I am such a big baby, but I held up my end of the bargain !

United States
February 10, 2011 7:42pm CST
Tuesday I had a big knot removed from my upper right leg. It showed up 8 yrs ago, and yes I put it off for all these years because of the fear of the medical procedure. I can't stand doctors. But honestly, if it was skin cancer like everyone kept telling me it , I didnt' want to know. I knew I had put it off way to long. The place had grown bigger and bigger , so in order for me to go, my husband made the deal with me; if he went and got a full blown physical then I would have the place removed. ( I was getting worried about his health ) So, I took the deal. Bless his heart he went over 3 months ago, and thank god came back with a prefect bill of health. So I go into the doctors office shaking,sick to my stomach, and with my husband holding my hand like a child. The doctor was fully aware of my fear of needles, so she put a deadening cream on it 30 min before the procedure which would help any normal person, not me. I needed to have been put to sleep. The doc. told me she wished I had taken something to calm me down prior to coming. Like a idiot I didn't. She begins to deaden it with the shot. I was laid down with my jacket over my face and squeezing his hand to the point of pain, and trying to not have a potty mouth lol. She kept saying I am so sorry, like it was her fault. I told her it was just me and to please just go keep on and do what you need to do. Okay, so we all thought it was dead, I didn't feel any test pokes, so she begins,and she tells me to scream if I felt any pain. I feel sure I would fill some tugging, but not pain..cause the area was dead. Then BOOM she hits one spot and I almost came off the table. I yelled " oh, potty word ". There was a tiny spot above the knot that did not deaden. She immediately and rushed for some more medicine but she kept putting it in that little area and it didn't want to deaden. I am not sure how many times it took for her to finally get it deaden. I think I had gone into space land, I was hyperventilating, and just trying to get through this god awful ordeal. She told me she felt like it was a hair follicle that got stopped up and grew a scab under my skin. She had some name for it but of course I don't remember. According to my husband the knot shaped like a ice cream cone once it was removed. The doctor was just wonderful and so caring which counts for a lot in my book, but I get home and of course take a pain pill like she said. The first night was rough because I was having to sleep on my back ( I am a stomach person ). I woke up in the middle of the night having a panic attack because of all the excitement that I had built up in my system, I am sure. Well we have had to change the bandage and I have had a panic attack each time, and that is me not even looking at it. So, tonight my husband says " you are just acting like a big baby, but I still love you " ( he wasn't trying to be mean, he was trying to make me laugh cause he knows it is still hurting me ) Then I am going to drop a griddle on it, and here I am now..yes acting like a big baby because it hurts, and I cannot stand pain. I am expecting the call on the test results tomorrow, but I am just so glad it is out and I am looking forward to a better PAIN FREE week.
1 person likes this
1 response
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
11 Feb 11
I know exactly how you feel, I am the same, I have told my doctor after many fights I don't want any more tests that they keep sending you to have every two years...she could not understand and I just told her I probably wouldn't let them do anything with what they found anyway...I don't have needles, I can remember at work there was a legionaireds scare and they were giving evryone needles I just said no and I don't want anyone sitting near me that has one today as they will still smell of whatever they put on them....yes I am a chicken I know but thats me...
• United States
11 Feb 11
Isn't that the truth..I have gone over and over in my head with all the "what if's" , and truthfully I am pretty sure I wouldn't allow any treatment to be done on me, if for some reason it was skin cancer. You got it right ..."thats just me" , either people accept it or they don't and if they don't , then it's their loss.