What to do with Alzheimer
By Alisea26t
@Alisea26t (80)
Romania
February 8, 2011 3:29am CST
I am very sad to say that may grandmother of 86 years old has a very unsettling disease: Alzheimer. For more than 4 years, me and my boyfriend are living with my grandmother, since she was diagnosed with these disease. At first, she used to forget the things she said to us and repeated the same idea 5-6 times in a row. Then she developed a habit to check every 2 or 3 hours, in the middle of the night, if the water isn't running, or if the gas is off. For a year or so, she seems to forget where she puts her things, or what our exact names are.
Last month she asked me where i was living, and when i said that with her, for four years, she asked me if no one thought to ask for her permission too. That is very strange for me, because it's difficult to hear people talking like that, with no reason at all, and not to react in any way, because you know they are sick. Sometimes i'm baffled and i don't know how to respond. Usually i try to remind her, or simply explain to her something she knew all her life.
Like two weeks ago, when she came to me and asked me if i knew how to make her TV set work. I must say that TV set is very, very old, and her favorite, daily routine, is to watch TV. So when she didn't know how to press the red, big, ON button on the remote control, i was shocked.
In summer time she enjoys to go in the public garden in front our block of flats, and i am afraid now that, this year, she won't know her way back home.
I know that she doesn't realize it, she is rather happy in her own world, even sings a lot of the time.
If you had similar situations, please share your experience with me, because i feel a little overwhelmed.
Thank you!
3 people like this
9 responses
@lexirose7350 (459)
• Philippines
8 Feb 11
Alzheimer is a disease of older people that you have to deal with. My uncle had the disease too and he passed on when he was 92 - that was about 5 or 6 years ago. The first few years, he would ask us to look for his glasses when in fact he was wearing it or his hat which would always be on top of his head.He would not remember any of our names but what he would always remember was his youth and his siblings' name so he would call me by my mom's name (his sister). There was even a time that he wore his underwear over his pants.Sounds funny but it is the reality of life.All we can do is to be patient and give them the best understanding,love and time that we could give.
1 person likes this
@Alisea26t (80)
• Romania
8 Feb 11
Yes, i saw that too. My grandmother is remembering very well old memories. She even knows how many cars were in the parking lot 40 years ago, when she first moved in her apartment. I can see her remembering her childhood and youth, but not the visit of her son, only a day ago. Even if he visits with her often, she is certain that he hasn't come back to see her for at least four years.
@lexirose7350 (459)
• Philippines
8 Feb 11
Yes that's how alzheimer is - the mind travels back to the very past.You are still lucky coz you still have your grandma with you.Be gentle and kind to her.
1 person likes this
@topffer (42156)
• France
9 Feb 11
My father had an Alzheimer disease. It is very frustrating and difficult to accept for the family. He was not understanding what was happening to him, thinking that he was able to drive normally -- he broke four cars in three years before his insurance said that they did not wanted him as a customer -- or even to live normally. Came a time where he was no more able to change a battery in a radio or to count his money in his wallet... The "I forget where I put ..." was a leitmotiv : we needed months to teach him how to hang his keys near the door, to put his wallet at the same place... Sometimes you have to do things very fast : when I found that he was forgetting the gas on his stove, I offered him an electric stove as a gift : he protested but learned how to use it. He was forgetting to take his medicine and he had a nurse twice a day for this...
If your grandmother can't find her way back to home from the public garden, the best solution will be to find her a place in an old people's home where she will have somebody to take care of her.
1 person likes this
@Alisea26t (80)
• Romania
9 Feb 11
Thank you for your reply. Yes, theoretically you're right, i should, but unfortunately it's not my call. Her eldest daughter is the one deciding and i don't really know what will happen when will move away from her house, since we are due to do it this summer. Before we moved with her, four years before, she threatened to run away, she was very unhappy to be alone, but as i said, her daughter is the one to make the calls. And she won't stay with her, either. Anyway...they will probably find a solution that will work well for everybody.
