parenting

I have spoken with many who lived a life of abuse as children, physical, mental and emotional abuse. I myself did not escape unscathed. It took me many years to come to understand and forgive, and to accept. I learned that my father did the best he could with what he had to work with. That I was the foil for his insecurities, his greatest fear for failure and his hope for success. As the oldest I was the one who was the experiment, the trial and err kid, the lessons learned on me were the lessons applied to the younger children. I was held to harsher standards and yes made responsible for the faults of the others. As a child I did not understand these things, I accepted the responsibility for my father and for my brothers, and yes even my mother who wasn't as strong as she might have been, although I did not realize this until my later years. I grew to understand the grandparents I loved so dearly raised each of their children differently, that the standards for one were not the standards for all, and my father did what he had been taught by them, as they were taught by their parents. It was all he knew. Today I consider myself fortunate to have had books available to me, books that opened worlds that taught me that my father's and grandfather's ways were not the only ways. That open discussion worked better than a closed fist, or a belt across the buttocks and legs. I think perhaps your son will learn not so much to question the love, but to accept the fear that lies behind that love, and to realize that while he has his own hopes and dreams so does a father for his son...and the regret that the son will make some choices that are as poor as the choices the father has made and the pride that other choices will be better than the choices the father has made. We all do it. The best we can with what we have to work with...and sometimes, most times we fear that whatever it is, it isn't enough.

I was brought up by father like this. If we commit mistakes, the whip we will get is the age we have in that present time.I was whip 11 times since that time my age is 11 years old.