No secret policy with my Bestfriend

I think as your best friend for a long time, she will know without you are telling her the details. It is okay to keep something private, it is not that you do not want to share but because you want to keep your relationship with your boyfriend personal. You may want to tell your girl friend that if anything happened, she would be the one to know as you trusted her.

Ican feel you there, xien. I'm in a friendship relationship for more than 20 years. We've also been in imposing some policies just to prove of being loyal and bounded by our friendship. But policies imposed in a relationship would not mean to have a strong relationship with them. Besides, being open doesn't mean being honest as well. Just like what you feel now. Being guilty not telling her all of your feelings. As a person, we still have to leave something for ourselves. Even we know someone no matter how long, still they are other people and even we say that we know each other well, it's always not true. It's only us who knows who we are. Actually, sometimes and somehow, we're still surprise of discovering new things in ourselves. I think you better discuss the issue of taking out this policy in your relationship. The more you want to be honest with her or with each other, the more you commit guilty feelings of hiding something. You never know, if she either keep something from you or let say, feel the same as you. It's just like she could not bring out the issue for she even herself shy of bringing the issue. So better open it to her. If you really both value your friendship, you would understand each other. Hope you could find courage and everything will fall into places. Happy mylotting.

I have a best friend who has been my best friend for like over 40 yrs and when it comes to intimate details of our love lives...well we draw the line. Your love life is something not to be shared between anyone but the two of you in my opinion. Unless there is abuse involved then I think it is important to keep your love life special and between you and your partner.

Hi xien, don't worry about not having a no-secret policy. You don't need to tell everything single thing to your bestfriend. We are all individuals and should have our own private spaces where we alone can step into. Also, a no-secret policy can be pretty dangerous. Yes, you may have known your bestfriend for eight years now but since we are all humans and can make mistakes, your secrets might be revealed, either purposely or accidentally by your friend. I'm not saying that you friend will betray you but we are all humans and are prone to mistakes. Keeping secrets of our own is like having our own private sanctuary where we feel unique, at peace and comforted. So don't worry about not telling everything to your bestfriend. I'm sure she has her own secrets too that she doesn't want to share.

Hi Xien, We are individual. We are unique. We feel differently. Not telling everything to your bestfriend is not bad. You have the right to keep something for yourself. People change. You can't deny that fact. People affected by the environment and people around them. So, don't feel so guilty if you don't want to share to her about the relationship you had. In some point, Teens love to share with their friend about their feelings. Maybe, you have deeper reasons why you are shy opening such topic to her. At the right time, you will gain more confident and braveness to tell her. So don't worry about it. God bless

No offense but a no secret policy is a dangerous thing. It can cause a major issue between you two. And we are all inclined to keep some things to ourselves. Maybe your friend does that too. You don't know. But I think you two should talk about removing or at least changing that policy. You can offer to modify it into an open door policy. You two can approach each other and talk about anything that you want to talk about. No holds barred and no offense meant and/or taken. But you will also maintain that each of you is not required to say everything to each other. You will now give each other the right to withhold information as each of you sees fit. Meaning, you no longer require each other to talk about something if one of you don't feel like it. I think each of you is doing this already. It's just not explicitly agreed upon by you. But if you need to "put it in black and white", so to speak, then by all means talk about it. It's our inherent right to keep something for ourselves. No one should be forced not to.

I don’t think its absolutely necessary to open up to her if you are not comfortable with it. Its one thing to have an open mind and share everything but completely different if you really don’t want to share anything…also, she might not like listening to everything you have to say. I remember a time when my best friend got married and we were like 20/21 yrs old then and when we met again after the marriage, she wanted to share her most intimate experiences with me and I was so embarrassed listening to it.

xien2xien, There's always lines to draw on everything and you are really not in the wrong when you decide to withhold certain subjects from your best friend. I don't really think it is the confidential aspect but the appropriateness to talk about it. I am sure there are subjects the both of you could talk endlessly and extensively, yet there are some subjects that just could not or rather better not brought up. Just be yourself here. There's really nothing wrong.

You have your own choice to keep those really personal to yourself of course. Don't expose all those personal things to her, unless she exposes her wholeself to you even having a relationship with someone of course.

For me it is good best friend of you jeep up the good work.

That is great policy though. It is different from people to people. Even best friend, I would like to keep some secret or personal matter to myself. I am still not willing to share with friends yet. That is my ultimate personal stuff that I won't want to share with anyone though.

If you think that your best friend will not judge you and are sure that she will not go and gossip about you, then i see no problem with that.However i would give it great thought just incase that she is a person that do not like anyone getting between you.

hi,i think it is a simply thing,take it easy,you don't feel guilty,cause in every people's life,there are more or less something shy to talk about,it is normal,so now that she is your bestfriend,she will trust and understand you,won't be sensitive to your policy. in addition i feel you are a good friend who we deserve to have :)

My friend is like that with me. We have known each other since birth....she has dated plenty of guys and always told me all the details. In the last year she has started dating someone new, and since then we barely hang out and when I ask her questions about how it is going, she will hardly answer. She never spares me any details about their relationship and he doesnt like her to hang out with me anymore for some reason. It has really hurt me not knowing what is going on in my friend's life. As the best friend, I think you should definitely tell your friend what is going on! she will probably be happy for you!

hello. You are born unique. You have your own decisions whether to share or not. remember you are not obligated. Friendship grows with trust. It doesn't mean that you have to tell a lie at the same time if you do share information that you yourself is not comfortable you end up at the lost. There are things that is better kept as a secret for yourself at least there will remain a mystery behind you. She/he maybe your best friend today but how about tom or 10, 20 years from now