And this is LIFE...
By Stormy
@Little_Stormy (6883)
United States
February 14, 2011 9:56am CST
One of the best surprises in your life is when you discover something new about yourself or your life. For me, it's like opening the soul jackpot and being allowed to see what's inside. It might have been there all this time and I never noticed it, or perhaps it is new.. I'm not really sure.
After listening to my friend for over an hour and a half complaining about getting old, and figuring that I could sympathize with her (since I am 2 months older than she is!) I found something really amazing as I searched for words of sympathy and support. I found that I am at a perfect plateau in my life. Absolutely a fantastic place in time for me! (to bad she didn't see this too for her own life) I am finally at the age that I don't "need" friends, but I "want" them.
I have lost my fear of being alone somewhere, I'm not sure where or when this happened, but I don't crave company to settle some underlying fear of loneliness. I can just enjoy the company of a friend for no other reason but that I DO.
As for love, I am at the age where I love for no other reason, but that I love. I don't "need" it.. I "want" it, and somewhere and somehow, I don't even require that love returned. I'd like it to be returned, but it's not something that I "need". I "love" for myself and just because I do. I'm happy with my own company and able to buy my own flowers and still feel like I got them from someone special... being able to decorate my own soul with love and friendships. I have met and even got to hold my soul mate and I've had friends that filled my need for company. I have been very blessed.
I'd like to grow old with someone by my side, but if that isn't in my cards or if fate doesn't see fit that I should have that.. It's fine. The important thing is that no one is stopping me from loving who I want to, not even me. In my younger years I thought that you could only love those who loved you.. and if those two bridges didn't line up.. you had no other choice but to burn your bridge and destroy your own love because it wasn't returned to you.
Foolish! Foolish me!
I can love whomever I please, and even if the person doesn't respond.. I still reap the richest benefits for having loved.
Yes, quite an amazing time in life. And kind of sad, Why couldn't I have had this earlier in my life?
I love, I feel, I have what I have.... because I WANT to.
What about you?
2 people like this
5 responses
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Feb 11
my you have become self sufficient and a very wise person. your words reminded me of a little discussion i had with my late hubby. I used to love that song, sweet dreams, because of the words "everyone wants to use you, everyone wants to be used by you" and i said once, thats why we are involved with people. we need different people for different things and they need us the same. otherwise we dont have a relationship with them. and my hubby always said he didnt believe that. he wanted me to WANT him, not need him. 
of course i said i wanted him also, but because of the want, i needed him for that love, he never understood what i was talking about. but maybe you do since you have approached that subject. 
of course i said i wanted him also, but because of the want, i needed him for that love, he never understood what i was talking about. but maybe you do since you have approached that subject. @Little_Stormy (6883)
• United States
15 Feb 11
I absolutely understand what your husband was saying! :)
The word "need" has so many different sides to it. I believe that he was telling you that he wanted you to love because you want to and not be dependent on him for every avenue of happiness. To some, the word "need" conjures up a whole different view.
I also see your view of the word as well. Wanting someone to the point of "needing" that person in your life.. not to depend on but to make you feel complete. Finding the other half of you is like finding the missing piece of puzzle. You were greatly blessed to have that feeling of completion. So many people NEVER have that in their lifetime. 
Let me ask you a question...
Let's say that you hire a maid.. would you want that maid to wait on you because she truly likes you and wants to help you or would you rather help you because it was her job and she HAD to?
Let me ask you a question...
Let's say that you hire a maid.. would you want that maid to wait on you because she truly likes you and wants to help you or would you rather help you because it was her job and she HAD to?@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
15 Feb 11
exactly. id want her to like me enough to enjoy her job. i had a job taking care of an elderly lady once that i really liked. it was less like a job then a friend situation. 
so, i know what you mean. just dont express it as well. Now i know, John was my missing puzzle peice1 person likes this
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
14 Feb 11
I've always been a lone wolf. I never really felt like needing someone for comfort. Although I have friends. It's just that, like you, I can also do things on my own without seeking friends if ever I crash and burn.
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
14 Feb 11
Welcome to wisdom Stormy! Though I do agree, I too wish I'd had/known this earlier in life, but that is the nature of our journey through this mortal coil. I am so glad to have seen this from you. Hold on to the message you've so beautifully written..........
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
18 Feb 11
How beautifully written! I so wish I knew then what I know now! I look back at the things that used to worry me and how many times I would lose myself for someone who was not even worth my time! These days I can actually say that I like who I am and for someone like me that is huge! I will not compromise my standards, views and integrity for anything or anyone and you know what? I am a darn good mother who is bringing up an exceptional human being, I like being me and I love being alone too. We need to get older to ‘get it’ although I hope my daughter does a lot sooner than I did!
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
6 Mar 11
This is a hard lesson for many people, because we are programmed, by our parents, our churches, the TV and Movie industry, Radio, newspapers, teachers, friends, neighbors, that we NEED things to be happy.
But, happiness doesn't come from getting something, it comes from becoming something.
You do not NEED to get a smile to give a smile, but smiling still makes you feel better? So share freely right.
It is a great lesson to be learned and I greatly appreciate you sharing your take on it.
Sincerely and With Appreciation.
1 person likes this
