Appearance of a second person in married life.
By DoctorDidi
@DoctorDidi (7018)
India
February 10, 2011 10:57am CST
What would happen if a second person appears in your married life? Would you reject the person immediately or carry on romance with that person without the knowledge of your spouse and if caught red handed, would claim it to be your legitimate right?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
11 Feb 11
I am not married but do live in a committed relationship with my boyfriend, so there would be no second person entering my life for romance reasons. I love my boyfriend very much and somehow can't imagine stricken and or ruining the relationship we have for somebody new.
It would be best for a person to break off their current relationship before starting another.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
11 Feb 11
I was married once before for a very long time my dear, and cheated on several times so I know a great deal about this topic. I would never cheat on any one I love and I would never cause pain to any one I love.
Why would anyone want to cause pain on their boyfriend/girlfriend or wife/husband, so I differ as to you saying I would have to wait a few years from now as firstly I have no plans to marry and secondly I would never allow another person enter my heart while my hear remains to another.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
11 Feb 11
DoctorDidi I read your comment above on how you say you cited an example, now I come back and wonder if you are citing an example have you actually lived it. As until you do you have no reason to say that I would perhaps after a few years feel differently and cheat.
If I did not love someone it would be easier to let go and not cheat. Cheating is not an obligation it is a bad choice and one I would never inflict on anyone.
@DoctorDidi (7018)
• India
11 Feb 11
As you are still now in deep love, the question does not arise in your case right now at this moment. All such marital problems arise after a couple of years together. So both of you I think would have to wait for another few years after your marriage to make any comment on this.
@celticeagle (166761)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Feb 11
If I were married I would have a comittment with my spouse. If we had agreed to an open marriage and I found someone i enjoyed spending time with then I would procede. Any relationship needs to have full communication and know what each expects from the other. IF that isn't happening then the whole thing is on a rocky road. And, no, I would not go
go forward with any romance and wouldn't be caught red handed. I would not want this to happen to me and I certainly would not do this to my spouse.
@Angelwriter (1954)
• United States
10 Feb 11
I wouldn't cheat on my spouse. It's wrong. There's no right to it. I think anyone who says they have a legitimate right to cheat is either just making excuses for what they know is wrong or is delusional if they actually believe what they're saying. I would try to remove myself from the temptation altogether.
@DoctorDidi (7018)
• India
11 Feb 11
Life could be so beautiful if none dared to cheat. There are cheaters and so there are so many problems in life and I have cited an example only.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
10 Feb 11
Are you talking about lovers? I'm very old fashioned. I Assume there will be lovers in my marriage. My marriage wouldn't be the modern thing , based on love. It would be my family marrying me off so I could have an heir for his family. And once I had at least two sons, Whatever he does is fine with me. And I would have lovvers too I assume. But since my family does not need me to marry to better the family, I never Will.
@DoctorDidi (7018)
• India
11 Feb 11
No, I am not talking about lovers. I have placed a practical phenomenon of life which happens in married lives of many a couple.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
11 Feb 11
Oh . Do you mean friends , in laws, or children. anyone a partner puts Before their spouse? Well , it is Suppose to happen with children . Ther moment a woman hears she is pregnant and she Wants the child , the child comes first. The husband is and always will be second from then on. The sad part is he doesn't know this going in. So the more time she is with the baby and he isn't with also , the more distasnt the marriage Can become. And in some cases this is when he takes his first lover. But for inlaws and friends. They Should Never come before your love. But if the love is waining or you never loved your spouse That much , friends and inlaws and ever sporting events can and wil come first.Did I answer it this time? If not Help!
@savypat (20216)
• United States
10 Feb 11
The most important thing in a marriage is trust, when that is gone the marriage may last but it will never be the same.
@DoctorDidi (7018)
• India
11 Feb 11
You are right; trust is every thing. If there is breach of trust from either of the sides, the relation seems to be ruined.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Feb 11
hi doctordidi if a second man were to show up when I was married
I would at once disabuse him of any romantic ideas as I was happily
married. It is never a person's legitimate right to cheat. I
meant my wedding vows. So I would never have cheated on my husband
as I kept my marriage sacred. 
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
12 Feb 11
I would never, ever cheat on my husband. This is actually a somewhat ironic question though because recently a friend of mine has come back into my life and her little brother was my first boyfriend. At this time in my life I believe that it is possible to have a friendship with her brother if we should ever encounter one another. However, I know that the romantic feelings that I used to have for him do not exist any more.
@tkonlinevn (6438)
• Vietnam
15 Feb 11
I hope that this won't occur in our life! As me, we should avoid this matter. It can broke happiness of our family. We shouldn't risk.
@akhileshebay (416)
• India
10 Feb 11
i would first choose either of them, and then will start affair with the chosen one.
