What would you do if a guy you like actually wants to date you friend?
By bluangel628
@bluangel628 (383)
Philippines
February 23, 2011 11:00pm CST
This experience happened to me during my high school days. I liked this guy so much and was excited when he's like feeling the same way as I am. He acts as if he's courting me and our so called "relationship" became a campus rumor. Of course I felt really good about it but was dismayed one day when he told me his true intentions. It was like I was struck with a lightning bolt. I was so hurt that I was not able to come to school the next day. He asked me to be his confidante with regards to his feelings for my friend. He even wanted me to tell my friend how he truly feels. I just can't tell him that my friend knew my feelings for him and that she might decline his advances through me. Despite of the hurt I felt, I managed to smile and put it all behind me. Just as expected, my friend turned him down and even told him to court me instead. Of course I did not let that happen and drifted away from his company.
Have you experienced this? What did you do?
2 people like this
14 responses
@bluangel628 (383)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
I don't want to be in a rebound relationship and I would not consider myself as second to anyone. It has always been my goal to try not to be the second choice. I want a person to like me not because they were told to like me but like me because they do. Thanks for responding and happy mylotting.
@jennyze (7028)
• Indonesia
24 Feb 11
Aw. That was awful of him to use your affection to get to your friend. He must have known you like him and still continue to act as though he is courting your friend. Lucky that you got away from him, nothing good would come up from an opportunist.
I've never experienced this before, but I would do just like you. Put on a smile and say what need to be said to the guy, and tell my friend about his intention, and cut ties form the guy.
@bluangel628 (383)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
I thought so as well. Maybe he knew after all that I feel something for him. Good for him that my friend took no interest on him. It's like karma working it's way to get him.
@laniekins (4579)
• Philippines
24 Feb 11
It happens to me a few years ago, I had a crush at my present bf, I was attracted to him but I don't know if he feels the same way too although he shows some signs. A few weeks he courted my workmate/friend and they were become gf/bf after few days. I force my self to not like him anymore cause he's my friends bf. I hated the guy cause he always annoys me, well he like annoying people. After few months I leave the company and I've learned that they guy and my friend has separated. The guy text me and he wants to reconcile with my friend and I will be the bridge. I accept it and ask my friend if she wants to talk to him. She refuse and she said she is starting to see someone else.
We became friends and I stop seeing me friends and the gang, until he courted me and I fall in love with him. And now, we are still together for 6 years turning 7 years. My friend is married and has a child, we bump into each other about twice only.
@bluangel628 (383)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
That's nice to hear. At least he somehow seen you. And I'm glad to know that the two of you share a relationship that was bound to last. I wish you all the happiness. Happy mylotting!
@laniekins (4579)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
Yes, I am happy with him and I hope our relationship last forever.
Thanks for the wishes! I wish the same for you! 
@toniganzon (72532)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
I was in high school too when i experienced this. It's almost similar. I had a crush on this classmate who was actually my seat mate but almost girls liked him. He was like crush ng bayan or everybody's desire. We were pretty close and i was hoping that somehow he likes me but then he told me he's interested in one of my friends. That did't hurt me and i took it as a privilege to be more closer to him and hoping his attention would divert to me since my friend didn't like him at all. When my friend refused him, i was the one who got hurt and cried though.
When i think about it now, i found it very silly. But i was young then! 
@bluangel628 (383)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
I also experienced crying for a guy I like when the girl he likes turned him down. This one is a totally different scenario. The guy is my close friend but he said he's in love with this girl and when he came up one day and told me she turned him down, I cried with him. Funny but true. Thanks for responding and happy mylotting!
@l0vxXmusic (179)
• United States
25 Feb 11
hmmmm okai im going to pretend i dont hve a boyfriend.. but i would answer honestly if i wasnt in a relationship..
okai.. hmmmm.. it would seriously suck, and it would hurt, but i;d get over it but im the type tht doesnt make a huge deal abt alot of this.. i mean if he doesnt like me and likes my friend.. its cool. as long as we could be friends,, you know if he and my friend hooked up then i';d be happy for themm
and aawww im soOOoo sorry tht happened to you. .. but aahh. im sorry i hvnt really been in this kind of situation like this ever.. mine was like really-really off, and i mean that it was really different
@bluangel628 (383)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
Thanks for responding. I know you kind of emphatized at my fate. But that was way back in high school. I have moved on and is married to a great guy. Happy mylotting.
@cryingjoker (47)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
I had same experience of yours but my friend accepted his courtship and they became lovers. My friend and I liked the same guy and I felt dismay at first because I've lost him since he's the first guy I got that feeling of desire to be my boyfriend. But, since he liked my friend I just accept the fact and be happy for them. I focused on my studies and graduated with flying colors.Now, i realized that maybe he's just my high school failed love and not the true one because as I grew older the type/qualities of the man I want is far from him. The guy and my friend broke up after a year when they got into college meeting other people and far apart from each other. I am now happily married with may soulmate-the guy who is my "perfect match".
