What should I do to improve my self control ability?
By seanlee1223
@seanlee1223 (80)
China
March 2, 2011 6:24am CST
Sometimes, when I think about myself deeply, I found that I have really a poor self control ability. I always made a plan for the tomorrow, like reading 50 pages of one of my technique books, but I always failed the plan and more importantly, I failed myself. Though I keep telling myself I can't fail myself again, the same thing always happened again and again. Sometimes, I really think less of myself. I can't let this always happen to me. What should I do?
6 responses
@cowboyofhell (3063)
• Philippines
4 Mar 11
It seems that you are just ambitious because as you said 50 pages. Oh man I would lessen that to about 10 pages so my mind won't tell that it is too much for me to do. I rather do something even less than not accomplish anything at all. It might stress me to work but is there anything worth doing? Why not try to draw some 50 little vertical lines and cross out each one after reading one page. The joy of crossing those lines will keep you going for more. Get hooked in short.
@seanlee1223 (80)
• China
4 Mar 11
yes, maybe I was a little hard to myself. But, now, I find the way to deal with it. Separate my plans or goals into "pieces", accomplish it little by little, step by step. 5 pages or 10 pages a day, I could finish 50 pages in 10 or 5 days, but if I set 50 pages a day, I will never finish it.
@samevesjobs (26)
• Singapore
3 Mar 11
Hmm..
I think maybe you keep on failing to do what you want to do because you give yourself too much target (for example, reading 50 pages of the book in one go).
Maybe try to set a lower target, like reading 5 pages, so you don't feel lazy to start.
Just like the example of going to the gym. If you tell yourself, "tomorrow I'm going to run the treadmill for two hours", you will feel lazy about it already because it's two hours of gym.
It's best if you set a lower target, like 3 pages of book reading (or in my example, 15 minutes of treadmill running).
Then, when you've actually achieved the target, you will naturally feel like you can do more. And when you've done more than your target, you'll feel good about yourself, then you'll be more looking forward to it tomorrow.
This is the trick i use on myself haha..
Hope it helps.
@seanlee1223 (80)
• China
4 Mar 11
Humm...This is a refreshing for me. I never thought this may be one of the reasons. And now, I think again, it may be one of the reasons. It's definitely worth a try. Thank you very much!
@sunny5u (2069)
• India
3 Mar 11
Hi seanlee, i just wanna tell you something, firstly you don't get depressed when you get failed, and more over its quite common in every ones life, when we are having exam, though we have some many chapters to learn , we do it just in a single day, we do it only in case of emergency , so compete your self with others and then you don't fail, you'll get that kind of mind to chase and stand first in what ever you do, and once you succeed what you are doing for then you just study for you self satisfaction, since you are already habituated that kind of reading so you don't get fail again, and you complete your work in time :-)
@seanlee1223 (80)
• China
4 Mar 11
Thank you, sunny. I'm not depressed when I failed, actually, I do quite a good job at my work or study. But I'm not good at accomplishing my plans, I just thought that shouldn't been happen, but it did happen, always, it feels bad.
@tessa9 (1085)
• Philippines
2 Mar 11
I have little self control too but I don't think that that is your problem. Based on what you wrote, I think your problem is more about procrastinating than self control. If you plan things for tomorrow but fail to accomplish it because you did not do it because you thought you just can't be bothered with it even though your really are not busy then that is procrastinating. If your problem is you are planning to do things but can't accomplish it because you just can't seem to do it even how hard you try then that is another thing. You are too hard on your self. Maybe that's the reason why you can't accomplish things, it's because you are too stressed out. Just breath and try to relax. Enjoy life.
@seanlee1223 (80)
• China
4 Mar 11
yes, I think you are right, it is procrastination! Think back to the past, all the plans I didn't accomplish are really not that difficult, I just like to put them off to the tomorrow, to the last-time. It is not because I can't do it, it is because I don't do it. Procrastination!
@QeeGood (1213)
• Sweden
2 Mar 11
You have to be realistic about your plans for tomorrow. First of all write down what you think you can accomplish during one day. Like you going to do laundry, while the washing machine is washing your laundry you can read 15 pages or 2 chapters in your book. When that is done you go for a walk for 30 minutes. You have a nice shower when you're back home.
A good way to succeed with your goals for the day is to have small demands. Make plans for doing 3-4 things. It is better to accomplish a little with success than to fail over and over again. A good way write down what you have finished and completed. It brings you "a feeling good" about yourself.
@seanlee1223 (80)
• China
4 Mar 11
I never write down my plans. I think it's one of the reasons I always failed to accomplish them. I always made plans just in my head, and when I failed one, it didn't make me feel bad. But, if I write it down and don't accomplish it, a big red "X" will appear on the plan list, that feels bad and if I accomplish the plan list, I would feel "successful". Thank you, QeeGood, I will take your suggestion and I hope it can help out.
@Skrejka7802 (96)
• Bulgaria
3 Mar 11
My advice is short. You have to do everything you know but to be Step by Step. I think but this is best example for all improvings in life.