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
8 Feb 11
My daughter works for a family, she sits with their elderly mother (82) who has Alzheimer's. She will not eat unless my daughter sits down and eats with her, and told her the other day they 'needed to wait until the children got home'. They have to take the knobs off of the stove so that she doesn't try to cook. As I explained to my daughter (who is 22) she has to keep in mind that in this dear old ladies mind that is where she is, she is back in a time where everyone in the family sat down for dinner, she is back baking or cooking for her family..... Yes they can and do seem very happy where they are in their world. As for forgetting things, the best thing to do is not get frustrated, just simply tell her again, and again if necessary. As for letting her go to the park, I don't believe I would allow her to go by herself. When she forgets things like your names, just nicely correct or remind her. It takes a lot of patience, love and understanding to deal with this disease. Good luck
@Alisea26t (80)
• Romania
9 Feb 11
Thank you for your advice. You're right, i shouldn't let her go by herself in the park (which is more like a garden in front of our block of flats), but unfortunately i'm not always at home during the day and i can't lock her in the house. The good thing is that all her neighbors know her, since she lives there for 40 years, so i believe that the old ladies, she goes in the garden to talk to, will direct her toward the house. They are very good neighbors and help us a lot with her, especially when we're not home and she gets lonely or confused.
@elitess (5070)
• Ipswich, England
8 Feb 11
Hello Alisea,
I can really relate with this case as we share the same grandmother.
This has been happening since she neared the age of 80, and as you said at first she forgot little things, but nowadays when i come by at her place, she asks me if i entered college or if i finished highschool, while i am finishing my master degree now. She doesn't even remember about my girlfriend, with which i have been for 3 years if she is not in for a visit, and even then i am not sure how well she is aware of her.
In a way you are lucky, as she got to know and remember you while she still could, as for the asking for permission - that is really sad of all, it's like accusing you of taking over her house, even if that is not the case.
like you said though - at least she is happy in her own little world - i don't want to be around when the other grandmother goes beserk... it's gonna be sadder as she complains alot even now.
@Alisea26t (80)
• Romania
8 Feb 11
Well, hello again!
The thing about her wondering why nobody asked her for permission i believe it's just a way of saying that she doesn't remember when and how we moved in, it wasn't said with malice at all. I just saw confusion on her face, like those things were a blank in her memories.
That's even more sad, because you can't bring those memories back for her.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
16 Feb 11
My grandmother has Alzheimer and she has had it for several years. She started repeating the same questions over and over and that was one of the first things that we noticed. If she was worried about something she asked the same question many, many times in a row. It also became difficult for her to find the exit or the toilet when she was at an unfamiliar place.
She was afraid that her neighbour would steal her money and she started hiding it in a lot of different places around her house. Afterwards she forget where she put the money and we spent a lot of time looking for money in her house. We found some of it, but part of the money never showed up and my grandmother thought that her neighbour had stolen it.
One day she put decided to cook something and forgot to turn off the pot. The pot was badly damaged, but fortuneately we avoided a dangerous situation as my uncle came for a visit and noticed what was going on. Another time my grandmother decided to go grocery shopping and she forgot the way back to her house. The home health care team found her on the parking lot in front of the supermarked. Now she lives in a nursing home, and we often visit her there.
@piya84 (2580)
• India
15 Feb 11
He is not my very close relative.He is my uncles father who lives there in USA.He is above 90.Few years ago he made purchase of a car even though he did not have that much money.Then he totally forgot about it.My uncle was pulled in court along with father for this unpaid car.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
8 Feb 11
it IS hard to deal with. my father in law is the same waya dnalthough we dont see him every day, we do see him and my mother in law at least a few times per week. all you can do is go along with them. My father in law is getting to be more confused it seems too. routines seem to be the best for this illness.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
8 Feb 11
It is discouraging and frustrating to know that the disaease of Alzheimers exists. As we get older, all we may have to hold on to are the memories we have. This punishing disease will take away even that from us. One day when we don't know our loved ones or can't remember cherished moments, it makes the disease even more unbearable to live with. Hoping for a cure for this tragic disease is something to wish for!
@capoquek (60)
• Singapore
12 Feb 11
Hello Alisea, my grandmother is also currently going through Alzheimer's disease. She is 93 years old, it is heartbreaking for me as I never really had the chance to communicate with her because of our language barrier. She used to talk to me whenever she came by to stay with my family, but I never understood anything that she says other than; "have you eaten?", "where are you going?", "are you going out?" Those were a few years back when she still has not contracted this disease, right now she does not even remember who am I, nor does she remember my mother's name. During family gatherings, she would have that confused look on her face, probably thinking why are there so many strangers in the house and what's the occasion etc. She would just sit at a corner and look at us blankly. Sooner or later she would probably forget all of us, and be like a newborn baby, just without the ability to remember anything, it's really scary and upsetting to see..
