Would You Date a Woman Who Makes More Money Than You??
By jellymonty
@jellymonty (2352)
January 31, 2011 9:37pm CST
It's been a while since I've been here, so I decided to pop back for a bit and see what I've been missing!!(hope not too much) Anyway I have a bit of a Dilemma which I would like you guys to help me out with...
I'm in a relationship with guy, have been for just over a year. I'm fortunate enough to have my own business (web design & I also work as financial consultant). My guy was sales Manager at an electronics shop but he recently got laid off work.
When we met he was well aware that I made more money than him and he seemed ok with it but recently his true colours are now showing. He proposed to me back in September which I said yes to and it was all good. He lives in my house with me but now he wants me to sell my house so that he should buy another house that we should both live in. He also insists that I quit my job and sell my business because he wants to start a family with me and insists he wants a full time housewife.
I also own two cars and a motor bike and recently I scored a big deal in securing the redevelopment of one major company's website which means a whole lot of work and yes I will get paid really handsomely for a job well done. Now my guy wants me to turn down this job and sell my two lovely cars (BMW and Ford Focus). He drives a run down Mazzarati and most of the time uses my BMW.
This has caused a big rift in our relationship and I've told him plain straight I'm not giving up my hard earned sweat for anything. What once used to be a sweet lovely guy has turned into a complete moron and all of a sudden he's jealous of anything about me.
Then one day I overheard him talking on the phone with one of his mates and he mentioned that it sickens him that I make more money than him and couldn't stand living in my house any more because I wear the pants and there's nothing he can do about it. He also said he is fed up of "living of my pocket" since he's struggling to get a job. I told him not to worry because he actually doesn't need to work as my income can supplement us both.
Now I though this is a new century where things like this don't matter as much but clearly it does to him. I do love him a lot but I've told him there's no way in hell I'm giving up what I have worked so hard and long for just because his ego seems bruised...
So my question to you guys is this.... would it be a problem for you if your woman made more money than you???
1 person likes this
11 responses
@Milkypink26 (324)
• Philippines
1 Feb 11
I'm might be somehow can relate to your story but not with the car and other stuffs just with the "paid really handsomely". Lol. I bet it is all well known that the guy should have been financing a relationship/family, but now a days it has been changed. We are more on a 50-50 situation but in your case that he doesn't have a job yet I guess that bothers him a lot. Pressure on his part that he is not the one supporting you and that he depends on you and that he is having hard time getting a job. You might be right about his ego.
My bf and I are sharing whatever we have, if I need help he's there if he needs help I'm willing to help. He has been supporting me all the way which is a good thing about him though sometimes he can so envious about my job. And he is always thinking if he would be able to support a family of his own with the money that he earns. I would always explain that I am here to help, its not just about him or me, but its should be about us.
I don't think as well that it is a problem if a woman earns more than a man. There are some man who stays at home and take care of their children while the mother is not around because of work. Nowadays that life is not as easy as it seems we should be supporting each other.
I also think that you shouldn't let go of the things that you've earned. I bet it was already there before he came into your life.
Hope all gets well on your part! :)
@jellymonty (2352)
•
1 Feb 11
Yes Milk I had my business and my job before I met him... I've tried to be reasonable with him, even got him a job through one of my contacts but he turned it down because he said "you think you're better than me" which is absolute bull.
My friends have been encouraging me to dump him and I would have but I do love him, but he just wont even reason with me because he's so angry and frustrated.
1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
1 Feb 11
There's actually one mylotter here once revealed that she does all the work and her hubby stays home. trouble is that's where the insecurity increases on the man because sometimes he gets suspecious or unreasonably jealous of his wifes work which can misinterpret her contacts as contact flings
.
.2 people like this
@Milkypink26 (324)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
Hi Letran! Thanks for the comment.
I understand what you've said, I'm not sure with those kind of case.
Sometimes I just can't understand man which includes my bf. Lol.
@Jelly: If that's the case, I wouldn't give up the things that I've earned.
He should have known the upcoming situation before he decided to proposed to you.
Guess, you would have to wait till you're really had enough of him before letting go. Some men are just physically strong but emotionally weak sometimes they don't think straight that much.
Hope everything will be fine.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
1 Feb 11
Hiya, I've been around some, just not as much as usual....
