Does bad hygine equal neglect?
By emarie
@emarie (5442)
United States
March 6, 2011 1:35am CST
Okay, so this takes place in the US...I know some smaller countries don't use up as much water as the US (my husband did a project on water) and the people of the US take more showers then most countries, so I just wanted to make that clear.
Does not bathing your child every day even if they smell, especially if you have the means to bathe them, a sign of neglect on a parents part?
My husband's friend has 2 boys, age 6 & 2. They recently moved in with us temporarily and I've noticed some bad hygiene habits with ALL of them. They don't always brush their teeth or take a bath. I know sometimes it happens. I do it too. I get too tired at night and skip brushing my teeth. If I skip a bath at night, I do it in the morning and I've let my kids skip a bath now and then but of course they HAVE to brush their teeth and wash their face before bed.
But when you have the time, meaning you're sitting home all night, and the means, an available shower with hot water and soap, and your kid stinks and you STILL don't give them a shower...it seems kind of bad to me. I've seen her youngest son go without a bath or brushing teeth for at least 5 days in a row while living in this house. And tonight, her son smelled like poop. And still nothing. Me & my kids took a bath before bedtime and they just brushed their teeth and went to bed. She tells us "just because you don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't happen" but we're home ALL the time and we DON'T see it happen. Apparently she thinks it OKAY to do this. Her kids don't even know how to properly wipe their butts after using the bathroom and they seemed confused when we properly taught them how to wash their hands after using the bathroom.
So what do you think? Is this another form a neglect or just bad parenting?
2 people like this
7 responses
@jonnifc (1017)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
I think it is a sign of bad parenting and neglect. I personally can't sleep without taking a shower and brushing my teeth. I really thank my mother for inculcating in me the value of these hygienic practices. And when I get kids of my own, I'll try to teach them to do the same. OMG, 5 days??!! That's not right! These kids will bring the practice of NOT bathing and brushing up until they are older. They should be taught proper hygiene even at a young age. It's just a basic thing in our activities for daily living. And I mean DAILY.
Don't you think you have the right to ask them to take a bath? It's your house! They shouldn't be stinking up YOUR house! You can set up rules, you know. That no kid goes to bed without at least a sponge bath. I assume they are using YOUR mattresses or sheets. Their smell just might stick on to those, you know. They must abide by your rules if they want to live with you. IF they leave, then let their kids be their problem. But while they are still in your house, they are also your problem. If the mother accuses you of stepping over their parental boundaries, just tell them that it's your family rule. Tell them you yourself are trying to make your kids learn the value of hygiene and seeing their kids not being hygienic isn't helping. So they should follow the rules in the house because everyone, even the adults, should follow them.
@emarie (5442)
• United States
8 Mar 11
right now, she and her kids are sleeping on a futon (covered by a sleeping blanket) on the floor of my living room since I only have a 1 bedroom apartment (yes, me, my husband and kids are all sleeping in the same room). If I knew she was this bad before we let her stay here, then I wouldn't have let her come in the house.
That night when my husband said her kid smelled like poop, I couldn't smell a think. I've actually been sick with a cold for more then a week so I can't smell much and I don't go near her kids. My son has told me her children breath stink. I told them to stay away from them if they smell dirty and tell their mom that they stink. She'd bathe them for a while, or at lest she'd go into the bathroom with them and I'd hear the water. She didn't even bring basic toiletries when she came. She left them all back in her old apartment, but didn't forget 4 bags worth of clothes that they don't use and of coarse her cake decorating tools, but NO toothbrushes or wash cloths, shampoos or body wash they like. I didn't think I'd have to remind an adult, especially a parent, to give their child a bath. It seems like a given to me. I told my husband, this woman has no common sense. He then told me, my common sense isn't always someone else's common sense. 3 nights before that, I had been telling her it was easier on everyone to have her kids take a bath before mine since I keep having to rush them when they take a bath at 7:30 because their bedtime is at 8:30...well, she decided to put her kids down at 8:30 as well and she insists on giving them a bath after mine. The one night I don't tell her to "go and take a bath" she doesn't give her smelly son a bath. I don't know...it's just weird to me.
