the whole family when someone is depressed. He should do it for his wife and his kids. I resisted for so long because I was embarrassed that I needed medication to act right.

Quite difficult to handle indeed as unless he recognizes that he is depressed he is feeling like the whole world is not advising him but rather criticizing him. The only way I feel anything will get to him will be to speak to him not when he is playing his game and or going through fits but rather calmly and explaining that he needs to get some help and that you all are willing to be there for him as it is unhealthy for him to be going through this. Best of luck to you all and your brother.

At this point, I don't know how much more you can do since your sister seems to be enabling her husband's negative behavior. Even if she talked to him, I don't know what good it would do since he seems to be perfectly comfortable with what he is doing. I'd say the ball lies in her court as to whether she wants to keep on living with someone who behaves like that. Until he acknowledges that something needs to be changed with himself, it will never happen.

hi there. definitely you should not just let him be that way. why? because as you have said, he is a father of 4 kids! and he should be responsible enough for that! first of all he's not a real man i must say, because he does not know how to handle and face problems, and most of all he does not know how to discipline himself! what would he do if he lost his job because of his laziness and irresponsibility? he's not the only one who would suffer the consequence but also his family! you'd better talk to him properly, tell him frankly of what might be the consequence. if there's a problem and he admits it, let him feel that both you and your sister are there for him and that he would not need to act stupid like that. tell him to be a man enough and to face every obstacle, for the sake of his family. see you around!

More than 'just let it be,' you should expect your loved one to feel as Awesome as you are unto them!

Hi, your brother in law is showing some of the classic symptoms of depression--isolation,comfort eating, irritable and an inability to cope.Please also note these symptoms could be indicators of other problems. However everybody needs to start somewhere and the first step would be to eliminate or confirm that it is depression. I would suggest gentle coaxing to get him to attend a doctor. Remember many people feel that depression is a sign of weakness and are ashamed. Tread slowly and gently. For your sister i would recommend learning about depression as it will help her to deal with the situation as it must be extremely stressful for her. Depression is a fairly serious illness and untreated depression will create havoc in the life of the patient and his family. Your brother in law, sister and children need plenty of support at this time. Hope it works out ok for them