Where to draw the line in friendly relationships?

Hi ! Good Morning! It is a dicey situation. You could neither be impolite to him nor be very soft towards him and in this process; it gets difficult to draw the line. I think for the time being what you can do is - you should talk to him strictly about hospital related matters and discourage him from bringing food or gift items. You can tell him that it is against the norms for you people to accept such things from outsiders and ‘acceptance’ can land you in trouble. If he tries to discuss anything which is not related to hospital matter, you can tell him that you are very busy and other things needed to be attended. If you continue to show him soft attitude, he might feel encouraged. I think, little bit of sternness will be required on your part so that he should understand that you mean ‘business’ and nothing hanky panky. I think, this is one of the hazards of public dealing that sometimes extra politeness towards someone could be taken otherwise. Keep your cool and patience. All the best. Have a nice day!

Hi mimpi! I would be very careful about how you handle this. You could be possible taking this all out of proportion and since he isn't doing anything "improper" there really isn't anything that you should do. I would continue acting the same way you have been towards him. There isn't anything wrong being friendly towards a co-worker or co-workers. Maybe he is alot like you and is just a very friendly, kind person. Maybe you two would be a good pair???

Hi Mou Hope you must be doing well well, its good that you go out of the way to help people/patients who come to your hospital. when people comes to hospital any extra help in poilte and positive way make them feel really relax and comfortable, so keep on doing it. as fas as that person is concern,well i think u should not rude or harsh to him as long as he is only discussing and talking regarding work. and as far as foods and gifts are concern, as he is getting it for doc to distribute in whole hospital, so let him bring to doc and he can give it to u to further distribute it. u never knew that it might be policy of his company and they are doing it to have good relation with doc. so just relax and treat it professionaly byee

I don't think that there is really anything that you can do about this kind of situation being that the social worker is not acting outside of limitations. However, if the relationship were to progress to the point that it really made you feel uncomfortable, then I think that would be the time that you would need to talk to him about it. There are some people in this world (though not a lot) that are genuinely good people.

Answer him after he tells you his rumblings, "Mmhmm, that's great. So how's your shrink?"

You work for the same institution,it would really be hard evade him.The best you could do is to take the courage to talk to him up front and tell him that you are not comfortable with the way things are going the both of you.You can say it your usual sweet and normal way. :)

I know what you are talking about. It's called intuition or sixth sense...or whatever. I've had such situations....where my antennae go up. But I can't give you a solution because I am the kind who can't take action without solid proof (my heart tells me so is not considered 'solid proof')....so I'll just act normal and try to maintain a polite distance. Sometimes, the man gets over it and moves one. But I wouldn't be able to do anything till he does something or says something that you are uncomfortable about.

Probably this person has some ideas about you and wants to talk to you. If your instinct says so and you are not keen on a friendly relationship with him I would suggest you start giving monosllables for answers, do not carry on the thread of conversation, give staccato smiles ; do not give a sy mpathetic ear by asking pertinent questions.Slowly he would lose interest.

I feel he just wanted to share his problem with you. We get the gifts for everyone whom we love to speak to. So dont just jump into a conclusion, instead wait for some more time. He would like to be more friendly with you. He would have considered a great friend to discuss his problems. Everyone cannot become close.

I feel he just wanted to share his problem with you. We get the gifts for everyone whom we love to speak to. So dont just jump into a conclusion, instead wait for some more time. He would like to be more friendly with you. He would have considered a great friend to discuss his problems. Everyone cannot become close.

I wouldn't change things as long as he is talking about work but if hs starts talking about other things..I would make myself scarce. The line is where you draw it and what your comfortable with. People are different. If you don't like it..just tell him if he gets too personal that you have enough on your plate with your patients.

I think it is a very tricky situation. If he is discussing matters which do not fall into your job profile then you can tell him in a polite but firm manner to discuss those matters with someone else.Even if he does not understand your gesture then you can talk to your higher authorities . For gifts and food related things you can tell him that accepting gifts are prohibited and if he insists you on that then tell him that these gestures can land you in trouble. If he is really friendly with you and honest in his ways he will understand you and do not try to bug you any more. I wish you best of luck and hope that you get rid of this tension as soon as possible.

If I read between the lines, it sounds like the social worker possibly likes you? If that is what you think and you don't feel the same, then when the time is right all you have to do is say you do not hang around/date anyone that is affiliated with your job. Let him know you fill uncomfortable listening to his personal problems and that you would appreciate it if he only discusses work related issues with him. You can still be nice while saying this. Good luck. Hugs

how about this: next time , when he is talking with u, u pretend to get a call from ur boyfriend and to be sweet and nice to ur "boyfriend".

To answer the first part of your question, it would be difficult for you to continue to be sweet and normal, since you already are uncomfortable with the situation. To continue to be so, would always bring up the doubt in his mind. Further more, if his intention is really what you suspect it to be, he would think it as encouragement, and he may cross the line one day, putting you in a spot. What I will do? I would put him off and give it to him straight. But that's me and of course it's easier said than done. The best thing would be is to avoid him. If he calls, cut short the conversation by letting him know that you are busy. If he comes across to you in person and starts a conversation, limit the conversation to what is work related and thenexcuse yourself. If he still continues to persist, then you have to put it across to him directly.

Who is this guy's friendliness a problem for you? It doesn't sound as if he has crossed any line by intruding into your personal life. If it bothers you though, perhaps you could try tactfully forwarding some of his hospital related enquiries onto colleagues. 'I'm not the expert on that, perhaps you should try speaking to so and so'. I'm sure he'll get the hint. The gifts are a very sweet gesture and perhaps he is just a very generous person. I used to have a neighbour who would rush off and find something from his kitchen to give me each time I saw him. It was embarrassing and I never did manage to stop him. You could make it clear that gifts will be shared with the whole team though. 'What a lovely gift you've brought. The team will really enjoy that!' Or you could pretend to be on a diet!

All I can say is do not assume too much and do not feel too special even how special he treats you. Some people are just like this. What is the reason why they do this? I can't really tell. I have been in this situation a couple of times and I always fall for it and in the end, I fell hard. In the end, we just come up with a realization that what they do is part of their system. Some gives their attention to you alone but others share it to a lot. We just have to be cautious. What they show us may or may not be true. If we have this feelings for him or her, it will be a risk for us to take.