would you take back a cheater?
By chiyochan
@chiyosan (30183)
Philippines
February 25, 2011 7:44am CST
i just thought.. if you have finally broken up with someone, has moved on... and has actually thought you are better off with someone who can treat you better...
then you are living a carefree life... then your ex.. someone who's cheated on you is asking you back... saying he's changed, will change or whatever reason he has just to be with you again...
should you give him another chance and take him back? will you take a cheater back?
4 people like this
19 responses
@milkievickie (11)
• Nigeria
25 Feb 11
People change you know. Maybe he has realized his mistakes and is willing to make up for all his wrongs. Maybe he has realized how much he truly loves you. put your legs in his shoes. All i am saying is, just give it a try, say put him on some kind of probation.
1 person likes this
@sonaimajumdar (950)
• India
25 Feb 11
Yeah, because many times it happens,that people really relize their mistakes and feel sorry and therafter changes himself completely.
Judge again is better !
@sonaimajumdar (950)
• India
25 Feb 11
Its a very difficult situation,to take any decision. Because you mind will say that "No,I will not give him chance." ,but still your heart will say " I think he is saying truth , and has changed forever.I may and should give him a chance."
So there are two opposite answers deriving,which make the fial decision hard to take.
I will suggest you, don't take any decisions at hurry.Just observe him , notice him , ask for time from him, and in that judge him totally and completely.After that, it will be somwhat better to know then, what to do next.
Hope it helps.
@sonaimajumdar (950)
• India
25 Feb 11
I am just saying to judge him again , because there are really many cases in which after cheating, when he feels sorry,he really changes himself. The reats should be understood by the lover.
Otherwise No is always a supportive answer, but you should judge him again !
@danitykane (3183)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
hi chiyosan,
Uhmmm... that's hard to answer since I don't know your boyfriend personally.. even if I know him it won't be easy to instantly say, yes! take him back. The past will lose your trust in him and you will always have suspicion and all. It could also be a topic and debate whenever you both have misunderstanding, in other words the past will always be brought up in the present. It is hard to say yes to a cheater even if he said he is a change man. The question is, are you willing to give him a chance? If you really really do love him then, yes it is still worth a try. But if you're starting to have doubts then, think twice or maybe thrice. Happy Lotting!
1 person likes this
@didi13 (2926)
• Romania
25 Feb 11
I could not forgive him, even if we have one child together, I would not forgive him, and maybe I break us immediately so that I could not watch it too. .Perhaps there are women who are maintained by their men, and if they would part with them, could not survive alone and then must "forgive" but I do not think they really and truly sorry that I can love you "after "- the man next to them.
1 person likes this
@hemlockspruce25 (501)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
I would never take back a cheater.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Learn from your mistakes.
Be wiser, know better.
Save yourself from the heartaches.
Don't take him back.
It's like picking a huge rock to whack your own head.
Second chances doesn't work...believe me.
1 person likes this
@lizzyt2007 (1312)
• Craig, Alaska
26 Feb 11
I've been in this situation. I've dated a cheater than broke up and went back to him again. not a good idea without proof that he/she has truly changed. I just took his word for it. that was dumb on my part.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
25 Feb 11
my answer depends on me and my situation and my personality. i think decisions vary because there are many factors in every relationship. no two is perfectly alike.
if that happens to me, i would not take him back anymore. i would just give him a chance to possibly do that to me again.
1 person likes this
@sonaimajumdar (950)
• India
25 Feb 11
What if he has really changed himself?
What if he has realized his mistake?
What if he really loves him the most, and feels this after cheating her?
Now what are your answers for this?
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
25 Feb 11
Actually i don't believe in what if's, sweetie.
Why did he cheat in the first place?
Why didn't he think of that mistake before he cheated?
His loss if he realize he's love for her now?
I know people fall in love with someone else.
That happens.
But why cheat?
Be honest and straight forward if you want to do the nasty.
@jonnifc (1017)
• Philippines
26 Feb 11
I won't take him back just like that. I don't buy the "I'll do this just for you" drama. If he wants to change, then he'll change because it's the right thing to do and because that is good for himself. Let him fix himself first before he shares himself with me. Everybody deserves a second chance anyway. And he's got to earn my trust first.
@tessa9 (1085)
• Philippines
26 Feb 11
I will never ever in a million years take someone who cheated on me. I really feel strongly about this because my father cheated The on my mother. I feel no respect for any man who cheats. People who say that they just made a mistake and say that you are the one who they truly love are a bunch of of you know what. Cheating is just not a mistake. It's not like you crashed the car and saying sorry will make everything OK. It a betrayal and once the trust is ruined then it will never really be the same. It's very rare for a relationship to overcome cheating. You will always be reminded of what he did and you will never get to trust him again even if you want to.
@futurenurse251 (3)
•
26 Feb 11
It would depend on the individula situation, but I do believe that sometimes people change. Maybe when you walked out of his life, that was enough to make him want to be a better person and he realized what he had in you and maybe he genuinely wants to try to make it work out. The bottome line for me is that people can and do change for the better.
@staria (2780)
• Philippines
26 Feb 11
Before you consider the "cheating" part, ask yourself if you really love him that much to let him enter your carefree life again. If you still love the person, check your heart if you are really willing to start all over again and forget the bad things (cheating) that happened, because if you will only dwell w/ the bad things of the past, it'll be not worth it and it would just be a waste of time and effort for the both of you.
@shaggin (72183)
• United States
26 Feb 11
I tend to think once a cheeter always a cheater so no if someone cheated on me I would never take them back. Being cheated on would hurt horrible I wouldnt want to risk going through that again. If they cheat on me its their fault if I take them back and they do it again then its sort of my fault for allowing them back in my life and expecting that they will change.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
25 Feb 11
I am a firm believer that everyone deserves a second chance. A cheater may cheat again but then again they may not. It is not fair to judge so i would give a cheater another chance. If i am proven wrong, then I am.
@fl0rencia (414)
• Philippines
26 Feb 11
Hi.. I would never ever take someone back. Especially that you've already move on. It has never happened to me before but I heard a lot of stories like that with my friends. And so I told my lover to do almost everything but not cheating. Because I will never forgive him. :)