Would you still listen?

I have a couple of friends like this indeed! Where as they call and want to discuss the same issue over and over. I will listen until I can't take it anymore and I try my best to constructively give them advice. However, when I tell them what they need to hear somehow it is time to go. Then I do not hear from them for a couple of days and there it is the same issue again. Sometimes I wonder if they simply just like the attention as this goes on for years with no end.

People do not want to hear what they should do, they just want you to listen, and listen, and listen, and listen. They will have to be ready for a change and make it themselves. Meanwhile, you need to either change the subject or avoid this friend, because they make you feel unappreciated, and they can depress you a lot. I have a sister and I have to redirect her or ignore her a lot. I even "accidentally" hung up on her to get her to change the subject.

I had a friend who did that some years ago. She had an on again off again relationship with a guy she was madly in love who clearly did not feel the same way. I offered endless hours of advice and support but the phone calls continued and she just rehashed the same problem over and over again until I told her that she would always have my support but there was nothing I could add to these endless discussions. She stopped calling after a while which was a shame but she was draining me emotionally. Sometimes you have to care for yourself too..

I can relate to you on this, because I've experienced it many times. I can actually point 3 friends of mine. I am really an adviser to my friends and colleagues. I listen to them and share my views and lessons I've learned in the past or things I've learned through experiences of other people. And just like you dheckers, I've noticed that when we meet again they would brought up the same concerns. Later on I realized that I can't stand it anymore since it has been like a broken record, and human as I am, had already run out something to say or to advice. I find it also boring to listen to them, so I just decided to stay away from them for some moments because I realized that what has been the problem now is their attitude towards life, they tend to bring in negative energy and I don't find it healthy since I am a bit an emotional person.

Hello dheckerz! I understand what it feels for having a friend like that but in my opinion if you really consider her as your friend then you should be patient or at least try to. These are just small little ways to show that we are trying to understand them as much as we could and that we do care for them. I guess your friend hasn't been able to find her way out from that issue and all we can do sometimes is wait for them to learn. For me, I'll just continue giving advises to her because maybe those other advises I've given before didn't helped. When time comes that she has recovered from that issue for sure she will treasure you as her very true friend. Have a nice day!

I have a friend the same as your friend. She don't talk to me, but to my colse friend. She has married for not long time, but has many contradictions with her husband. So she need a friend to talk. She tells my friend the same thing over and over again. My friend although feels bored, but still be a listener. If I am, I will give some advice and avoid her saying over and over again.

Well i wouldnt do either thing, i wouldnt avoid her or listen. I would tell her that she is making a problem out of something that she has been saying over and over. If she says it over and over again and always reacts like it is the end of the world i would open up her eyes so she can see that it is only a problem because she is making it one.

I try to always be a good listener to family and friends alike. Time should not make a difference in listening to them. It is not fair to judge what may or may not seem important to those we care about. Supporting them by listening is the least we can do to ease their burdens.

i have a friend like that. but i was the one that did the talking and she lisented. she helpped me throw alot of bad times. and we have been friends for over 5 years. and know that things are better we talk about other things. you do not know how it helps to have some one to lisenten to you when you really need someone to listen.

I think that it will be rude to just leave her when all she runs to is you. I think that you should listen to her still but respond differently. I think that making her understand things would help her a lot. Maybe you should let her understand that at times, not all things go by how we want them to be. There are certain things that is just out of our control so we will lose grip on it and so we should just accept it and face whatever consequences it might give us and move on. Life is just lived one day at a time. It would be hard to keep on living for yesterday.

indeed there are people who are like this. the best thing to do perhaps is to listen. try to share opinions or other advises that may help your friend. it's like he/she is stuck in the issue or problem and does nothing to patch things up, neither listening to your advise. because if he/she does, the problem would have been solved in a way. really it's hard to listen for things repeated so many times but being there to listen can be helpful. maybe it's his/her only means to cope with the situation he/she is in, and thanks to you because you were there.