His FB account

I would probably mention to him, "Honey, you left your facebook open last night. I see you have a lot of messages." and just generally talk, but judge how he responds. If he was a cheater before you married, he quite likely would do the same now if given the chance. I hope not, though. Many people believe that online flirting is harmless. I am not sure that I agree with that, though.

hi there, i think it wont be bad if you open his messages. there should be trust and openness in each and every relationship. if you see nothing wrong, then great, but if theres something wrong, then tell him and ask him about it. if there really is something wrong in some of the messages there, at least you know, rather than know nothing about it :(

It's a trap! He wants to know if you trust him completely! So, if I were you, I'd take a peek and be quiet about it. If I discover something fishy or something not to my liking, I'll take note and vow to do my best to change the situation. You got to fight for your spouse. That is why you are called the better half. A spouse is meant to enhance the partner so that he/she would become a better person.

If I was in your position and he's cheated in the past then it would be harder to trust and I may take a peek to see who's he writing too and the reason behind it but I probably will not read them all. Just see if they're male/female, a lot of messages or not.. because I would feel that I have some sort of right & it's not like you left the page open, he did! I hope it wasn't anything though.

My husband and i knows each other's fb password as it is save in the computer, we can open it anytime we want if we want to, as my husband and i were open to each other. In your case, well you have mention that you were bestfriends even before you are married and i think you still are? i think as bestfriends you know whats going on with each other and who you are communicating with, how much more as husband and wife,. Maybe, one time you sit with your husband when he opens his fb i think as friends you do that and ask him oh you've got message, i think if he isn't hiding anything, he wouldn't mind opening his messages while you are watching as well, just a suggestions though.

We'd be hiding our heads in the sand if we believed that somebody might not try to lure our spouse into a relationship. And with that said we'd also be crazy if we monitored every phone call or email that came through. In our home I have my husband's password and he has mine. Has he checked on my account maybe,however I have no secrets and I would have no qualms checking his. But,that is because we discussed this early on and agreed to share our password. I wouldn't feel right checking his emails or phone messages because like you said who knows what you'd find and on the same hand I wouldn't want him sneaking around. I realize you stumbled into it on accident, but I would bring up this discussion with your husband and see if you both can make the logical agreement to share passwords and confide in him your concerns and your experiences. This is a healthy approach to this issue, discuss, communicate. Just knowing my husband has access makes me think twice on what I say, not that I have anything to hide but it is a loving reminder that the words that I type, write or say can affect my relationship so I hold myself to accountability and expect my husband to do the same. Trust but don't be foolish. Make it an open policy upfront with your spouse and agree that facebook is not a place for secrets.

unless he'd given you reason,i wouldn't. most of those 225 messages are probably junk.it's extremely easy to accrue that on FB,because people are always sending jokes and stuff. i delete a ton of stuff myself everyday just from groups overthere.

Hi Dainy, You sound so worried. I say, "don't look" unless you are prepared to handle the worst. If it were me, I'd be torn too, given his past and your father's past. If you really trust him then don't go there.

oohhh i have learned a dozen times not to intrude and invade my huby's privacy! but then intruding made me see a lot of things. back then..way way back, i also tried opening my huby's friendster account ( there was no fb back then) and i did read emails that did hurt me and so called affairs that was hurting and frustrating..but i am glad i read it and i also do open his mobile when he isn't looking hahaha and i did found out about a lot of things...but that was a way..he got mad, i got mad..but we got to a point where he admitted and i admitted my mistakes too..and we did reach the point of healing now and we are better persons to each other. Not that i am telling you to open and read the messages, the outcome may not be as the same as mine...so do think first if you trust him or not

I require transparency in marriage or any serious relationship.Thats the way to build trust. Dainy there is nothing wrong checking his email account as a wife but you both should have such prior agreement and i should work both way.You should allow him to access your account as well.

