Sometimes advice columns hit really close to home

Great article. I now know why so many women find out about the lover and yet they stay.They don't want to face the truth.Because if they face the truth , they would have to leave.It must be tiring to snoop. Me? I really don't care what a husband does. The thought of Having to snoop akes me feel tired. As for you , you Have to sit down and think what will truly make you happy. If it is staying and raising the kids , then do it.If There is a way for you two to coexist And be happy , then do it. But if it is really over, then you have to end it. It will be a huge adjustment but it is worth it. A happy mom is better than a miserable one. Your kids Need a happy mom. All I can say is follow your bliss. You deserve to be happy.

That is a difficult part of any divorce.. not only the fact that you have help with the kids, housework, and all that, but also the financial support as well. It's understandable that you'd want to drag your feet a little bit. You're giving up a lot here, not only all the attitude, anger, manipulation, but also the support and help. It will take some time to transition to doing it all yourself.

You are doing the right thing by the sound of it. Sometimes when you begin to doubt your decision something happens to remind why you are doing what you are doing at the moment. I know that it is difficult to be a single parent without the help but you know what? You can buy take out when you feel crappy, you can hire a maintenance man to repair things around the house or mow the lawn, someone to clean the house and a good babysitter. It sounds expensive but it is worth your piece of mind. Your child does not need someone yelling at him for having an ‘accident’ it is very detrimental...Stick to your resolve...

Don't read advice columns?

It's not going to change and it's not going to get better. And yes, it's scary thinking about having to do things you haven't done, because someone else took care of it, but... You're smart enough, have the initiative/drive, etc. and you'll get it all done...and probably even better. The faster this divorce goes through, the better for the kids, you and even R. He just doesn't know it yet.

dawn this situation reminded me of why I stuck it out and wasted twenty years. Somehow we can see what is wrong and do not let go. I tell you that I wished I had not waited so long as I did but now I can't take back time. Although it was clear as day I somehow could not let go and life past me by. So please remember that 10 more years will be going by and exactly where you want to be.

The screaming is not called for. Is the stress causing Cary to have accidents? I do not think it is good for any of you and you will do better once it is all over with. I think you need to hear this from all of your friends.

IS he still living there? yup ya probably will miss that but you wont miss the bad parts the anger

I understand your predicament since I have been divorced. And let me tell you that's its not easy being on your own....but being single has it's rewards. To find someone now would be a miracle for me. I have bought and paid for my own home...drive a nice car. Have very little debt. Travel alot..most of the time when a man comes into my life they feel the need to "tell me what I need to do"????? WTF...like I have made it on my own...published three books...have my own business? So it would take a real saint at this point to interest me....oh..and they have to like doing craft shows too! LOL

The screaming at the child for having an accident is something that was uncalled for. All children have accidents from time to time and it is something as a parent that we need to know how to deal with. I can also see why Cary was secretive about it because something like this is embarrassing to everyone. The part of you that doesn't want the divorce is the selfish part of you. However, I think that life for you and for the children will be far better once everything is said and done.

dawn hi! How r u & family? I haven't been here lately due to my laptop crash & had to get it repaired.... Your a strong woman even without R u can do all those others, I think it's just getting used to the idea that u have to handle the adult stuff yourself.. But yes u have your kids to help with little stuff.. I think you will always have the memories good & bad... I don't think anyone will like going thru handling the process of a divorce but once it's done & completed you can take care of other important stuff... I think so much anger & temper from a parent can have an affect on the kids & soon when divorce is final maybe the kids & u can relax a little & enjoy their parents even if living in different places... The kids can feel it too when the parents aren't getting along even if they don't hear u yelling at each other.. Hope everything gets better after the divorce & for the kids well being so they can enjoy both their parents.. I do read advice columns but I don't always listen to them, but that's just my opinion.. Have a great day mylotting...

I could imagine what a difficult situation you must be in, after probably so many years of being married and with the same person. But if the love isn't there anymore and all that's left is disappointment, arguements, temper and his manipulation you are probably better of alone. A friend of mine is going through a similar situation and every night we talk and she is practically in tears,but a few months ago she made the decision she was leaving. And she hasn't regreted yet, she is actually enjoying life a bit more with her two kids.

Wow! Awesome article...no sugar coating at all lol. I'm sorry for your situation with your marriage. It's not good on your nerves and not good at all for the kids, even if ya'll don't argue in front of them they can still sense something's not right. As for all the little things that having a husband around for, you will very much miss that part. I know when I got divorced I felt so lost and alone. But eventually I found my footing and became stronger. I was able to find friends that could fix the "honey-do" projects rather than depending on my ex.