Healing old family wounds.
By Pose123
@Pose123 (21635)
Canada
January 30, 2011 11:22am CST
Does your family have old wounds? If so you may have the opportunity to work on healing those old patterns. Making a decision to try often makes us feel more compassionate toward our loved ones. The genuine emotions we have at such a time, might be the result of our understanding that no one in life is perfect and that all of us even our loved ones are capable of making mistakes. Maybe we will find that this is a good time to become aware of our role in our family dynamics. Even though thinking about our part in our interactions can be uncomfortable,it is something that we need to do. Making the move to understand the ways in which we relate to our loved ones can not only bring a deeper level of awareness to our relationship but might also foster a greater level of trust between you.
True healing comes from our being able to take responsibility for what we bring to the relationship. If we are able to step back and see where we have gone wrong, then we may be more able to be more empathetic toward others when they do things that we might not approve of or that hurt us. It is this awareness that allows us to give pure and unconditional support to our loved ones. Knowing how your family patterns have emerged will make us more forgiving of ourselves and our loved ones. Do you agree that we all have a role to play in bringing about a reconciliation?
2 people like this
8 responses
@savypat (20216)
• United States
30 Jan 11
For many years I have been the peacemaker within the family, but I have learned that this is an impossible job. Family relationships are so much more involved then other interactions. Most of it is miscommunication added to emotions left from childhood. True forgivness is rare, but petty arguements and jealous feelings remain. Adults are often unaware that their responses toward their relatives can be based on rememberd situations when they were children. Each life we are born into families which force us into interactions with others, there are many lessons to be learned from these relationships. Believe me the peacemaker has a thankless job within the family.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
4 Feb 11
Hi savypat, Thank you for sharing this but I think that everyone needs to do their part. As you say it isn't easy being a peacemaker. Although grown up in body and in years, there are still many who remember petty little things from childhood. I don't think that I have anything left from childhood, but forty-three years ago when I was just 28, a person deliberately set out to hurt me, in fact make a few months very difficult for me. I have tried to forgive this person but it seems that I can't forget it and I really want to. If one is not able to forget, I'm not sure if they have truly forgiven. I'm sure we all have our problems, some just let it bother them more than others. Blessings.
@zweeb82 (5653)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 11
Oh yes we definitely do. Misunderstandings are always bound to happen especially with different character & behavioral patterns. Every one is made unique so sometimes we might come across to others not the way they expect & vice-versa. Talking is an art - tactfulness is the key
And it sure takes humility for one to admit one's mistakes. To err is human, to forgive divine
And it sure takes humility for one to admit one's mistakes. To err is human, to forgive divine1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
30 Jan 11
Yes....my sister and I had a falling out. I had 50 years of pent up emotions I had stored away and I blew one day. We didn't talk to each other for a year...I was the one who made the first step to talk to her again...now things are going along fine...but she is much more careful about what she says and does to me. I used to be fair game for all the things she didn't like about her life!
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
31 Jan 11
Old wounds in a family sometimes take the longest time to heal. some family members are so hurt and betrayed by another, they can't get past the pain. forgiveness seems to be the hardest word in some families. @thirupathi1 (4)
• India
31 Jan 11
I am having lots of old wounds in the past for my family. But these wounds also rectify our mistakes and it will guide our future life. So we have to take lessons from the past mistake and we will run our family for the future happenings. So this is Gods Grace and this will guide us for our better life. All of us will take lessons from the wounds and further enhance our life and further use these wounds for the future life
1 person likes this
@DoctorDidi (7018)
• India
30 Jan 11
I have no such experience in personal life but I believe that time is the best healer, so I always advise to give enough time and the wound will heal itself.
1 person likes this
