when friends become lovers

he was my friend then became close friend and soon became my 1st boyfriend. after 9 months, we broke up. we broke up july 2010 and until we haven't talked yet we saw each other last may 2010. :(

My best friend in college fell in love with me. Though I was also fond of him, matter of fact, I thought I was also in love with him, but I was wrong. :( But, yes, being friends from the start is a good thing. You will both know each other so well without having to put your best foot forward because you haven't thought of falling for such person. When the two of you decided to take the friendship into a deeper relationship, then there is nothing to hide. So most of the issues or hang ups in your lives are well known to each other. Easy for both of your to accept the other. You see you've fallen for that other person despite of what she is. However, when the deeper relationship doesn't work, there is the tendency that you might lose the friendship as well. But, in other cases, they still remained friends despite of the break up. That is how deep the pain is and how you handle such break up...

It happens but I don't think it's a rule. Starting out as friends does have its advantages since they know each other better than say strangers who fell in love. But then again, some relationships that started as accidental encounters outlast those that had friendship as its foundation. Put simply, there's no absolute rule when it comes to love.

I've always started friends with people I date and it has never really turned sour except once and that's because he broke up with me to sleep with another woman. I think having that friendship there is important at the beginning and allows you to communicate better. You'll have the same interests so that will be working for you too. Friendship turned to intimacy is a beautiful thing.

my first boyfriend and i have been super close friends for 8 before we became a couple. when we were in a relationship, we had so much fun and so much to talk about. but at that time, circumstances beyond our control took place and we broke up after a year. it was tough because i was more scared of losing him as a friend than as a boyfriend because our friendship is really good. we didnt speak for 2 years after our breakup. but when we finally did, we became even closer. our friendship was stronger than ever. it's been 9 years since we broke up, and even though there was a rough part, i think because our relationship is deeply rooted in friendship, we're as good as ever. in fact, we're going to see each other tonight!

it is good to begins as friend beacuse it give you better chance to know each other well before advancing to be lovers . however it is also possible to be lovers without friendship if you are destined to live together . take care .

Personally I think this really can depend on the situation. From my experience if you are Friends for like quite a few yrs. and then try becoming Lovers and dating it usually ends up destroying your friendship as you find out you were not compatable really in that way. But if you are just getting to know someone you are really interested in, and become Friends along with being Lovers and end up marrying them in a short time, then things will usually work out better for sure. Just make sure you are open and can communicate and set down some rules first as well.

I don't know. I feel like it can go either way. The last boyfriend I had - we weren't friends before that, not really anyway. We just got close randomly one day and decided to go out. I feel like if you get in a relationship with a close friend..It makes things incredibly complicated. Am I alone on this belief?!

Actually it was said as having a strong foundation for each were easily adjusted to their different characters, values and beliefs. Acceptance were also given so much value in friendship, thus it makes each other to forgive or understand tantrums and they have no room for misunderstandings. And it is also said that friendship when turned to lovers becomes bitter because when you become lovers, each other disappinted when they could not get their expectation from each other. Let say, when you are friends before, it would be easy for you to understand each other for simple things, while when you are lovers, not getting what you expect from your partner makes you proud or without knowing it you're putting it to a test if she/he can forgive you or do the same favor as easy as before. But still, for me, better to know each other well before getting into a relationship, thus, friendship is still have a bearing in such situation.

not entirely true and also not entirely wrong. Relationship does not have to start with friendships, but friendships are the main points, the most important and the easiest to get into a relationship level. The saying goes, "love comes from the eyes down to the heart. " Another proverb says, "love grows because often meeting". So, back to your questions, a love affair that begins with the friendship will certainly be more powerful

yes it does make a stronger foundation i was friends with my husband for 15 years before we started dating i watch him become a widower and he watch me become a widow i guess we where lucky that we didnt have to see any friends go sour

yea, being friends first means you understand each other better and you have respect for each other but there is a problem that you know about each other too much. on the other side some people fall in love at the first sight without even knowing each otehr and spend lifetime together. i always maintain friendship with my exs. no need to be enemies... especially if they were close friends

Emotion has not rationality at most time especially when in a quarrel. I don't think a strong foundation helps if the hurt is deep. To begin with friendship is always good because you get to know the person in a social setting and not just focus on intimacy. If you want examples of friends becoming lovers then turn sour and bitter to the point that the friendship was lost, just look at the hollywood celebrities. There should be enough examples to quote...I think.

Actually, I have some examples of friends become lovers. Two of my high school friends become lover after they get into college. And now, they are going to get married! However, friendship can turn into love, and love can turn into strangeness. Two of my college friends became lovers when sophomore but ended break up before graduating. We all don't know why but they just broke up. So, although I believe love is kind of emotion that can last forever, but for someone, it may just a feeling that can change very soon.

Relationshups will change when friends become lovers. They can often be a change for the better. unfortunately, sometimes this transition doesn't go as we planned. Getting back to the friendship if an timate relationship ends czn be difficult to cope with.

yah, but there are sometimes in this case that at the end, it will end also in friendship. It also depend on them how to handle in this case.

True or not, I really do believe that it is on how the people involve handle things. There are so many scenarios that may happen to two people who is into the other that would make some saying that what they have is just too complicated. Some may start as friends then become lovers while others become lovers and just end up being friends. But my favorite scenario is when people just falls for the other right there and then even not knowing the other too much and ending up as really good friends but remained as lovers. I just do not see the point why some people set out restrictions. You feel like he likes you and you know you like him too but you try to doubt what you feel for him. When he finally composes himself and asks you if you could be together, you then get angry and now you want to have nothing to do with him. That is a big OUCH. Having to do things with the one special to you is something beautiful. I just wonder why that at some point it would end whether you like it or not. Why can't things stay as they are now? Endings are just too painful.

hiii...friends becoming lovers is a wonderful relationship.it does not mean that we spoil the friendship between them.its a wonderful feeling.one of my friend married his own friend.they have good understanding between them.so i think its better to love a person who understands takes care of us than a stranger.

Nice discussion.In my opinion,one relationship need true and love.If the lovers were friends before,so very nice because they know each other good.I knos this but personally I have a friend actually my best friend and she is a girl,so she is very beatiful and kind,byt I do want to lose her.She has now a boyfriend,but she told me once that this guy is "temporaly" so maybe they will brake up when somebody make a misteak .I want to say that real friends are for life and when you feel that you are inlove with the girl,who you know for a 15 or 20 years so do not rush..wait still to see if she has the same feelings.If not,so there is no point.If yes,so it would be a very beautiful pure love..So good luck.

It mostly depends with your dynamics with the other person. I've dated my best friends of four years, and we weren't that compatible. I've had better chances with the one person I met, talked to for days before asking her out, and it turn out that our relationship lasted for two years. And well, as for what happened to my best friends who turned my exes, they both turned ex-friends, too.