lived for just 36 hours .. carried him inside my womb for 8 months..

Losing a child is always sad. I lost my second child when she was barely 3 months old in my womb. I also blamed myself for losing her because I didn't take care of myself. I was so much stressed out with work, that I lost my baby in the process. I didn't know that it would be a delicate pregnancy as my first was really easy. Pregnancy differs as you age. I should have been more careful. Like you, I also wonder what must she be doing now, if she was alive. She should have been almost 2 now. What would she look like? I'm sure she'll be pretty. Until now, I am still praying for another baby to come. Well Lhenni, we have our angels in heaven now. We know that they are in a better place. What we can do is shower our kids with love, by doing this, we are also giving our little angels our love. When you kiss Andrei, you are also kissing Aeron.

It has got to be so very difficult for losing a child. Especially when you carried him for 8 months. I can't imagine what you are going through. The only thing is though you have a beautiful child now...a healthy, wonderful, playful, smart, fast growing child that is a blessing. It is not wrong for thinking these thoughts, but there is absolutely nothing that you could have done. The only question in life that will kill you is the question of 'what if'. We will never know what if situations, I dont know what would or could have happened, but I do know one thing. That child that you lost was to great for us, God has much bigger plans for him, that's why he is there. Guilt is something that everone deals with, but don't let it blind you to the beauty standing in front of you with the child that survived. It's healthy to have some grief, and I wish i could be the one to tell you that it will stop...But, I can't. I don't think that it ever will. But I do know this...Everyday that passes will make it a little easier when you see your beautiful blessing that did make it. I hope that everything works out for you. God Bless!

I'm sorry Lhenni, that is sad. I admit I never lost a child, but if I had and had a living child, I would speak of the one who is not with you. You'r child, though is very small, might develop feelings the lost brother and by you keeping communication opened, your child will feel safe to share what their feelings are.

You're lucky to have Aeron for a child but God has other plan for His little angel Aeron. Let it be God's will. No, you're wrong or in any sense has done wrong when you speak of this little angel as if he's alive. He is indeed alive, in your memory and heart. He will always be a part of you, as a mother, our children are always part of us. We live in them, we breathe in them, we die in them. This is how wonderful this task is, being a mother!

I think your children will understand much about the world because you talk about their lost little brother. They will also understand that you are human and have feelings, and this will help them be more compassionate with others. I am so sorry for your loss.

Don't blame yourself for what happened. Usually when you had twins, there are tendencies that there will be an early labor. Just always remember that there is a reason why everything happened and that your baby is in heaven and is now an angel. Even if its hard to move on with that, always remember that you had another son and that he need you too as her mother. Don't let youself be preoccupied with that thought cause possibly there is a big chance of you forgetting about your alive son.

You are not to be blamed Lhenni. This sort of things happen. My daughter also delivered at 8 months, and yes Harhini as we call her was less than a kilo in weight and had to be kept in an incubator.The first time, I saw her I cried, because of all the needles stuck on her.Well my wife took it upon her to nurse her, and now she is two years old. Yes, it would have been very nice if Aeron was also alive, but be thankful to god, that he has left you Andrei.Maybe god loved Aeron so much that he has taken him. I am certain you will be having a Aeron - 2.Best Wishes.

Hi Really very sorry to hear about that, it was really very poignant. But you should take heart from the fact that Andrei's still with you and he's grown up into a healthy 4 year old boy. Usually deliveries at 8 months are not successful. My cousin lost her first born, a baby boy, who was born at 8 months. hope you will get over it.

oh my God, that is so sad, I'm so sorry!