Is it embarrassing to get married with a beating life inside the girl's womb?
By Lhenni
@Lhenni (1242)
Philippines
February 9, 2011 3:07am CST
On February 20 this year, we're going to witness my husband's cousin's church wedding. I recall the time we had two ( civil and church )...
On our first marriage of civil, that was 10 years ago, I was almost 5 months on the way to our eldest, I don't feel any excitement at all. Maybe the fact that I embarrassed my family was the reason. Our parents and our grandparents wanted us to get blessed and accept the sacrament of marriage that we refuse to do that time for some reasons. The rest was history...
After being civilly together for 8 years, blessed with 2 kids that time, we decided to accept the holy matrimony last 2009. What a coincidence! Like our first, there's someone's heart beating inside me. Hah! I'm carrying my youngest on his 6 weeks the day our church wedding was held.
I'm wondering some insights "what is it to get married with a beating life inside the girl's womb? Is it embarrassing?" By the way, I'm from a country of values that pre-marital thing is forbidden. As per our values is concern, we should blessed first by marriage before anything else. But many if not all, is engaging in that manner.
Just be responsible to our actions! I can't say anymore co'z i'm one of them! It's good to have my first been with me for 10 years now... and we're blessed with 3 lovely kids... What else can I asked for!
4 people like this
18 responses
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
9 Feb 11
There's nothing to get embarrassed for. Not everyone can afford a church wedding and instead opt for a civil wedding instead. Sure, people will talk behind you back but there are people who are like that, they are those who can't find anything good to say anybody anyway.
1 person likes this
@Lhenni (1242)
• Philippines
9 Feb 11
That's true! There's many people around me at work back-stubbing with their judgemental behavior not thinking that they too is not perfect. Nobody's perfrect anyway. It's been 10 years since then... I don't feel any regret by the way where we are now. We're happy...
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
9 Feb 11
I don't think it is embarrassing, but it isn't as nice as I think a wedding and honeymoon would be if the bride was not carrying a child. I was four months along when I got married and the ceremony and honeymoon was not that great..:(
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
10 Feb 11
When I think of carrying a child at the wedding altar, I don't think of how embarrassing the bride must be. I'm very thankful the soon-to-be mother decided to keep the child. Her choice to get married means that she's trying to provide for the baby and her family - that's a good thing. The husband and wife can provide for the family together. The child is a precious life, and that is one of the best wedding gifts, don't you think? You're exactly right when you said everyone is responsible for the choices he or she makes. Obviously, the choice was made to make a baby together and the choice was made to get married. Those are both wonderful things. My husband and I chose not to get pregnant before getting married, but that's because we wanted to be married and get to know each other first before starting a family. We still don't have kids, but we've enjoyed having each other. There are also women who can't have children, so that always can make you grateful for the children you have! I'm glad you are blessed in your marriage and by your children.
@angelic123 (1108)
• United States
10 Feb 11
I promised myself that I will not marry while I am pregnant and so I did. My reason was not because of embarassment but I want to savor the sense of purity and I think it is just right to marry before having a baby. I have nothing against those who are pregnant and get married but I makes me feel pure and more memorable walking in the aisle with white long gown tightly wrapped in my slender waist.
@cashsearcher11 (153)
• Philippines
10 Feb 11
Most of us will say, yes! It's really embarrassing! Because we know that it is wrong. Many bla...bla...against and will mock at you. I did not experience that but in some point i realize why i haven't try it? Because we don't have yet a baby. I think and its only my opinion, men and women should try first to have a kid before getting married(if and only if, both of you are serious about it). Marriage life without children is like an empty womb. You're lucky because you got pregnant before getting married and i salute you for being strong. I hope i will have kids of my own someday.
@Alisea26t (80)
• Romania
9 Feb 11
Dear Lhenni,
I understand your feelings, because being raised in a community who taught you strict moral values like that, in a world of not such strict ones can make you feel a little confused. It is unsettling to act different than your loved ones expect you to, but you must see what a great thing you've accomplished. You are the mother of three beautiful and healthy children, i believe, and you have your husband besides you. You are blessed, my dear, in having so much, so i believe you shouldn't concern yourself anymore about the road that got you here.
Getting married with a child in your womb, well that means he/she is blessed two times, once along with his/her parents and once at baptism. Be happy and don't feel shame for anything that God has given you to experience.
