Me, My Wife and My Step-Daughter
By Daddy Neil
@neildc (17239)
Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
February 1, 2011 11:53pm CST
When this step-daughter of mine stowed-away early last month, we thought she really had a plan of getting into marriage life. Thank goodness, she came home after two days. But she never showed and not even told her mom that she was sorry for what she did, for disobeying her not to go out without properly getting permission from her mom. That I feel she really lost respect to her mom and to me. You cannot even see in hers that she changed, something like, nothing happened. 
Her mom confiscated her phone, as punishment for what she did. But one time, wifey learned that she used her number to contact someone. So wifey got angry. She wanted to give her phone back but refused to, until she change her mind.
A kiss to the hand of the elders is just one way to show our respect. We do it every time we leave the house or when we come back home from school or from somewhere else. Simple as that. But she stopped doing this to me, since she came back from stowing. She did but I can count it with my fingers and no more. Is she trying to ignore me or she really don't have the respect anymore?
Now came an hour ago, we had a short conversation over lunch. I told wifey, if she doesn't want to give respect, then let her be. Wifey said no, you should let her kiss your hand when you come home and you should tell her to do that if she didn't. I said no, are we the one who should kneel down on her, remember, we are the parents? 
I know it's my wife who's being pinched between me and her daughter's misunderstanding, if we could call it that way. And that's the reason why I keep my silence, something like, leaving her daughter alone. And whatever I feel about her daughter, I keep it to myself (or tell myLot and post my feelings). But when I opened up the matter with her, it seems that I am the one who's at fault. Someone that needs counseling. 
Her mom confiscated her phone, as punishment for what she did. But one time, wifey learned that she used her number to contact someone. So wifey got angry. She wanted to give her phone back but refused to, until she change her mind.
A kiss to the hand of the elders is just one way to show our respect. We do it every time we leave the house or when we come back home from school or from somewhere else. Simple as that. But she stopped doing this to me, since she came back from stowing. She did but I can count it with my fingers and no more. Is she trying to ignore me or she really don't have the respect anymore?
Now came an hour ago, we had a short conversation over lunch. I told wifey, if she doesn't want to give respect, then let her be. Wifey said no, you should let her kiss your hand when you come home and you should tell her to do that if she didn't. I said no, are we the one who should kneel down on her, remember, we are the parents?
I know it's my wife who's being pinched between me and her daughter's misunderstanding, if we could call it that way. And that's the reason why I keep my silence, something like, leaving her daughter alone. And whatever I feel about her daughter, I keep it to myself (or tell myLot and post my feelings). But when I opened up the matter with her, it seems that I am the one who's at fault. Someone that needs counseling. 7 people like this
23 responses
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
hi sweetie. the girl is already 18 and she's really doing not just fine with her age.
if i could spunk her with your belt, i would but i couldn't.
@JOIEMARVIC (2335)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
Never resort to violence, specially with children, well, in her case she's not a child anymore. Just continue guiding her as much as your wife and you can. She may have issues in her life, things you do not know , that she may have a hard time struggling to straighten up.
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
2 Feb 11
Hi sweetie.
You cannot spank her at all.
At that age she will actually hit you.
I think it's time for madam to start looking after herself if she is finish with school, don't you think?
Joiemarvic, in today's life we have to be much firmer with the young one's.
They tend to get out of hand.
Her issues is probably wanting to live her own life, but she don't know where to start.
@MsPatriciaDV (636)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
It's sad to hear your story. I hope someday you and your step - daughter will get along. Maybe she doesn't really want her mother to have someone else --- you know, the usual dilemma. But it'll pass. Just show her that you care for her and her mom, and be patient in doing it. I guess you have to continue being sweet and nice to her until she realizes she's at fault.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
you know, her mom and i have been living together since she was still 2 years old. i saw her growing-up and grew-up with my love. i know she knows about it and she cannot deny it. i did what her father should have done for her as a father, for 15 long years.
@MsPatriciaDV (636)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
Wow. For that long? Wew.
