Are you and your spouse on the same page financially?
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
February 28, 2011 2:56pm CST
I believe this is a common marital issue, and I hear that money is one of the main things couples fight about. So I'm curious as to how many couples are on the same page as far as their finances go.
For the most part I do think my husband and I see eye to eye on the finances. I know for a little while I felt as if he wanted to do nothing but spend.. and honestly both of us were that way for a long time. I suddenly changed my way of thinking and chose to focus more on paying bills, getting out of debt, and starting to save. Obviously I had to work on getting him to feel the same way because it was such an abrupt change for me and I couldn't expect him to suddenly feel the way I do. We had a long talk.. and he knows what we should do, but it's not always easy to break that spending habit.. so it's a work in progress, but at least he wants to be on the same page as me and sometimes just needs gentle reminders about the spending.
Do you and your partner ever have trouble seeing eye to eye on financial decisions?
Do you have any good advice for people who are having trouble getting their partner to help them be financially responsible?
5 people like this
14 responses
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
6 Mar 11
Don't seem to be. I hardly spend any money, just try to make sure the bills are paid, and then I am broke again. I couldn't even tell you what she spends money on. Food I would guess, I only do about a quarter of the shopping for food.
From time to time though, even though we have the money, it isn't where it is supposed to be, so I don't what is going on really, I just work, and do the banking I am told to do, and make sure I pay the bills that need paying.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
7 Mar 11
Hmm, that's quite strange that you don't communicate about money, but it doesn't sound like it bothers you. Your bills are paid and you have what you need.. I guess if it were a problem you'd do something to change it.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
6 Mar 11
When I met my husband he was still living at home, he didn't pay rent or bills so he had quite a lot of money. When he wanted to buy something expensive for himself he was able to do it. I was living with my ex-boyfriend before we met, we didn't have much money, and I wasn't used to a situation where I could buy everything that I wanted. Now we have been together for 3 years and I am still better at saving money than my husband is. We have a saving account where I transfer money every month, and we have been able to save up for our wedding and travelling that way.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36447)
• United States
3 Mar 11
I think every couple at one time or another has a Financial spat of some sort with where the money is being spent, and they need to save more, or spend less on certain things. Especially since we continue to see the Gas and food prices rising every time we turn around. I know for me, this can be a struggle for sure and it can take a little time to get everything squared away to be able to find ways to save and plan for the future as well. I think a Budget in reality never really hurt anyone and could be a life saver in the end for sure.
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
2 Mar 11
My husband and I are in complete sync over financial matters. Both of us have struggled a lot immediately after marriage and its only now, after 14 years, that we are seeing some sort of financial stability in our life, also some savings for the rainy day. We’ve had to forego a lot of little pleasures for this, but our shared vision made the journey bearable.
As for any advise, I think leading by example should be the best… you save, you cut the extras and you prioritize the bills… I’m sure you’re hubby would see the benefits for the family and follow suit.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
7 Mar 11
Congrats for being so organized. My hubby is noticing how good it feels to have all the bills paid and still have money in our bank account. I hope this feeling will motivate him to keep going with our current plan!
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
3 Mar 11
Prior to the time that my husband and I had financial struggles, I would say that we were not on the same page financially. However, since we started doing our debt management plan in October of 2009, we've grown a lot in the direction of being on the same financial page. We know that in order to get out from under the mountain of debt that we have right now we have to make a lot of sacrifices, but we also understand that in the end there is a huge payoff for us. We have a maximum of two years left before we will be out of debt with the exception of our home.
1 person likes this
@stellar126 (278)
• Philippines
1 Mar 11
I think being on the same page financially is very important for couples. Difference in priorities and behaviours when it comes to spending money normally causes conflict and can lead to major marital issues.
I'm very open with my fiance on my finances and about my future plans. He knows that I'm saving for retirement and that having an emergency fund is a big deal to me. And I'm lucky enough that he agrees with most, if not all, of my decisions. We have the same goal, and that is to be more responsible when it comes to our Personal Finances so that we won't have a hard time in the future.