I wouldn't. I know that if you let you insecurities in, it would eat at you. If you are really troubled, then just ask your husband. Tell him that he left his FB open, but you never looked at his messages. And then ask him if there was something that he wanted to tell you. If you love him, and he loves you, then you should be able to trust him.

Hi dear, The common opinion is NOT to go through the account. The reasons also genuine. Means all of us have a kind of secrecy in life and if we maintain those things not disclosed and enjoy them separately or privately. If you don't look on those things both the parties will have the peace of mind. Suppose you have a glance on it and you found nothing extra ordinary and all are cool in nature and later you may have a feel of 'not have to'. Again, he realises that you noticed it and not mentioned... etc. Which again may lead to uneasiness. Also, you have a look and find something inappropriate and you keep doubt on him, where as for him all such things are common and handles just for fun and nothing serious. This also, you will keep in your mind and never disclosed or discussed and when time passes, the magnitude of doubts and uneasiness increases and finally which will lead to unwanted scenes at home. So, let it be as it is and whatever it is. After all, if we interfere into other personal or private life, may be it is husband or wife or elder children like daughter or son, we got limit and beyond that we should not go. We should respect their privacy and it is a kind of understanding. But in our home, we all share our accounts as it is our practice. Now my son and daughter is sitting beside for them to check their FB and given me 5 mts. to complete to the discussion with you. Let me give some time for them and I will back, be around and have a nice day. Thank-s

The question I have to ask here is this....unless you had already opened his messages folder and counted the messages how would you know how many he had? Now, on FB if the tab for messages has a little box beside it and the little box has 225 then that means he has 225 messages that he HASN'T read. Are you sure it was messages and not maybe posts to his FB wall? Does he play any of the games on FB and have a lot of neighbors on those games that post things to his wall? There are 3 little tabs on FB, one is for friend requests, the one in the middle is messages and the last tab is notifications which are things posted to the FB owner's wall. If you were able to tell he really has 225 without opening his messages folder, then I don't think you have anything to worry about because he didn't think they were important enough to read. If it was 225 notifications then those are just simple postings for games that his friends and neighbors are playing...asking for this or that to complete something within that game.

continue your trust in your husband. If you really want to see his mails sit beside him while he is searching in his fb account and ask him if he will allow you to read those messages that reaches 225.

Hi. dainiy1313. I know that you don't want to discover the truth. Just don't open it, I would hate to see you in tears and in rage. I hope that your husband is being faithful to you and only you. I am sorry that you had to deal with "cheaters" in the past.

I know it would be very tempting to open it and look... My husband read my facebook account, I don't have anything to hide and I would not blame him if he take a look of my inbox. I don't think there is anything wrong to open your husband facebook's inbox. I don't think each other shuold hide things in between a husband and wife.

Hi Don't want to be a sad sack but if he cheated before and you knew about it then what makes you think he will quit. Is he older then you or younger or the same age? Is this man a good looking man? I have been married a few times and found that a man that cheats will keep cheating no matter who he is married too. If it was my ex's FB I would look. I don't have to look at my husbands now cause he don't use FB....LOL But if he did I wouldn't with this man. If I was with a man that I knew cheated before I would definitely open his emails. I would look for my own peace of mind and if I didn't find anything I would tell him and tell him I was sorry. If you find something your going to have to face him one way or another. Good luck on what ever you decide to do. Pray about it if you don't trust him do what you think is best for you!

One of my friend's Facebook account also had close six months back. Because he had continuously sending friendship requests to his friends. Then the FB admin was eliminate his registration in facebook. Till now it is like that only. And, congrats to your hubby.

If you need to see the emails, your marriage is already over. If you can't trust your husband, you have no marriage. If his having an affair, on some level you already know it. If he isn't having one, not trusting him will surely give him the reason to start one. We must believe in our partners and trust them. Once the trust is gone so is the love. Don't paint you husband with the brush of your fathers sins.

I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I mean you two are marry right? If you didn't have rights who does. However I do think you should trust him and trust yourself for making the right choice. :)