Well, maybe you try to investigate. It might be someone's manipulating her. People around her could have influenced her to act like that from Day One.
Or she might be aware that she grew up with you, but she just can't accept that fact.
Or it could be too much of the telenovela thing. Tell her to stop watching TV. (just making you laugh)
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
could love be one reason for not showing respect or being disobedient?
when she stowed away, she never told us exactly where she went and slept for two nights. but we have a strong doubt that she went to her boyfriend that time.
or could be, that she already met with her biological father, that she changed treating me the way she treated me before?
but how come, she treats her mother like that too?
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
2 Feb 11
Not sure about kising the hand but I always kissed my hubby goodbye in the morning and hello when he got home at night. I always hugged my kids before bed time and I still do if I dont they come hgs me.
Theree has to be away to get thru and maybe family counseling would do it.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
kissing the hands of the elders is a way of showing respect. it's a filipino tradition. our parents were taught this way and so our parents taught us too. and actually, it's not really a kiss but to hold the elder's right hand and touch it to your forehead. isn't that simple?
@celticeagle (166761)
• Boise, Idaho
3 Feb 11
As far as what you have told us here you have done nothing to make her lose respect for you. I think she is angry and alittle afraid. Hopefully she knows she did wrong. I might ask her if there is something she has to say to you two. Her response will tell you where her head is at. I wouldn't tell her to kiss your hands. Respect should come from love and understanding not be demanded. You don't need to bow down to her but you do need to love her and not feel high aloft in the situation. You are right to take her phone. And remember, we as parents are only obligated to give our child housing, safety and food. Nothing more. The rest is icing on their cake as it were. How old is she? Was she old enough to go? Are you being too strinct? Perhaps you need to hug her and tell her you love her. Given time she may come back to you.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
3 Feb 11
i am not really after the kiss on hands but since it's a filipino tradition, we taught about it and tells them and remind them everytime that it's a way of showing respect. i also told them that it's disrespectful if you opt not to do it. (am i wrong with this?)
i agreed with the responsibilities i've taken over as their father. i loved them, find a better shelter for them, live my life for them, works hard night and day. sorry to say, but is it me that should be thinking about them when the two of them (i have actually two step children) have their own father? but i never told them that, i never said go back to their fathers. that's because i love them both as my own children. and i did and i do what a real father should do with their loved children.
18 should be acting as an adult already. but even if we allow her to live on her own or with whoever she wants to, we believe she will not succeed and don't want to blame herself afterwards.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (166761)
• Boise, Idaho
4 Feb 11
Maybe her disrespect comes from anger at her own mistake. I think someone needs to ggive an inch and communicate one way or the other.
@JOIEMARVIC (2335)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
How old is this step-daughter of yours? If she is in her teenage years, being angsty and suddenly "too emotional" seems to be becoming a trend among deliquent and troubled kids nowadays. In my opinion, in any relationship, communication is the best key. Why don't you and your daughter have a good heart to heart talk. Let her pour her heart out to you. Just listen. Consider her feelings first before yours. She may have issues with you, your wife or the situation she is in right now that you are not aware of. Try to be calm and understanding as much as you could. After her outpour of emotions, it's time for you to defend or explain your actions againts her behavior. Let her understand why you did such things as reactions for the things she did. If by some chance you have offended her or commited something to her that may have hurt her in a way that you are not aware of, be humble enough to say your apologies and be sure that she is aware that you really mean to get her forgiveness. I used to be a pain to my parents, but as time flies, I realized my mistakes and maturity and responsibility came to me in time. Parents can really do as much as they can, children are just torn between bending and breaking. Help her bend.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
i could be the one who's too emotional when it comes to this, joie. she's 18 and she should act like one. i know she's intelligent and so i hope she use her knowledge.
talking with her doesn't seem to useless as i think she really is decided with her plans or something. it could be that she needs one person to talk about her problem or what's with her. we tried to talk with her calmly but she never talk or not even listening, so what's the point?
that's the reason why i decided to keep silent.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
Not every one is Smart enough to use their emotions..some people can take time to act like one most specially "if they feel" they are neglected and they found someting they want outside family, i think she felt so distant when you were a bit busy with the kid. anyways, i hope she comes around some day.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
busy with the other kids? oh no, don't tell me she's jealous of zay. i know we had talked about it, she agreed and she's even the one who offered something or sacrifice something to give way for zay's operation.