@GardenGerty (160952)
• United States
1 Mar 11
In many ways we are on the same page, but we both have our weaknesses. When we have discretionary funds I would like to start doing some upgrading and upkeep on the house. He can only think of cars, car repairs, etc. It is not just a matter of money but of time as well. I tend to let him do what he wants and then suddenly I am angry and resentful. On another note, my brain says "no fast food and no eating out" but if I even act like I am thinking about it, he "lets me" talk him into it. I would be happier if he would remind me that I said "No". We tend to shop impulsively for groceries as well. We could eat a lot cheaper and my weight would be better as well. We both acknowledge that we need to manage our money, but it is easy for both of us to be tempted.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
28 Feb 11
I think my husband and I are sort of on the same page with money. I used to be really tight with my money and he wasn't. He was used to having money to spend all the time because he worked a lot but was still living at home. When we first got together it was an adjustment. Then we both kind of went through a period of spending too much. Now we are trying to get it under control so we can have money to get our kids the things they need.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
28 Feb 11
There's always an adjustment period for new couples, even for singles finally becoming responsible for themselves. I think my hubby's problem is he never had to be responsible before. He lived with his parents, then he moved in with his cousin, then he and I moved into a house his cousin owned, then we moved into a house his parents owned. Now, in his mid-30's he's finally being forced to be responsible for the first time in his life and it's a hard thing to do since he never had to before.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
28 Feb 11
That's good! We've previously had enough arguments over money that I think he's learned his lesson. He knows enough to ask me before spending money at least, and I always have the option of saying no, though often times saying no leads to him throwing a little fit, LOL.
@dodo19 (47336)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
28 Feb 11
My husband and I do try to be on the same page about money, as much as possible. We try to discuss things, and not keep money issues a secret. It's just one of those things that we don't like to hide from each other. We like to know exactly where we stand.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
28 Feb 11
when i first started reading i thought you meant with how much each brought in but i guess you mean how much each spends out
so my first 4 husbands were terrible about spending it out and never brought as much as me in
so yes we had a bit of fusses over that. but my last hubby was a jewel. he brought in twice as much as me but encouraged me to spend it, even though id never had much
he had a joint bank account with me and i had my own bank account. and he used to say whats mine is hers and whats hers is also hers. lol. id never had that before.
so my first 4 husbands were terrible about spending it out and never brought as much as me in so yes we had a bit of fusses over that. but my last hubby was a jewel. he brought in twice as much as me but encouraged me to spend it, even though id never had much he had a joint bank account with me and i had my own bank account. and he used to say whats mine is hers and whats hers is also hers. lol. id never had that before. @katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
28 Feb 11
Yeah.. what I meant was is he as financially responsible or does he just want to spend and not care about the bills..
I also feel that what's his is mine and what's mine is also mine. LOL
@mermaidivy (15394)
• United States
1 Mar 11
We don't fight about money at all. My husband works and pays all the bills in the household. He gives me money for grocery and stuff. I think it is good at I don't need to worry about bills at all and focus for the family instead like housework, the dog, the baby hehe
He takes care of all the financial decision, I'm not good at it and I'm decisive so I can't really help him with that.
He takes care of all the financial decision, I'm not good at it and I'm decisive so I can't really help him with that. 
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
1 Mar 11
My ex and eye were not on the same page. It gave me a lot of anxiety because he was a careless spender. But I managed to take control and balance what we can spend and which we could not. If people are very opposite on finance ideas, the best is to keep a separate account for yourself.
@pogi253 (1596)
• Philippines
1 Mar 11
Almost everyone wishes to be financially close with their partner because it becomes a stressful thing to the relationship when crisis hits and funds become hardly sufficient. There can be many factors that will result to financial dearth. It can be that the household needs are escalating and the arrival of income cannot cover the expenditures. Occasionally obnoxious situations happen in life and you will need additional money for certain period of time. Whatever financial swamp you are in, it makes the situation less stressful if you allocate an open financial relationship with your partner.