@bluangel628 (383)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
Very similar experience here. As I look back at what happened, I ask myself why was I ever involve with such guy? Rude? Nah, just being honest. He's far from whom I am with now. Thanks for responding and happy mylotting!
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
24 Feb 11
oh yes it is a horrible thing to happen but once a fella shows this then it is time he goes, loyalty to you is number one in a relationship.
@bluangel628 (383)
• Philippines
24 Feb 11
Well, the thing is we really didn't have the relationship. I just assume that he feels the same way and got dismayed at the end. But if in case he did court me, I would not want to be the rebound relationship. Besides, what he did was liked manipulated me for his advantage. I guess I'm still lucky not have him as my boyfriend because he's a manipulative person. Thanks for responding and happy mylotting.
@CynergyDiva (805)
• Canada
30 Mar 11
I think this young man had a lot of nerve leading you on like that just to use you to get next to your friend. If I had been in that situation, I suppose I would have just walked away the second he asked me such a thing. If he wanted to date my friend, then he'd have to do his own asking. I'm happy for you that at least your friend showed good loyalty to you and your friendship.
xoxo
Cyne
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
24 Feb 11
It would certainly be a crushing blow to my ego to know the guy i like likes my friend instead. it can be taxing on your relationships with both of them. Still, i would not want to deny anyone happiness. If my friend and this guy could build a relationship together, I would not stand in the way and i would do my best to support them. My feelings may be hurt but the friendship is something i may not want to sacrifice.@bluangel628 (383)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
I won't trade friendship to some selfish desire. Besides it was not my friends fault if the guy i like likes him. I'd see it as a destiny. He was not for me and never will be. Thanks for responding and happy mylotting.
@codysmacks (102)
• India
24 Feb 11
Aww.. This is really bad.. It had never happened to me, And i hope that it will never happen to me ever. So even if it happens, I will feel happy for my friend, because he got a nice and good girl ( since i like her she must be nice and good ), On the other hand, I really feel Sad for that girl that she didn't get me. LOL...
@bluangel628 (383)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
That's a good moving forward thing for you if in case such mishap will come you way. I had moved on as well. Just a vivid memory of a first heart break.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
25 Feb 11
I don't think I could hang with them anymore, not that often but I wouldn't cut with her, but I would get away cause I'm a human and would still have feelings for him and now that he wants her I won't get in the way plus I would never fight to a girlfriend because of a guy.
But I would need a distance until see my feelings gone.
And in the moment he told me he wants her or something, I would ask her, who knows? I might be the one responsible for the man of her life and have to introduce them. I think we have some kind of missions in life, things we need to do and we never know when these comes.
@bluangel628 (383)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
I tried doing that but that time i don't like the guy. He just asked me if he could court my friend to me. Well, they ended up being bfs and gfs but then the guy just broke the girl's heart. It made her stronger though but I'll never try to matchmake again. I don't want to be blamed. Thanks for responding and happy mylotting!!!
@Liliac26 (557)
• Romania
24 Feb 11
I have experience this. The only difference in my case is that the friend did date the guy for a while.
I didn't do anything. What can you do in such circumstances, other than grin and bear it? Everyone has the right to date whoever they like and you can't force people to fall in love with you.
@bluangel628 (383)
• Philippines
24 Feb 11
Good point on that. That's exactly how I dealt with it. Grin and bear but cry at the background. Not literally cry but console a broken heart. Thanks for responding and happy mylotting.
@kheydia (882)
• Philippines
24 Feb 11
oh he is just using you in that case, my case is different, well maybe i was just imagining that he likes me as well. But if i am at your case i would do the same that is a very hurtful thing and it would turn out that you are the 2nd choice or a consolation prize if you had let him court you.
@bluangel628 (383)
• Philippines
24 Feb 11
Yes. That's what I thought as well. I thought he used me to be near my friend. I feel like hating him but oh well, I'm in a happier relationship and with a person who deserves me more. Thanks for responding and happy mylotting.
@hemlockspruce25 (501)
• Philippines
24 Feb 11
Well, is there something you can do about it? Perhaps this guy is really not destined to be yours. The best thing is to get over it. Pamper yourself so that you'll have a high self-esteem and who knows, guys of preference might notice the change... :)
@bluangel628 (383)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
You can put it that way. He was really not meant for me because someone in a not so distant future from that experience will come and swept me off my feet, he's now my husband. My first boyfriend, my best friend and my partner all rolled into one. The best thing that was brought about by this experience is that it enabled me to be stronger and more aware of falsehood when it comes to feelings and relationship. It strengthened the "spider sense" in me which tells me something just ain't right. Thanks for responding and happy mylotting.