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
In my opinion these are the things that you should do. It's your house therefore it has to be your way. But then there's the wife so that won't work i guess 
. An option is, you can do the "if you can't beat them, join them" thing. reach out to your daughter and talk to her more, ignoring her will only cause more distance between you two. I know this is easier said than done, especially if you're the silent type. Sometimes being too kind is not a good thing as it would only give the impression that you're a push over, if kids realize that you have that kind of personality then they won't hesitate to take advantage of it. Sometimes you have to assert authority to gain respect and not the other way around. Sometimes, kids need to fear you to command obedience.
. An option is, you can do the "if you can't beat them, join them" thing. reach out to your daughter and talk to her more, ignoring her will only cause more distance between you two. I know this is easier said than done, especially if you're the silent type. Sometimes being too kind is not a good thing as it would only give the impression that you're a push over, if kids realize that you have that kind of personality then they won't hesitate to take advantage of it. Sometimes you have to assert authority to gain respect and not the other way around. Sometimes, kids need to fear you to command obedience. @neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
3 Feb 11
i can't blame it all to my wife ybong. yes i believe, she have some mistakes but i can see it, and it's actually happening not only with this daughter. i tried to tell about this but she would only pass the task to me and will tell me to act as the boss. but when i start to do what i think is right, she will intervene and so i will not continue, keep me silent so no more arguing and no more trouble to arise. anyway, i will try to talk with my wife again and hopefully, this time will work. thank you so much my friend. you are really been so supportive of me.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
i have thought about that, the "if you can't beat them, join them" thing. but i am also afraid that she will only think i am that easy to fool. she already done that, she has a lot of lies lately. and even if she's already checked mate, she still try to get out of the situation, with the mother at her side. so where should i place myself?
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
3 Feb 11
I think the problem is your wife and not the daughter. If your wife doesn't want you to discipline her daughter then you make your wife accountable for all the faults of her daughter. You're still the boss, so you can tell your wife how things are suppose to be going in your household and she can tell her daughter about it. That way, you are making things happen but letting others do it for you. That's just like hitting two birds in one stone, your wife disciplines her own daughter, your daughter won't feel bad about you and you get your way in the end. You just have to talk with your wife about it.
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
3 Feb 11
I agree with you, If she doesn't like to do it since it is the tradition in the family then let it be. It will be very hard if it will be mandated to her, hard in your part since you will see that she was just forced to do so!
Anyway, as I follow the story, I know you've done your best to be the best and good father to him but there is something wrong with this kid, she might be longing for the care and love of her real father or whatever reason she has, let's hope she will realize sooner that she is hurting you and your wife who care and love her most!
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
3 Feb 11
that's right, i won't force her anymore. it's just that we don't want to be blamed by the elders that we are not teaching our children properly with good manners. in situations like these, we the parents are being blamed (di raw naturuan ng magulang).
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
2 Feb 11
Ah, the frustration of being a modern parent! I can well understand your frustrations in parenting a daughter that has gone wild. I have gone through that experience myself which is worse than what you are facing with your step-daughter. I adopted two daughters to add to my two biological sons. I've noticed from the start that the elder one is a bit stubborn and when I say one word she will have 10 words of answering me back. She would just leave the house without telling me where she goes. I send her to a convent so she can get some spiritual guidance but my plans for her backfired as she frequently climbed over the high walls of the hostel to sneak out. She hanged out with the wrong group of friends and got herself pregnant. She was expelled from the convent and come back home with a growing tummy. I have no choice but to allow the pregnancy to reach full term. When the baby was born I gave it up to a childless couple as I no longer want to enslave myself to take care of a baby. My daughter was just 14 then and her schooling has stopped temporarily and now staying at home but she has mellowed down a bit under my watchful eyes. Really you'd need not only eyes at the back of your head but twenty arms to control your kids all the time.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
i really can't imagine how these kids grew-up so stubborn. yes you are right, we need not only eyes at our back but twenty arms to control them at all times.
but how can you have a firm hands hand one resists? i mean, if i wanted to scold them, there's your spouse getting in between?
