family relationship

Dear vwilliams55, First of all, nothing you do is wrong, when you feel good and loving about doing it. Love and happiness are feelings that should act as a barometer for your actions. If you don't feel them, or worse, you feel bad or guilty or resentful, than that's not the best way for you. Try to find in your heart what you really want and don't let the thoughts of anger or jealousy dominate you in your decision. You will see, as i did every time, that a decision taken with your heart open will open the hearts of others too. Your good feelings will make them change their attitude about them. I wish you good luck and many happy reunions with your loved ones!

You said that your parents and siblings all live in the same state except for one of your siblings and yourself. Could this be the reason that they are going to events for your other family members and not going to any for you and your children? Perhaps the travel to a different state is too much for them either financially or physically or both? It does not seem fair, but it might only be that they cannot travel (or cannot afford to travel) the distance it would take to go to these events. On the other hand, I would think that at least the birth of your children would be enough of a motivation due to the importance of the event to arrange such travel, even if it would be a financial hardship.

hi there. i don't think it is good to also do the same thing to them because if something happens they will just throw it back to you. just do what you have to do, do what you think is right and remember it is always nice to have a clean and clear conscience about it. i know i sound like i know a lot, i am 24, but i have felt the same way as you are now. every Christmas we have gift giving, my brothers would get nice new branded shoes, same as my other two sister, dresses stuffs etc. guess what i get? i got hair clips. lol i know its funny but i still appreciate it. i feel bad sometimes especially that i was physically and emotionally abused when i was small up to when i got in to 1st year in college. my other siblings get to have their cellphones when they want one, they have replaced it a lot of times already but for me, honestly, they haven't bought any. all my stuffs are from my own hard work. but still, i know we can sometimes be weak, like now as i am typing this, i get emotional here, but everything is going to be okay. it is not always the material things. my mom wasnt there too when i graduated from grade school, i did not have any of my parents in Highschool, just my teacher who stood as my godparent :( it is sad but it is okay. i understand i have a big family, the attention cant be divided equally. it is okay. we can get through this, it can make us stronger in a good way and no matter what, we still love our family very much. we love them very very much and so i try to open my mind always as wide as i can :) hope you are okay, dont be angry anymore :) oh and congratulations to you and your daughter :) Happy MyLotting :)

Its not good.If they are not coming means u will not go.Then what is the difference between you and them. Keep going to their function.find what is the problem and try to rectify it. Never loose your confidence.One day they will understand you.

hi dear.. you are absolutely not wrong, maybe there are some missunderstanding between you and your entire family, i can't guess what it is, but maybe you can solve this by talking each other face to face with all of your family just tell me what are you feel and see how they response you.. remember communication is the best way to solve most everything relationship problem hope everythings gonna be OK! happy mlyotting!!

My parents don't travel really. The only time mom came was when I had my children and it wasn't normally till weeks or months after they were born. The last one my husband and I traveled with him so she could meet him when he was 2 months old. She's not sickly or anything, she's probably in better health than most people. She doesn't really call me unless I call first. I know she calls one of my sisters but the rest of us she really doesnt' make the effort or so it seems. I call my children regularly. I try to get to all my childrens milestones and the grandkids now but my parents don't make the events. Granted they are in another state far away and It was I that moved but still... Be there for special things like that. It means the world. I totally understand where you are coming from.

This is one of those things that gets to most people, even a saint. Nothing bothers someone more than unequal attention, and this is a perfect example. I hear all the time people who get upset their parents pay more attention to their sister or brother's kids, or their in-laws spend more time with other grandkids, etc. Perhaps it has to do with the cost of traveling? Have you always extended an open invitation to your extended family, or specifically invited them? I do think it's kind of lousy that they did not come when you gave birth to your kids - if you wanted them there of course. I also feel it's a little odd that they were not interested in attending your daughter's graduation but alas, some extended family just doesn't do stuff like that. Quite honestly, my extended family who lives out of state did not come here for anything special, but I didn't ask them to, I know the cost of flying lol. Now I would be SUPER irritated if everybody lived in the same area, say 20 min apart, and they were forever and always attending THEIR stuff and blowing you off. I would most certainly say something about it in the hopes of confronting and embarrassing them - or at least getting a reason WHY. By the way, if you'd like to attend your sister's graduation, call her up, explain how you feel. Maybe she'll have a good reason for never attending your functions and the two of you can talk it out and clear the air.

Something like this happens. I understand your feeling when you are expecting them to come on an important event but they did not. I think now you do not have to go to all of the events they have, unless they are really important event like marriage, new baby celebration, etc. I am almost never invited by my cousins to any important events they hold.

if you feel like your an alien to them DONT GO but if you see yourself art of the family then DO GO, and then ask them why they are like that not attending to much attention of your important events in life? maybe you'll know hwy and that all grudges are answered

You are angry and sad because they were never present on all your important occasions and envious of your siblings.A normal reaction but have you tried talking to them or invited them on you daughter's graduation day?Sometimes it just take an open communication for both ends.They are still your family and nothing can change that.Don't hold grudges, it will only make your life miserable. Show up on your sis' graduation day, show them that you are happy to see them and soon everything will turn out right. :)

ya you dont get angry.you do what you have to do.they itself will start realize their mistake.

hey i think what u did is wrong.you dont expect others to do you just do what you have to do

It's not good to do the same thing!!! They may have reasons why they were not able to attend to any functions or events that you had, not because they have favoritism nor they don't love you!!!Why not reverse the situation, try to reach them... i mean why not you try to do the some actions so as to show them how important they are to you,in that way they may also do the same!!! Open you're mind, don't entertain the negative thoughts about your family, A family will always be a family no matter what!!!