UPDATE ON .....HELP! - Don't know how I should feel or act

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So this is an update on my other post http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2475326.aspx So it has been over a month since this all happened. And I'll clear some things up that came out of that discussion. 1. My husband has made it clear, he REALLY doesn't like her, but feels responsible for getting her & us into this situation. He actually doesn't even know why he dated her in the first place because she drives him crazy. 2. He admits that he was in the WRONG...which is something I've never seen him do before, and I've never seen him grovel so much. 3. I still don't know her actual intentions, but my husband did (in front of me) tell her the reasons why he broke up with her, which kind of shocked her and she said it was something "uncalled for" when I left the room. ...So I've made her sign a Promissory note saying she needs to payback the money which is owed to us including rent and the rental costs. My husband is now saying that if she doesn't have a job by March 15th then she has to leave by the 19th. She has told us that she fills out a few applications a day and calls a few places to check on rental costs. But she seems to want to go to a transitional house where she'll be placed in a program for 45days where she'll be taught parenting skills, and job hunting skills (pretty much what we've been trying to teach her) and if she passes then she'll get an apartment for a year. It made my husband upset because it was going on 40 days since she was here and she STILL didn't have the motivation to look or even listen to us when we taught her something. So my husband thinks it's a slap in the face and everything he put his family through emotionally and financially was a waste because she just 'finding the easy way out.' I told my husband it's fine with me as long as she pays us back the money, if she doesn't I'll take her to court. But since he feels 'responsible' he doesn't want her to fail. He wants her to be successful pretty much to assure himself that what he did was justified. If all this mess resulted in something positive happening, I think he'll feel better. His whole intention was to show his sons what a good man does, although he didn't think it through. But she's been fighting us the whole way. We even told her our financial situation, which is still pretty bad. And all she could say was "I didn't know" although she did know my husband was unemployed for over a year. But it was ALSO my husbands fault for not telling her. She even told us to "ask our Church to pay for our rent because we give tithing" which made my husband SOOO upset he started yelling a little at her. (it was actually then when he realized why he broke up with her). He tells me, she hasn't changed her way of thinking and she's lazy and unmotivated. The only thing that's different, is she cleans up. And that she learned because she has kids because if she didn't...they'd probably have been taken away for neglect. From what he told me about when they lived together, she would leave dishes all over the place, even if it was her day off or she got home before him she wouldn't cook dinner or clean. They had a dog and he would come home and find poop on the floor. So the fact that she can clean up is a good thing because if she was like that now...I would have tossed her out within the first week. But what my husband is having a problem with is me being 'hostile' to her. And because of that she's scared of me. Which I don't care, but apparently it's making things more stressful on him. So I'm trying to deal with that. I really don't like her and I can't be 'nice' to someone I don't like. Should I bite the bullet and be somewhat 'nice' to help my husband out and de-stress him or should I keep on being 'hostile' because it honestly makes me feel better and makes ME less stressed?