1 person likes this
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
that's one thing i have in mind. i try to ignore the girl and keep ignoring her. i may probably made a mistake when i opened the matter with my wife earlier. my fault? 
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
2 Feb 11
Hi Neildc,
I don't know why your step-daughter is suddenly being so disrespectful but I would guess that a lot of it is her age? I would not argue with her but I would have a talk with her and ask her what is going on that is causing her to act the way she is. She is living in your home and you are not being unreasonable to expect her to treat you and your wife with respect and to obey your rules. If she doesn't like the rules then she should move out on her own where she can set her own rules.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
3 Feb 11
i know that it's the right thing and that's all i wanted them to follow. well, there's nothing to lose for me, at least.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
2 Feb 11
Seems as if u have a big problem, neil. I'm afraid this girl's behavior is going to cause trouble between u & your wife & that may be what she's trying to do. If u don't teach your children to have respect for u when they are young they aren't going to respect anyone else as they get older. Some parents just can't see their childrens failings & that is not a good thing.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
2 Feb 11
Neild, i don't know what to tell u. It's hard raising kids & there are alot of rough spots to go through. I just wish u the best w/this.
@carol2532001 (467)
• Jamaica
2 Feb 11
Hello neildc, I have been reading the responses and I have seen some good advise and some pretty far fetched ones as well. At 14yrs, most kids will start to want to sort out their own identity, by the time she is 18 she should be fairly stable. The fact that she is not, that she is still angry with you and your wife, means that she has been unable to become her own person, she is no longer a child but perhaps is being treated like one. If this is so she will rebel, the anger she manifests when you speak to her show that she is angry with you for some reason that only the both of you can know of. Perhaps her mother might be able to give you some idea of what is wrong as you say she intervenes when you speak to your daughter. You need to examine your actions, how you speak to her, how you behave towards her, her reaction to you over the years, when things started to go wrong and what triggered her reaction. She is no longer communicating with you so you will have to find a method of communicating with her and the only way to do this is to examine your methods and change them, or you will lose her. She has already run away once, she will do it again. And the next time she might not come back. You need to take action now and correct anything that you have been doing that angers her. It is sometimes very hard for someone to find the fault within them self, but for her sake you will have to do it. Talk to your wife, don't get angry with whatever she says and act on her suggestions for your daughters sake.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
3 Feb 11
i could be one of fault but how can i try to correct that mistake if none of them cooperate? i wanted to talk with the both of them but both of them start with their high voices. so what i did and continue to do is to ignore her, keep my mouth shut most of the time. i stopped talking about the daughter. i don't want to create some more misunderstanding and that's all that i can think of. anyway, i'll take your advice and will think about this over. thank you so much.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
2 Feb 11
When children are pushing away from their family it's a very difficult time for all concerned. I think you are wise to say as little as possible, a man getting beween two women is a nightmare. Just stay kind and stay cool, let the emotion float around you and do what is needed. Remember after this girl is gone you still want to keep your wife. Keep your goals in mind. Blessings.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
3 Feb 11
staying kind and cool is really what i am trying to do now. of course, i do not own her and anytime she can go. but me and my wife have both of us.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
3 Feb 11
hello neil,
The lesser part on you is she's your step-daughter,the worst part in me is..is my son-is my real son.
If your step-daughter is not showing a full respect in you,it's a 50-50 understandable.
But with my son...it's a -01% 
.
I am ignoring my son too,as if he never exists in the house,i am fed up.
I've done my part,forgive me God,but i am really two hands up...
ugh...i am sick of being a mother to him....
