Loved ones in jail.. how do you cope?
@zoey7879 (3092)
Quincy, Illinois
February 10, 2011 6:06pm CST
My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. Last week, we had gotten into an argument about some things and I haven't heard from him since. Last night, I found out that he had been arrested just a couple of hours after the last time that we spoke.. over the very thing that we had been arguing about.
I found out that he will be in jail for no less than two to three weeks, but that is all I will know for a while. I dont have a phone so that he can call me, and he wont have the money to write until I am able to afford to send him a little bit.
There have been very, very few occasions during the 3 years that we've been together that we haven't said goodnight to each other.. and on those nights, I found that I was unable to sleep easy.. if I could sleep at all. I barely slept last night, despite the anti-anxiety medications that I take each night, and felt sick to my stomach most of the day.
How have you passed the time when your loved one was in jail?
2 people like this
10 responses
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
26 Mar 11
Hi. zoey7879. I am very sorry about your boyfriend being in jail, you must be really suffering right now, I am sure.
My uncle was in prison twice, for many years. He probably did up to 17 years in prison. It was very sad. I remember him getting out when I was in elementary school, then he went right back again while I was in middle school. I hope that your boyfriend will be out of jail very soon. I also hope that you two, can mend up any lost time together too.
My uncle was in prison twice, for many years. He probably did up to 17 years in prison. It was very sad. I remember him getting out when I was in elementary school, then he went right back again while I was in middle school. I hope that your boyfriend will be out of jail very soon. I also hope that you two, can mend up any lost time together too.@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
27 Mar 11
He got out on February 17, which I was really excited about.
Except I'm not sure that he really learned anything. We haven't talked much since about a week after he was released, for whatever reason, but that's on him. I just know that it hurt for him to be gone and that it was really hard. I've had friends that have went to prison, but after they were arrested I had a general idea of what was coming. They had family that could keep me informed. That wasn't the case this time :(
@Cherryd41 (1119)
• United States
11 Feb 11
Hi Zoey
Sorry to hear about your situation,my brother was in jail for 4 years but I didn't really have a hard time of it I had my own family to think of and I was busy working and raising my own family he called me a couple times and my mom would hear from him and let me know how he was doing but I have never had a boyfriend in jail that must be hard to be without the one you love especialy at bedtime and holidays
@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
11 Feb 11
We don't live together, but yeah.. it's hard at bedtime.. cause I can't say goodnight, and that's something that we've really stuck to since we got together.
@spiderlizard22 (3444)
• United States
11 Feb 11
Aren't you worried what might happen to him in jail?
@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
11 Feb 11
No, he can handle himself. I'm worried about how long he might be there, and what's going to happen in the future now.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
11 Feb 11
I know from past experience what it can be like to have someone you love in jail. Your hurt for them as much as yourself. the loneliness of not being with them can really weigh you down. The gossip behind your back from unknowing others can be the most difficult part of it all. all you can do is keep pushing forward until you are reunited once again.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
11 Feb 11
Oh this has to be hard, as although my boyfriend has never been in jail/thank God, but he was away with work for 17 days, and could call me I thought I was going to die. LOL..
So I can understand you missing him, the biggest issue is after he gets out, what future repercussions will this inflict on him in terms of a record and or future employment.
I see from you response that you are unsure if you should yell when he gets out, I can only advise that you at least speak to him, and calmly as this is quite an experience for him, however both of you brainstorm as to how he can move forward after this as last thing he would want is to have it linger and disrupt his future.
Best of luck and I will pray for you as I am sure this is very difficult for you to deal with.
@Sunehant (57)
• India
11 Feb 11
My dad was in jail for two long months and that was the first time I realized how important he was in my life. I have gone through sleepless nights with bad dreams if at all I could sleep. Just stay calm and pray dor him. Or it would be best if you go and meet him so that you will be a little relaxed
@beamer88 (4259)
• Philippines
11 Feb 11
I don't have any relatives or friends in jail but some close friends of mine do. And I know it is really very tough for someone to have a loved one incarcerated especially if they were wrongly accused. I've seen my friends lose weight, have sleepless nights and some times break down completely. But they hanged on. I guess one thing that helped them cope with the situation is talking to their friends. True friends will always be there in times of need. Prayers help a lot too.
@raj7shot (838)
• India
11 Feb 11
Dont worry friend.We dont know the reasons for jailing him anyway we all wish that he will come out soon.
Take care of your health...
@danny_streetlive (60)
• Bulgaria
11 Feb 11
I didn't have a girlfriend,who has been in jail yet.But I think when you are boyfriend was arrested you can wait him.If you are sure that it was a mistake-the arrest,so no problems.But if you know that hi has killed someone for exmaple,I think it would be better If you broked up and you find someone else.Also I think that the jail can be your "big test" of your love.