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
1 Feb 11
My girlfriend has a job and I'm still in school although I'm older than her. I don't really mind this but I am well aware, especially by culture that the male is the one required to be supporting a relationship financially, but what really bothers me is the way our family, especially hers, would see me. I don't want to be dependent all my life. I do have side businesses which makes enough but in our place having a diploma is something that really matters to most. I feel bad about myself for this, but I don't make it a big deal in our relationship. I think that you should really try to talk this over with your partner and make him see the things in a bigger picture. It is very hard indeed for him to accept this but if he is practical then he should realize it soon. There are probably factors around him that makes him act the way he is, like friends, peers, parents, etc. Find out what and try to make him listen to you more. I hate seeing a good relationship go bad over money matters. Good luck to you!
1 person likes this
@jellymonty (2352)
•
1 Feb 11
Thanks Choy! I think he's just stressed that he's jobless. But good luck to you too and hopefully her family will come around xx
@bird123 (10643)
• United States
1 Feb 11
If my woman made more money than me, that would be great. Seems like there is another issue here. Shouldn't relationships be 50-50??? That means compromise not demands. My partner is free to do as she pleases. I support her efforts. I encourage her actions. I do not want her restricted in any way. Sure with two people there are conflicts, however open communication and a true desire to help the other makes meeting in the middle easy. Men have been trying to control women since the beginning of time. They don't realize that the very best relationships are 50-50.
1 person likes this
@jellymonty (2352)
•
1 Feb 11
You I know I thought it was 50-50 because am always open and I give him all the freedom he needs and I always insist on him being open and upfront. I think he may be still stuck in the past that its a man's responsibility to look after a woman and not the other way round. I even tried to hook him up with a job but he refused. I mean in the beginning he was nice and lovely but all of a sudden he wants to be a control freak. it annoys me that he hid his true colours all this time.
@simonelee (2715)
• China
1 Feb 11
Hello there. My partner was born with silver spoon so i have to deal with it. My partner earn than i do and most of the time my partner handle the expenses. I can't deny the fact the i get insecure of the situation cause i don't want my partner to shoulder everything, but what can i do? Even if i triple my job it doesn't change the fact. I have to accept it and understand our situation. What matter is we both love each. Its a matter of give and take.
In your case i guess you step on your partner's ego unintentionally. Guy's are naturally born with pride so it will be hard for your partner to accept the fact that you earn than him. Guys think that it's their obligation not yours. I guess your partner also miss interpreted your act so you have to take it slow or else he might think that your intentionally showing him that your in control and superior.
@jellymonty (2352)
•
1 Feb 11
Your right but I wish he made this clear when we first started dating as he didn't seem to have a problem with it initially. I've told him several times it doesn't matter to me whether he has a job or not as long as we love each other but clearly he still feels threatened and he doesn't need to be.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
1 Feb 11
Hello JellyMonty,
We're ALL PART OF THE SAME TEAM (BF/GF)
but there's a problem, men have pride of earning more so that he can make his girl friend proud of him. i am sure he is a bit insecure,depressed, and sad for the lost of the job. i think it's best if you comfort him on his lost of job. the loss of jobs makes any one can be negative
, don't let him reached the stage of completely becoming a moron as you have put it already.
Of course, If he really wants you to give up work, i can give advice to consider giving HIM up. because he doesn't respect your dream, job and career which you work so hard for.Frankly, in my shoes, i don't mind having a "sugar mom"
as long as i have work too.
but there's a problem, men have pride of earning more so that he can make his girl friend proud of him. i am sure he is a bit insecure,depressed, and sad for the lost of the job. i think it's best if you comfort him on his lost of job. the loss of jobs makes any one can be negative, don't let him reached the stage of completely becoming a moron as you have put it already.
Of course, If he really wants you to give up work, i can give advice to consider giving HIM up. because he doesn't respect your dream, job and career which you work so hard for.Frankly, in my shoes, i don't mind having a "sugar mom" as long as i have work too.@jellymonty (2352)
•
1 Feb 11
LOL Letran I sure wont mind being a sugar mommy
I have actually considered giving him up but I feel sorry for him and if I didn't love him then I would dumped him straight up. Cheers for making me laugh!
mommy
I have actually considered giving him up but I feel sorry for him and if I didn't love him then I would dumped him straight up. Cheers for making me laugh!
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
1 Feb 11
You mentioned that you love him a lot,, He is passing through a bad time, One good idea is to encourage him to find a job,,definitely he is frustrated knowing that you make the money and he is dependent .When he gets busy life will be better.