.
I am ignoring my son too,as if he never exists in the house,i am fed up.
I've done my part,forgive me God,but i am really two hands up...
ugh...i am sick of being a mother to him....
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
3 Feb 11
i can understand the weigh of the situations we are in, sister. with her, i have to think twice or even more before i have to act on their misbehavior. but when it's trisha or patrick or zayzay, no way. they have to follow my orders and not even pat can intervene. maybe this is the reason or one of the reasons why step daughter acts the way she is acting right now.
and i feel for you sis. i know how hard it is to raise children, alone. that's one of the reasons, again, why me and Pat crossed path. although it's accidental, but there it is, she needed me and i needed her when we were alone and we need the help of each other to raise our kids.
actually, it worked well, initially, during the times our teens were still kids. but now that they are teens, well, i don't know. very confusing.
but please do not give up. what we are friends here if we will surrender that easily. can't you see how you and all other friends here, helped me and gave me strength, encouragement, etc. when we were down with zayzay's surgery?
wake up sis, i know you can and do not surrender.
but please do not give up. what we are friends here if we will surrender that easily. can't you see how you and all other friends here, helped me and gave me strength, encouragement, etc. when we were down with zayzay's surgery?
wake up sis, i know you can and do not surrender.1 person likes this
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
kuya neil,
This is so sad you've been like a real father to her since she was a child but what make her changed? for sure there was a reason why she is being a rebel with you and with wifey hope you can settle this issue if she don't want to respect you as a step father at least respect you as a person you deserve to be respected.
I know you can resolve this you've been with lot of trials in your life this issue will be settle just have faith.
kisses to zay and ate pat
happy posting
happy posting
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
if she has a reason, i hope she will take some time to talk it over with us. not to keep silent when are ask her or will look at you angrily or something like that. i hope this will be resolved in no time.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
yes honey, i hope it will not be too late for her to realize her mistakes.
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
some people choose to keep their mouth shut rather to speak at all but in the time that they are really piss off they are going to say something but i hope it will not come to that point, later one she will realize her fault hope it will not be too late.
@anne25penn (3305)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
It seems that your step daughter is confused right now. Yes, she may be a bit rebellious. But think of the time when you were a teenager and it seems that everything you ever did, your parent found some kind of fault. I know its hard being a parent, but as children we are also having troubles trying to let our parents understand what we want and what we feel. I admire you for your silence and not butting in their quarrel.
As for the giving of respect, don't look at it as if your step daughter is locking horns with you. Give her the benefit of the doubt that right now she is also feeling awkward after the stow away incident that it seems nothing she is ever doing at home is right. If she is doing it, but in a lesser degree, she may be trying to find her comfort zone again with the family. She knows that she is being punished. And nothing more can hurt her if everything that she does is being magnified. I wish you well that your relations will improve over the next few weeks.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
how can we know about her problem if she doesn't want to talk with us or just talk with us calmly. you started talking to her and she will raise her voice immediately or she will answer in silence.
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
Oh my dear friend, I felt bad reading this post. I am still single and doesn't know how it feels to be handling situations like that. I am a daughter, but I never showed disrespect to my folks like that. I also cannot feel what's your step-daughter been thinking about why she has to be so rebellious like that.
What I am sure of is that the behavior she has now is something that grew from the past. I hope you don't mind asking you about the cause of such coldness of your step-daughter to you? That is what I think that we need to deal in right now to put an end of such gap.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
yeah, i really feel so bad about this. i even left home this afternoon after lunch time with hurt feeling in my heart. when you know there is someone caught between these two hot and burning stones, which is my wife. i feel so bad when she feels bad too. and one thing i don't want to see her is to get angry. i want her to always feel good and happy. but what can i do with this situation when i cannot do something. so i just have to keep my silence.
i had been one rebellious son but i never lost respect with my parents.
how can we know her reasons when she doesn't want to talk. or when she talks, she talks with authority, in high voice too.
you know, when our parents have to call us, we will respond with "yes mother" or "yes father" or "po" and "opo". since we are in the bisayas, people here never taught of the "po" and "opo" but simply "ma?" or "pa?" when being called. but this girl is different. she will answer, "O?!" only and in higher pitch.
