To praise or not to

I think praising children is a good thing and you can do it for every good thing your child did. People said praising the child would lead to overconfident but I think confidence is what needed in my country. I live in thailand and people here are so shy that they dont speak up for themselves and ended up gossiping people who did! Everytime someone does something good he/she would say "No, i didn't do good, i'm bad, bla bla bla". Where do you think this attitude come from? Of course, their parents! I'm medical student and I study psychology and it's said somewhere in the book that if you keep discouraging your child and give no praise the children may grown up and with obsessive-compulsive personality. I would rather see my child growing up overconfidence than underconfidence because confidence isn't something you can have overnight. I will give you my experience. In the class my teacher asks about the major function of hormone ADH -anti-diuretic hormone. You know, in medical school everyone is extremely smart but nobody raise their hands and said "I know, I know!" it's just me! out of 154 MEDICAL STUDENT there's only me who raise the hand and answer the simplest question! At the end of class friends around me said why are you so confidence ( ok this comment is good i like it ) While i heard some friends said "What is so great about him (me) I too know the answer (Yeah, why dont you answer). See the problem? When people who has no confidence gathered around and make a society, people who have great confidence would be to blame ( like me in the example ). So I think confidence is a good thing nowadays. Just praise your child when he should be praise and everything will be fine.

Overdoing it may ruin the good sense of praising little children. We can do it in moderation, enough for them to gain confidence, enough for them to know that they've been appreciated, then I guess everything will go right. Setting up the limitations is on how much the child needs to have his confidence boosted!

I do not think there is any such thing as overconfidence for a child. I believe they should be praised in public and in private but only criticized in private and then gently and with some praise mixed in. There is a difference between having confidence and having false pride. If a child is taught not to have false pride, then public praise with not spoil her (or him).

I don't think it matters where one praises a child as long as it's done when the child does the right thing. Also, depending on the child's personality is how one should approach the praising. What I mean is, one child might be shy and doesn't want a lot of attention from the public so it's good to go easy with the praise so it's between you and the child. Whereas another child might be outgoing and therefore would welcome the public display of praise. So it all depends on how the child will accept the praise regardless of if it's in public or not.

We should praise the kids if they do good things and need to remind with them when they do bad things

praise the child whenever it is needed. the parent would know if he/she needs to give his/her child praise. i think you can feel it that praise is due. do not hesitate, we are discussing of overpraised. what do you think will happen if we did not praise the child?

Well in my opinion it shouldn't matter where you praise them. I praise my children for doing good in and out of public. if they are always ONLY scolded in public they aren't going to want to go anywhere with you and may feel like you are ashamed of them. All praise or discipline can be done in public. if your child acts out and you think he/she deserve a time out it can be done in public. Some people don't think they can cause it's "embarrassing" but really if you do it in public then they know not to misbehave. my discipline in public is putting my 4 yr old in the cart if she doesn't listen to me or my man.

Good question and not sure I guess I have done obth to my kids and rgrand daugther DOnt think it hurts to give them confidene in themselves let them know they reallycan do what they want it life and if owrked at can accel

Children need to be praised in public to boost their confidence level. They will not become overconfident by doing. Handling children and praising are good things. Children would love to be praised. Even we are praised in public, we would not become overconfident right.

Hi SV! I may tell at the outset that this discussion of yours is the highest rated discussion dated 20.2.2011. Congratulations on starting such an interesting discussion, as you always do !!! I think that if our child excels in any field, there is nothing wrong if s/he is praised in public. For me public here means that known to people, not strangers. I would find it utterly embarrassing to praise my own children in front of strangers. My son is good at studies and therefore, whenever I get an opportunity to tell about him I do not hesitate to highlight his achievements. I praise him when he is with at a public place or even if he is not with me. I keep reminding him that your achievements are not only important for you but it will also enhance our reputation as your parents and the 'respect' is most precious gift, you can give to your parents. And he 'understands' how he can keep it up and he works hard for it. I do not believe in criticising my children in public, as it may demoralise them. I keep telling them about their negative traits when at home and ask them to rectify it for their own betterment.

I believe that when the child has done something good he should be praised at that moment itself. They should only be praised when they have improved in something. Not everytime they do something good but when they do something better. Whether we are in a public place or at home. This does help them improve themselves.

I guess to me it doesn't matter whether it's done in home or public, as long as the child knows what it's all about. If they become too cocky or overconfident, just straighten them out. Our child will know that we always mean it because my wife & I will always stand together & not be manipulated to disagree with each other in front of the child if we were to discipline him. Children are very smart, they even know whether or not when parents are genuinely really praising them or just plainly using hem to boast in front of others

I think the parents should not follow a single thing alone. Just do the needful according to the situation. Sometimes you have to praise them in the public and sometimes you have to do it in private. You have to maintain their ego without making them over confident. It is very tricky and hence they call, parenting is an art.

It depends on us of how to praise the child.. They should not be praised for every small small things because they may feel overconfident that they can do everything and this mat create a disaster. But it doesnt mean that they should not be praised at all. They should be praised for the things which we had not thought they can do i.e beyond their usual capabilities and be sure that they have to be praised little bit or child may be lost in under confidence

Personally I think when it comes to Praising a child and tell him or her that you are proud of them for what they have just done is something a parent should never be afraid to do. I think it personally helps their self confidence and gives them a desire to want to keep on getting these praises as well. When you are afraid to do this in public, it could mean you were never taught something like this, and afraid your child might look at you strange as well.

First I have to say , I am not a parent nor will I ever be . Now I think it deoends on the child. Some children come out of the womb So Confident. And others never seem to have any confidence at all. For the first child , not he/she doesn't need it. They will just be Overconfident. But the second , needs praise and encouragement. If they child is in the middle of these extremes? Then praise them every once in a while. It all depends on he child.

Hi Sviswan, I think the extremes are rather negative. So we can just praise them when necessary when its needed, when kids really made an effort to gain it. My parents didn´t praised me too much, almost never, no matter where were we. And my aunt praised their children everywhere even, really everywhere no matter where they were or whom they were... so we say here... the candle to the saint... not to close... not to far... hehehe. Blessings!... Dainy

I am commenting as a person who received no praise whatsoever from my parents and that is no exaggeration! I did receive a lot of abuse and criticism instead but that is for another discussion! I have a daughter whom I praise privately and in public because I don’t want her to grow up as my sister and I did with no self-confidence at all and plenty of self-hatred. My child has a healthy self-esteem although she is very sensitive and somewhat shy. I do not consider her to be over confident at all. I think praise is paramount and it does depend on the individual child as to when it is issued.

It's a balance between the two. If you constantly demand they get better, kids end up frustrated and resentful. On the other hand, if you praise them for everything, even if they didn't do well, they'll end up not seeing a need to improve themselves. I'm so great, I don't need to get better.

Praise those who deserve it, if your kid deserve it, whether in public or not.. give it to your child.