I wish you a beautiful, blessed life together with your family!
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
26 Oct 11
I'm here in the States where you can have babies without getting married and marry and never have kids. I think it All depends on the bride. It is her body . Of she is ashamed , then there will be shame on the ceremony But if she is ok with it , then everybody should be ok with it.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
13 Feb 11
Here in the States you can have kids Without marriage and marriage without kids. It is up to the couple. I think one should do hat makes you happy. You married the man you love! It really doesn't matter about the life inside your womb. Both of you came together willingly to make a family and you are happy. That's all that matters.
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
17 Feb 11
what is there to be embarrassed about? you love your huby, you love your kids
and you are not hurting anyone else right? you're situation is similar to mine. i have 3 kids now and we are still planning on the wedding stuff:) wedding comes late these days hahahaa 
but there is nothing wrong with it, i do not feel anything wrong with it because i love my huby as well as my kids and we are happy together.
to hell with what other people will say! 
and you are not hurting anyone else right? you're situation is similar to mine. i have 3 kids now and we are still planning on the wedding stuff:) wedding comes late these days hahahaa but there is nothing wrong with it, i do not feel anything wrong with it because i love my huby as well as my kids and we are happy together.
to hell with what other people will say! 
@marguicha (223720)
• Chile
27 Oct 11
This is cultural, of course, but all this is changing with time and probably what was embarrasing for your family then would not be as embarrasing now.
The most important thing as I see it is that you have a happy and stable marriage. That´s what really counts. That is the real blessing. I know, because I was blessed by that too and it´s VERY unusual.
Take care!
@minnie15 (143)
• United States
10 Feb 11
I think it is up to the individual person and what they think. They should not worry about what others think. As long as the bride and groom are happy. These days the fact that they are getting married at all is great. There are so many little ones that are born out of wedlock. It is an individual preference.
@RamRes (1723)
• Argentina
12 Feb 11
Why would it be embarrassing? It's your decition and your life (OK, actually, thelife of both your partner and your). You decided to get pregnant and you decided to marry while being pregant. In these times, it's really easy to decide when to have a baby and even easier to choose the date for marriage.
If you really want and love your partner, I see no problem at all. I think also that at least the civil marriage is important to the baby, for it gives the legal rights and protection to him. The religious marriage is all about faith and love, and a nice step to your partner.
But if you don't really like that, why don't use comdoms until you get married?
@bikerider143 (119)
• India
11 Feb 11
it is happy to hear that you have a happy life with your family,most of the couples are not happy with there partners.
there is nothing wrong in you to feel embarrassing that you marriage in a church instead in total civil,there is no though of feeling about the way your marriage was done,you should think about the way you live together after the marriage like that you are happy with now having 3 kids and happy life.
no one knows what happens next and no one can change the past life so be happy with the present time and all the best.
@staria (2780)
• Philippines
10 Feb 11
BIG NO! One should not be embarass, there are still worse cases than what is stated there above. I got married w/ a 3month old tummy. And I felt just as happy. Other people does not really matter, as long as my family loves me and my parents approve of my marriage to my husband and they blessed our relationship that's enough.
On the other hand, I can't say that it is the right thing to do (premarital baby), but if it is given to you must be proud of it! :)
@shaggin (72184)
• United States
9 Feb 11
Well if you wanted to get married so your children wouldnt be illegitimate thats fine but me personally I would not marry someone just for that reason. I would have to truly love them to marry them. I wouldnt want to be stuck with someone I didnt like just because I had kids with them. I have seen people be like 9 months pregnant in wedding dresses and I think they look kind of ridiculous. I wouldnt do that I'd just wait until after the baby was born. Getting married is one of the biggest days of your life and you want to look your best. Having a huge belly is not looking your best lol but whatever its there choice.
@madteaparty (2748)
• Japan
10 Feb 11
Well, in my opinion it's not embarrasing at all. Being married is a legal contract that you make with your partner because you want to, so your surroundings shouldn't matter at all when you're marrying, isn't it?
Have kids when you want to have kids, and marry when you want to marry too.
The only thing that I find embarrasing is marrying in a church, but that's because I'm an atheist and don't want to hear a bunch of fairy tales about magical beings with super powers in my wedding
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
9 Feb 11
I wasn't embarrassed at all when my husband and i get married on a church wedding, and i was already 4 months on the way then. My tummy is already protruding!
