if wounds had a tongue ...they would have had expressed the pain ...
@lionheartguru (208)
India
February 25, 2011 5:56am CST
I some times think i am over-reacting, but when i try to think of a logic ... i am clueless ! A unfortunately fortunate incidence happened due to "falling" in Love .
Its been a long time since i was ditched by my last girlfriend whom i was seriously in love with . Its been just 2 years , but these 2 years have seemed to be like 2 decades ! Its been like a walk for survival in a hot dessert with the dessert ghosts haunting me every night, every time i closed my eyes. The words which i heard in her voice , when i caught her off guard with another guy, made a deep and shallow wound in my heart which may never recover. Her very words made me believe "love is crap, girls need cash" ; which i am not interested in knowing true or false since i have already concluded, but what remains unanswered is the thing that is holding me back to start it over again with someone genuine.
Its that i have completely lost faith in everything related to love , feelings, emotions ,etc. I now feel its just some crap which was our ancestors created for their entertainment . I know a lot of member would say ...you should move you , find someone else, there is always someone made only for you... and so on, but it comes to the same point ; i am unable to trust any female for any reason .
Ahh please ...i don't need a psychiatrist ! I just need to know if there are some better ways to enjoy life or something which would help me change my mentality to that of a college goer or a teen-aged, enjoying life , having fun ,etc.
5 responses
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
25 Feb 11
Because of one woman who has smashed your heart to pieces should not make you judge all women are the same. If your pass relationship didn't work, so be it. Move on. There are still lots of fishes in the wide ocean. Go out and socialize. You may never know that the one meant for you is waiting for you somewhere. You just can't change your mindset if you keep harping on your past. Start anew, what happened is now a history and you should be thankful for your ex for giving you a bitter experience in love lesson as it has set you for the real love that will end your search for your rightful soulmate. Good luck 
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
25 Feb 11
Don't loose interest. It is part of a love drama that most of us have gone through in life once too many times . It is only temporary and you'll soon get over it and be back to normalcy again. You will survive this love sickness in no time. I've kissed many toads before I met my frog!
@lionheartguru (208)
• India
25 Feb 11
thats what i am unable to even if i want to . I go upto some extent and then automatically withdraw ! I am not sure how ... but i loose interest.
@gjax57 (897)
• United States
25 Feb 11
Do not stereotype all women. the right one just hasn't come along yet give it time...all good things come to those who wait...I know you don't want to hear that but there is someone for EVERYONE out there when the time is right!....and they are not all gold diggers!
@lionheartguru (208)
• India
25 Feb 11
very true
but not matter how hard i try ... i fail every time . I withdraw automatically.
@RebeccaScarlett (2532)
• Canada
25 Feb 11
You might want to try figuring out why and when you lose interest when you try a relationship with a new woman. Is it after you sleep together? After she asks you to buy her something so you start to think she is like your ex?
Once you've had a few dates and it looks like it has the potential to be serious, you should open up a little with the girl. You don't have to get all emotional, but just tell her you've had a hard time trusting women since you had one use you for money and break your heart. It might help her understand if you get moody after taking her someplace nice and footing the bill. It's not that you don't want to treat her from time to time, you just worry that you will get burned again.
Not everyone can play fast and loose and be a partier. Some people try, and don't even have fun because it just doesn't suit them. If you're happier in a serious relationship, I doubt you'll find much in a bed-hopping lifestyle, so don't try to be something you're not.
Not all women are gold-diggers; I earn all the money in my relationship, and handle all the finances.
@lionheartguru (208)
• India
25 Feb 11
Sleeping and dating is too far to be talked about . I just approach a girl , get friendly with her ... and the moment i think about talking her out for a date or something ... i get this weird feeling and automatically loose interest, which makes myself say her ... "next time" !
Sometimes i don't even feel like even glancing the hot chicks who pass by in my office campus. This is the gravity of the situation i am into .
@QeeGood (1213)
• Sweden
26 Feb 11
If wounds had a tounge... they would have had expressed the pain.
Many invisible wounds and scares in a soul being can be very visible when they are triggered to be shown as reactions in a human body when the same old situations appear. All experience can be useful tools for moving on with life.
I've been a single parent for 10 years.I hope to meet a man to share life together with. I've been dating several times. Trying to create a friendship with men. It does not work out. People say:" You've not met the right man yet. You will meet him when the time is right". Is that only for comfort.
I do hope you will meet the right one for you!
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
26 Feb 11
Hello lionheartguru!
I guess you have that fear already of having another relationship and that's all due to your past one. You are afraid that the same thing will happen again. Am i right? This is what I've actually felt when I got ditched by my first girlfriend. I lose trust in women already that time and doesn't even dare to stare one. It's my fear that has binded me to be like that.
Yes it's painful but we must face it or else we will live forever of that fear. I understand what you mean by that "weird feeling" when thinking about having a date but give it a try. You want to move on but can't because it's you yourself that's keeping it from moving on and it's because of that pain and experience that you are afraid to happen again.
Do not caress that wound but instead open your heart once again and let someone patch that wound inside of you so that it will heal.
Have a nice day!
