A Question For Married People - When Do You Know?

It is funny how our perspective changes as we grow older. When I was young it seemed that if only you could find that one special someone you could live your life out with that one true love, for life. Some are fortunate to make that happen but, anymore, it is rare. What I have learned however is that what I once took for granted was not true. It is possible for all of us to love many people. Having lost one, no matter the reason, does not mean we can never find another. We just have to be willing to look and understand that we all have a need to both love and to be loved. That is a very fundamental part of being human. Often the place we find love is the very last place we have thought we could find it. I have indeed learned this the hard way. I lost my first wife, of 37 years, to another man. She was so infatuated with him she could not see what she was loosing. Mr. wonderful turned out not to be so great and she lives alone today. We divorced and, in time, I found another, on the Internet of all places. We married and I loved her dearly. Unfortunately within about four and a half years she passed away from complications of diabetes. To have loved and lost in such a short time was devastating because she had not left me of her own free will. I knew in my heart however that I could not give up. My first wife was not an option even though I could see some interest on her part. I could no longer trust her. It would have been so easy to just live out my life with my memories but something deep inside me said that is not at all what I wanted or needed. Once I had come to grips with that loss I turned to the Internet again. My original intent was not to find a wife but simply to find a very good friend to do things with. Well I soon found that women do not go to the Internet simply looking for a friend. :-) Within a month I found someone that I really liked and she seemed to like me pretty well also. I am very happy to say we are married and she is the true love of my life. It does not detract from the other relationships...it only adds to them. We can, or should, never forget, but we also must look forward, not backward, for as long as we live. The loss of my second wife taught me that even though we loose someone dear we are still here and we must insure we do not let that loss destroy us. So happy for you singlemommy and I do hope this works out as it sounds like it will. I do not know you but I am very happy for you. My very best to you!

Awe, thank you so much. Your words made me tear up! We have known each other for a very long time. It makes me wonder why we didn't jump on this a long time ago. Well, I know it is because I was with my daughter's father and then when I split from him, he was with his kids' mother, but now they haven't been together in years. It is weird how we had both bumped into eachother many times through the years and we both knew something was there but it just never worked out until now.

Excellent advice. At this point, I don't think I could live without him.

My boyfriend is a good hearted man and probably the best boyfriend that I've ever had. He is a hard worker which is a total plus! I've never had a boyfriend who wanted to work. Whenever I've spent the night with him or he has spent the night with me, I can't tell you how it feels to have him next to me. Then when he gets up the next morning for work and kisses me good-bye, I can just feel love in every kiss. It's crazy how I feel about him.