Why can't my family see the good in this guy I want to be with forever?
By Lizzy
@lizzyt2007 (1312)
Craig, Alaska
February 22, 2011 12:20pm CST
I am a adult living on my own. I have dated and married and divorced my high school sweet heart. I understand why I divorced him but that don't stop me from caring about him. My family (mother, sister, brother, step-dad) don't like this guy cause they say he don't really care about me and my son and he lies. I say in his defense that he tries to do good and he don't lie to me. My son was taken care of when we were together. I divorced him cause he left us and moved out of state. He's back in state and in another town cause I live near my family that hates him. When he's around me and my son my mother freaks out on him. I love and my so and I miss him. yes he left but he wants us back and I wouldn't get back with him without dating him again to see if he's truly changed and wouldn't leave us again. He says he won't and he left cause my family told him I said to. which was not true. He says also he had it with them ruling our lives. Why can't my family just back off and let me make my own decisions on this matter? my son is 6 yr. and he remembers when he used to play with his daddy and everything was good when he was a lone with daddy. I wouldn't always go to town with my husband and son. That's why he misses him. Now I keep my friendship relationship with my guy from my family and I hate that. I want to tell them I'm going to see him this summer. but can't they'd tell me I am not smart on this whole idea. Mylotters whats your advice I can do about my family that tries to control this situation? they think I need someone new, but that's hard cause of my personality, and me being mentally slow at times.
2 people like this
3 responses
@JohnMach (550)
• Philippines
26 Feb 11
Relatives are like that. They try to see if someone you'll introduce to the whole clan will be alright because you are introducing someone in your family. That's a big thing. You just have to understand them. If you really think that this person is the best for you they will settle down and be disappointed with their actions.
2 people like this
@lizzyt2007 (1312)
• Craig, Alaska
27 Feb 11
This is tougher than that. He's not new in my life. My family sorta knows him for years. I know him much better since high school. I just don't see why they see him differently him then me. I see good in him, they see bad in him to much they say. All my family say I could do better for me and my son.
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
23 Feb 11
We don't often see the same qualities in the ones we care about that other people do. We can't force our way of thinking and feeling on someone else. Opinions and views have to come from your own heart. Acceptance of an individual has to start there. As much as you love somebody, you can't make your family feel the same way you do. that is up to them.2 people like this
@lizzyt2007 (1312)
• Craig, Alaska
23 Feb 11
your right about my family. I just don't understand what they see in my ex that I don't see. I've been thinking for a long time about everything I know about him and so of it matches up and other things don't. I can't imagine my family lieing to me like my ex said all those years. So if he truly has changed I will let him prove him self before I get in a real relationship with him. thanks for your words.
1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
23 Feb 11
Your family was the outside and they saw with objective eyes that someone they love was hurting. So it is not usual for them to be ecstatic about the person who they saw at the time as horrible to suddenly now be happy to have him back in your life.
So it will take time and if he truly loves you he is the one who will have to prove, not by words but his actions that he has no intention of hurting you again. Unfortunately it can take a very long time and in some cases families do not completely forgive.
So my best advice would be to at some point you explain to them that although you respect them for caring about you that this is a decision you will be making and you would appreciate it if they at least not directly be rude and or make connotations that perhaps may somehow get to your son's ears that may taint his feelings about his father.
What you do of course is your choice and if you feel this is right, I wish you well as it has to be a very difficult situation you are in as you love them all.
Best of luck to you with your situation.
2 people like this
