Is it possible to save this friendship?
By mgb035
@mgb035 (5)
United States
February 6, 2011 8:20pm CST
My best friend of 10 years seems not care if we continue being friends.
We both graduated from high school and went to different colleges, and we tried to stay in touch, but she became increasingly unavailable. We rarely even did things during the summer.
I recently graduated from college and hoped that we would be able to start rebuilding our friendship since I was coming back to my hometown, but it seems like she's barely interested. At first, she called me all the time to do things, but now she doesn't even tell me huge things that are going on in her life. I find out from Facebook.
Sometimes I try to call her and get no answer for weeks so I give stop calling, then out of the blue, she'll call and want to hang out.
On the rare occasion that we DO end up hanging out, she acts/talks like she's SO happy and excited and always talks about how many more things we're going to do together.
It's hard to let go of a long-term, close friendship that I thought was there. I think I'd feel like a failure if I just let it go.
7 responses
@gloryacam (5540)
• Philippines
7 Feb 11
Oh. Sad to hear that. It can't be helped that old friends become mere acquaintances at the passage of time. This is especially hard for childhood friends. Well, you've done your part, and it seems she's not reciprocating. Maybe she still wants to be your friend, but has a lot of things in her hands. Or she does not want to be that close a friend anymore. Maybe you could accept that your friendship is not as close as before, but, that you could still be her friend if she needs one. In a relationship, it is almost impossible to save it if only one person is interested in working it out.
@mgb035 (5)
• United States
7 Feb 11
Thanks for your answer. It helps to hear that it sounds like I've done all I could. When I was away at school, I accepted that we weren't as close anymore and we both had our separate lives. When I came back and she was all excited about us being in the same town again, I was hopeful. I guess it's clear now that we've both grown apart.
@raj7shot (838)
• India
7 Feb 11
I will really feel sorry for that.But one thing is not understandable here
.
"She doesn't even tell me huge things that are going on in her life.I find out from face book"
What is the problem she is facing now, if you are true friend means you can help her in this without her intimation.Even you came to know from face book why can't u ask her frankly. Why you are hesitating to ask her about that.
Now it is clearly showing who is going out 
...
.
"She doesn't even tell me huge things that are going on in her life.I find out from face book"
What is the problem she is facing now, if you are true friend means you can help her in this without her intimation.Even you came to know from face book why can't u ask her frankly. Why you are hesitating to ask her about that.
Now it is clearly showing who is going out ...
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
7 Feb 11
Friends come and go, and the best ones, they will always stay. You did your part and there is nothing more to be asked of you. How she will respond to this will show how much she treasures the relationship. You must, however put into account the things that could have made her act this way. I hope that you could find a way to strengthen back the bond and that she gives more attention to your actions. 
@lologirl2021 (5542)
• United States
7 Feb 11
What your saying is life and you know you will always have a friend with in her but life goes on and you will see this much more when your get older. But my friend i had in highschool hasnt really changed much and since highschool i have been with different boyfriends and trying to live my life and i find out things as well on facebook that she is doing and how she is living her life.
I dont een call or hangout with friends much anymore since i have moved on to better things in life and like to have a life then jsut being drunk.
When you guys hangout it will be good because you will talk all about the past and how the future should be to live by and what not. In life you grow apart from your best friends you had growing up.
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
7 Feb 11
Long-term friendship is really hard to earned... and if & when you have separated ways... you're just exploring how life is more to offer... but still the friendship will be there whatever happens i believed.
Friendship is not letting go if you will make your own way not with her. Be open to make friends to others... there's no harm if you will have more friends aside from her... Grow positively...
@daerzhimeng (17)
• China
7 Feb 11
i have a similar situation like u,at first,he contacts me rarely after gratuation.i tried to talk to him again and again.i know the reason finally.it is work and his boss looked down upon him.i hope u dont let it go.
@snowhybiscuis (1882)
• Philippines
7 Feb 11
Don't let go. You'll know it is true friendship if despite long distance or being away from each other for a very long period you still have that connection. If you feel that she's taking her distance away from you, try to find an opportunity to talk to her privately. Tell her what you are feeling and validate if she's angry or why she's indifferent to you. There could be so many varied reason. Maybe she feels that you changed too or that she's afraid of telling you something. If you really want to keep your friendship, get that courage to ask her.
Goodluck and happy mylotting.
