What are some of the best ways to make new friends?
By hbsbucks
@hbsbucks (40)
United States
March 2, 2011 12:42am CST
What are some of the best ways to make new friends? Would someone be able to recommend a guideline for me to follow? I have a cognitive disorder which impairs my ability to socialize appropriately, as well as a chronic illness that prevents me from partaking in a variety of social activities.
It is my understanding that the feeling of alienation is common, an experience everyone is likely to have at some point in their lives. Is this true? Has everyone felt this way, however briefly? What can be done if the feeling remains?
9 responses
@Gorillafootprints925 (3586)
• United States
2 Mar 11
Stop using computers or gadgets as much as possible. Stop looking at screens.
@Gorillafootprints925 (3586)
• United States
3 Mar 11
By giving more time out of technology you give in more time for yourself to communicate to people. If you just sit around and just stare at your computer monitor how will you meet new people?
When you sit and use the computer monitor how many times do you blink?
I'm not say give up technology I'm just saying stay away from it as much as possible. If you stay away from it long enough you will be bored then you will think of something else to do then you will think of something to do outdoors then when you do something fun maybe you will meet someone new. I just think that people nowadays stare at computer monitors, always on their phone or gadget for long hours than they do communicating with people physically. Maybe that doesn't apply to you but I'm just expressing what I observe.
For weeks now I have been doing so much outside and I have met so many people at work, in school, in restaurants. The first thing you just have to do is greet them like hello, hi, good morning, good evening but there are also people who would ignore you.
@_sketch_ (5742)
• United States
3 Mar 11
Actually, I have met many people using technology online. One of my best friends is a guy I met online. I don't see why people are so against using technology for socializing. It is totally underrated, but I think that it is a great way to connect with people, especially when you can't afford to go out or just don't have the time to really get out there and meet people in person.
@ComEng (69)
• Philippines
3 Mar 11
Feeling of being alienated is a choice. If you want to make new friends, try to approach them and try to start a conversation. Your family, relatives and neighbors are the best people to start with. If you feel your being neglected or rejected, just be yourself. True friends will love you for who you are no matter what your disorder is.
Hope we can be friends!
@hbsbucks (40)
• United States
3 Mar 11
Feeling alienated is a choice? That is interested, I never thought about it that way. Are all of the emotions that people feel everyday a choice? This is very insightful.
I have grasped the concept of engaging others in conversation, but my execution of the concept is flawed. How would you recommend starting a conversation with a prospective new friend?
Thank you for your comment! Let's be friends! :)
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
2 Mar 11
Hi,
Making a new friends is definitely great.
I love to have new friends and having some new friends will make us
feel more lively.
First, I always tell myself,never feel shy and start make the first
approach to talk to others. Although others may not talking to you,but
try to be friend with them and slowly, you will have more friends.
Show a smile faces to others, or else ,if you just keep quiet and
ignore others, then you may not be able to have some new friends.
@hbsbucks (40)
• United States
2 Mar 11
Thank you for your reply! Is there anyway that I can know what to say to someone? I mean, I know I can't walk up to someone and recite a list of elements, (I am prone to doing things like that), but, what exactly is considered to be normal conversation?
@manubla (472)
• Philippines
2 Mar 11
I am also not that sociable. There are even times that I don't like the company of others and would prefer to stay home than be with friends :). However, I see the need to still socialize. Luckily, our company have several groups (basically by hobby) and I've joined one of these groups. This now allows me to meet new people when I participate in some of the activities. Sometimes, I'm naturally friendly, at other times I push myself to be friendly just so to build rapport with these new acquaintances. In general, I try to be pleasant. :)
I hope you also get to find an activity that allows you to meet people without affecting your health.
@hbsbucks (40)
• United States
2 Mar 11
Thank you for your comment! Was it very difficult to interact with others during group activity? How did you know what to say? What if someone asks you a question, and you don't know the answer? Thank you for your help! Have fun in your social pursuits! :)
@nolovesca11 (64)
• Indonesia
2 Mar 11
every people must have experienced it.
i personally ever experienced it. But the way i do to eliminate these feelings is to keep optimistic. Think that we are able to do that. Do not feel embrassed when you meet stranger. But,invite person to talk so you can have to socialize
@hbsbucks (40)
• United States
3 Mar 11
Thank you for your comment. Would you be able to recommend any strategies for approaching a social situation with optimism?
Additionally, is optimism synonymous to confidence? It is difficult to display confidence in a situation when unsure of how to proceed.
@nolovesca11 (64)
• Indonesia
3 Mar 11
i think just invite your friends to talk with you...
if you can talk to other so it will flow like a water in a river. Do you understood what i mean?
ehm... just feel enjoy and relax.
@_sketch_ (5742)
• United States
3 Mar 11
In my experience, a great way to meet people is just by striking up a conversation with random, cool-looking people. If I'm at the store, riding the bus, at work, at a concert, anywhere and I see someone who catches my attention, I just start talking to them about whatever comes to mind. An old, but good technique is to compliment the person on their clothes, hair, whatever; or if they are wearing a t-shirt of a band I like.
And in response to your last question, yes I have felt that way and I think you are right that everyone is likely to have experienced feelings of alienation. The statuses on social networking sites make that very clear. I don't know anything about your cognitive problem, but I feel that I can relate at least to some extent. I have bipolar disorder and a lot of social anxiety that I'm working through and I know what it's like to feel misunderstood. lol I don't know if that's how you feel, but that's how I do sometimes.
@NessaFilth (341)
• United States
2 Mar 11
I have noticed that one of the best ways to make really good friends is doing something that you do like to do and that you are capable of doing. for example, if you like to read, go to a bookstore. you will meet people that enjoy the same things that you do, so it will be easier for you to make friends and connect on a common ground :)