@deriellevc73 (982)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
hello emarie!
i think it's both, it's neglect and bad parenting. It is the responsibility of the parents,especially the mother, to teach her kids the proper hygiene for good health. It is a mandatory responsibility actually, since neglecting your kids that way could expose them to illnesses which the parents could have avoided if they were vigilant and had not neglected their part.
These kind of things, brushing and bathing, can be learned by kids through practice. naturally, if the parents themselves do not do it, the kids will follow their examples and it would be hard for other people to correct them on this.
@emarie (5442)
• United States
8 Mar 11
I agree. Actually, my whole household has been sick. Since she's moved in with us, I've had a cold that had a fever twice. And my husband had the same thing, she was the first to have it. Her kids have been coughing for a month and she didn't even make them cover their mouths or wash their hands until we told them to. She didn't even cover her mouth. Well she would, with her hand, then wouldn't wash it and touch EVERYTHING. Now, I'm not the cleanest person in the world, I'd admit that. But I do brush my teeth and make my kids do that. I have skipped baths, but that's only when I stayed indoors all day, same with my kids.
But this is the most we've been sick in the entire year and we've actually been keeping our house cleaner. SO the only thing it could be is her and her kids spreading their germs to us.
Today my husband kept saying he still smelled 'poop' and she gave her kids a bath the night before. He looked in a hamper I lent to her and he saw her kids underwear with poop all over it. I didn't ask for description of if there was actual poop or just markings. But she didn't rinse it off and just left it in the hamper which is in my living room next to my couch. She's just become very unsanitary and I feel like constantly spraying disinfectant around them.
@GardenGerty (160879)
• United States
7 Mar 11
Because this can lead to bad health consequences, it is worse than bad parenting. It is neglect. I am surprised the school has not mentioned this to child protective services or whatever the similar agency is near you. I think even smaller countries than the US do what they can to make their kids clean and presentable. It sounds like very lazy parents.
@tessa9 (1085)
• Philippines
6 Mar 11
I think that is really unfortunate. His kids are really unlucky. Everybody should take a bath at least once a day. Does she take a bath or they all don't take a bath? If does take a bathh but don't bathe her kids then that should be some kind of child abuse specially since you said her son smelled like poop. Children are in the care of their parents until they are of age and are able to take care of themselves and the fact that she is not doing her job as a parent is shameful. It's not like she is so busy that she can't even make them at least brush their teeth. It's just really gross.
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
6 Mar 11
The way you are describing seems to border on neglect. I know that I do not give my child a bath every day...she has very sensitive skin and it leads to very dry skin, but if she smells or is visibly dirty she gets a dip in the tub. She brushes her teeth, albeit not that great, every morning and night. We are still working on potty training, but she knows that we have to wipe(mommy does it a second time) we flush and then we wash and dry our hands.
I think that dads do not put as much stock in taking a bath everyday, as moms do. A little dirt is good for them is what my husband told me one day.
@emarie (5442)
• United States
6 Mar 11
Well, their father is out of the picture as he was abusive. I can fully understand not giving the kids a bath EVERY day. I'm sure a lot of parents have done it before, but the fact is she can't tell when her kids stick and she didn't enforce washing of hands after using the bathroom UNTIL we told her they should be washing their hands...with soap. It was something foreign to them when we told them to scrub their hands with soap.
@mcflurryxd (6)
• Singapore
6 Mar 11
Bathing is never mind BUT Bushing teeth is important everyday...We consume lots of food and it contain sugar...Espcially children who consume lot of sugar a day..We only have a set of teeth once we are adult so bad habits have to be cured early as it is going to be following you for the rest of the ife with digusting/fake tooth.
@GreenMoo (11833)
•
6 Mar 11
I don't believe that not bathing daily will hurt kids at all, but there is a big difference between a kid who has been playing indoors all day and one who has been playing in the mud or had a toilet accident. If they kids can't wipe properly then that's a problem. Teeth cleaning is a habit that really needs to be formed in childhood and sadly kids learn from their parents' example.
