Difference of opinion

Yes, Deepak. But you know that practically everything is not an ideal situation.

Very well said,Deepak. But as you very well know, that is not always the case. Not everyone is mature and some people (partners in a relationship or business) tend to believe that only they know best and is not willing to even listen to another viewpoint. These relationships go smoothly for a while when the other person is compromising. But when the compromising happens only from one person, resentment sets in. And that's where the problem arises. I'm glad your wife and you are able to discuss issues and come to a conclusion that benefits all.

I think not listening to other's point of view is not prudent. When two people think on an issue more than two options come out of it and the best one could be chosen.

You are right. But in many Asian communities, the husband doesn't believe in communication and the wife is also raised that way that she doesn't believe in voicing her opinion. Of course, things are changing now....but I find that the men still hold on to their strong viewpoints and are not willing to listen to the women who are now empowered (more than earlier atleast)

I know what you mean Sarah. @Deepak...I think what she meant is that if one of them does not agree to disagree, she would prefer walking away than sticking around and being frustrated just to make it seem that she is a nice person.

Exactly. If I stay, my frustration will turn quickly into resentment and then rto hatred. It is better to walk away aand save Some good feelings.

I feel there is no harm - "in agreeing to disagree".

why I mentioned a marriage or business relationship is because in that case, joint decisions need to be taken and one can't avoid it.As far as a friend is concerned, one doesn't take a joint decision....it's just a discussion where one might have a different opinion from that of the friend. Depending on the issue, whoever is concerned will take a stand even if it's different from the opinion of the friend. But one can't do that in the case of a relationship between partners where both have a right to voice their opinion. As an example, when a decision needs to be taken about making an investment. Both partners might have different opinions on how the money should be spent.In a similar situation between friends, though the person might or might not heed the advice of a friend, the decision depends on the person spending the money. He/she is just looking for another perspective when talking to a friend.

Oh, I see. Thanks for sharing. Happy mylotting. :)

In a relationship, winning isn't everything and a decision should be arrived at that is for the benefit of the family.

That is how a relationship should be. One tries to please both people involved...and sometimes there is a give and taken. As long as the intentions are good and the other person has agreed to give in, I don't see any problem. The only time a problem can arise is when one person does the giving in all the time. Then resentment sets in.

We probably make more sense than the men ;)

Yes, I can imagine two people pushing each others decision far enough to flare up. That would be a scenario where sometimes the plates are already flying everywhere.lol And it is not okay just to let men decide all the time. Let the women speak, we have lots of sense to say you know.. :)

That is definitely the best way to do things. But that isn't always the case.

Hmm....good! So, you get to be the REAL decision maker :)

Maybe it might help to give in to her too sometimes:) Most women from Asian countries tend to do the same as your wife.

Lucky you! I studied Psychology but I've never been able to convince my husband :P I guess I'm not putting my studies into action :)

When one person CHOOSES to give in...it then becomes a joint discussion. Even if initially the person had a different opinion or was against the idea, the person has CHOSEN to go along with the decision which was not his/her s. So, I feel it then becomes a JOINT decision.

Sort of, i just give in so as not to complicate matters.

Yes Sender621 it is true, when we let something go too long it spins out of control and the relationship is destroyed. Blessings!... Dainy

Yes,the priority should be the benefit of the family. But I know of families/couples where the husband THINKS he knows best and does as he wishes even when he has raised the subject for discussion and knows that his wife thinks otherwise. He does not try to convince her...neither does he ask for her explanation of her opinion. He feels he spends the money...so he can decide for the family. In my friend's case,her husband would even decide how HER money is spent without even giving her a chance to voice her opinion.

That sounds like a sensible way to do things. Does giving a contradictory opinion after something is done or bought create any problems?

No, because we do things our own way if it will involve buying something for our selves or doing something about our looks. Once it is bought or done on our own, the other one can give his opinion if the doer made a good buy or have done a nice thing about myself. Nothing that serious anyway.

That definitely is the right way to go about....but as you know life isn't always right or fair. Thank you,maean