@zweeb82 (5653)
• Malaysia
2 Feb 11
Hmm....sounds like she has a turmoil deep within, not knowing how to handle such kinds of emotions - past, present & future? Especially since she has a boyfriend, she's trying to figure out where she stands. Such situations require divine intervention called LOVE, haha!~
Easier said than done and neither one of us has any right to tell you what to do & what not to do. But do correct me if I'm wrong, she's also your daughter, not your wife's daughter. For such words or feelings towards her are sensitive issues that can spark a lot of undesirable reactions. Irregardless whether or not she has met her biological father or whether or not he's been speaking negative things, still true love will always prevail. Love in action, not only a form of love but void of substance. Love covers a multitude of sin, let love prevail. At the same time when I'm saying all these things, I'm not disregarding the issue of respect. All the best & may God bless you with wisdom in handling the situation
Easier said than done and neither one of us has any right to tell you what to do & what not to do. But do correct me if I'm wrong, she's also your daughter, not your wife's daughter. For such words or feelings towards her are sensitive issues that can spark a lot of undesirable reactions. Irregardless whether or not she has met her biological father or whether or not he's been speaking negative things, still true love will always prevail. Love in action, not only a form of love but void of substance. Love covers a multitude of sin, let love prevail. At the same time when I'm saying all these things, I'm not disregarding the issue of respect. All the best & may God bless you with wisdom in handling the situation@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
i treated both her children as my own children. and i could have not done that if i don't love them. when i married their mother, i did not only love her but also the people around her, beside her.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
welcome back xchyler. but i wish you have something to say about this rant.
@EdnaReyes (2622)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
Teenagers go through a phase in life when they want to be left alone. They're going through a crisis of not knowing what to do with their life. As a parent it's our duty to understand them and give all the support. Try to have a mutual person as a go in between you and your stepdaughter and have a talk with her. Ask about her feelings and try to think it over.After sorting it out,then have a talk with your wife and both of you can work out a solution for the problem and always remember, cooler heads must prevail and honesty and sincerity are elements needed to mend any misunderstandings!
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
her father whom she met last year, for the first time in 15 years had talked with her already. i mean, if we need to have one person going in between the two of us, i think her father could be the right person. but even if we have talked over her attitude recently, she never follows orders from us, especially from her mother. she seem to intentionally disobeying her mother. as with one simple task, which is done everyday, she could not follow or she could not do it properly. one thing that i dislike with her attitude now.
@globaldoc (858)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
That is the problem, because she is not yours. Well, it does not mean to say that you should love her less. As a matter of fact, you should love her as much as you would love your own. She is having an identity crisis, and is very confused. Beating her up would not help. The best way is really to be kind to her, or else, you will loose her for the rest of your life. Don't even force her to kiss your hand if she does not want, because we only force something on a kid for him or her to learn. But for this particular situation, you won't be teaching her anything. Just let her be, and get to talk to her in a matured manner. The peaceful method does not mean that you will be kneeling to her. The peaceful method instead means you understand more. Don't even to try to constantly talk to her. Try to find out her weakness. If it is food, then bring home the food she likes, but do not tell her that you bought that for her. Let her believe that you might just be someone she can trust. As of the moment, she thinks you are a home wrecker. Show her that you are a kind loving and caring person. The point is, do not push yourself to her too much, or you might just end up as a deterrent. The right time will come. Remember, she run away once, so the idea is not far fetched for her. However, if by chance you are in the middle of the Sahara desert, then you can allow her to run away. She will still end up with you...
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 Feb 11
yes of course, she may not be biologically a daughter but i treat her as my own child too. beating again is not the solution right now as doing this to a teenager is not good to see. i respect all your suggestions. but think about the years i am by her side, while she grows up. isn't that something to say, i love her much. 15 years since she was 2 and now she's 18.
