Can you really forget and forgive?

Oh gosh sounds like my life, really does. What I have learned to do in life is forgive myself for allowing the person(s) to hurt me this way. I somehow learned that I can outwardly say that I forgive but never forget. Really what I have done is just disassociate myself from the particular person. I will never speak a word about the person any longer and have absolutely no feelings one way or the other about the person. This of course has to be a person who has harmed me really harshly. Normally, depending on the level of pain the person causes me, I can learn to forgive but will never truly forget.

I dont think that anyone is able to really forget something with that much value as that seems to be for you.What could be done and in a long period of time is not to forget the situation,but to let go the way it made you feel.If you really want to forgive that person,first you should decide really carefully if he wants in the first place your forgiveness and does he deserves is ot the secon place.beause there surely are unforgiveable things,and so there are people who havent realized how guilty they are for hurting someone so they dont really deserve to be forgiven.If you decide that you want to really forgive that person you should let him know how much he had hurt you,and make him realize you want to start over but it would take a lot of time and effort from both his and yours side.Then comes the sime to build all new memories - as if the time before you understood that lie never existed-nometter if there were many many good memories-let them go.because nometter how good those memories are they will always remind you of that lie.so start to build a whole new relationship whith that person-as if you met the day you decided to forgive him.And slowly you will realize you havent forgotten but you have become a better person because of the willing to give a second chance.And that person, if he really deserved that second chance would become a twice better person just to not dissappoint you.So by taking the risk to forgive someone very guilty you may make a favour to both of you and make your relationship even better-doesnt matter what kind of relationship it is.And something very important - never bring the issue about that lie again-once decided to forgive and try to forget,dont torture neither you nor the other person with bringing it out again.Ofcourse after once talked it over and over-thats the part where you decide whether to make an effort to forgive or not.I hope I was somehow hrlpful because I have gone through that both with friends and with partnor,so I really know how much it hurts.

Hi. cmecu6. Yes, it is possible to forgive and to forget. My mother-in-law has mistreated me for almost seven years. And I had to find it in my heart to forgive her. I still don't forget all of the things that she has done to me though. I remember all of them. I have forgiven her because I don't want to hold a grudge against her at all. If I want God to forgive me, I must forgive others as well. You can do so too. You will just have to be strong and ask God to help you to forgive this person that has hurt you so badly. If you do so, God can make this happen for you. Be Blessed! Take care.

I think it could be possible but it would surely take time. I had quite the same situation you had where I was lied to so many times up to a point where I find myself so depressed and with so low self- esteem after being hurt by the only person you trusted and loved. It was painful. I forgave that person, but I still have a hard time forgetting what he did to me. Sometimes, I still find myself crying and feeling the hurt that once was in my heart but then again, I notice that the pain is getting lesser and lesser over time. It's hard to say that you need to move on, but I guess it's really up to you. I found some comfort with the company of my friends and slowly beginning to forgive the person who hurt me and beginning to forget what he did to me. I hope you find your moment when you can finally say that you have totally forgiven and forgotten.

I like the saying forgive, forget but remember. Its hard to forgive the damage that has been done but eventually forget about it but don't let your guard down the next time. Always, remember was has happened.

First, let me say how sorry I am that something like this happened to you. I believe that in most cases, one can forgive, but not forget. But in a case such as yours, where it is something that was important to you and a lie was involved, I can see where it would be hard to forgive let alone forget. Maybe, as a way to at least come to some sort of resolution in your own mind, you could write this person a letter or email but not send it. It might bring you at least some closure.

I don't think we can ever really forget, unless we get alzheimers or a concussion or something but I think we are able to forgive. The real question is whether we want to or not. I have been betrayed and I still need a lot of time to forgive.. but I think I am starting to. I am realizing that being angry about what has been done to me is not hurting anybody else except for myself. And I am hurt because I had some ego and pride done wrong. I am learning that people do stupid things and they are imperfect. And the small steps I'm making toward forgiveness is actually giving me some ease to relax which is actually better than when i was holding the grudge. But to get here took a loooong time. I think you can take all the time you need to forgive but the ability to do it is there. Best wishes.

When we truly care about someone in our lives, forgiveness can comes painfully but easily too. The feelings in our hesrt can outweigh the bitterness and let forgiveness come. forgetting can be a bit more difficult. Try as we might, the regret or betrayal is still in the back of our minds. all we can do is try to get past it and move on.

As far as the saying goes, it just means that you have to move on. Forgiving means finding a sense of closure in yourself. Admitting that it happened and there's nothing you can do about it helps everytime. If you admit to yourself that and find a way to accept that mishap, you'll find closure to that and eventually forget about that. Or it could be that you'll remember it but it will not have any negative impact to you at all.

Everything is depend on how we think about the subject. We can use the term forgive and forget related to the subject matter. In my opinion, both will work out only verbally, but not from our mind, but 'time' can make certain changes on both the terms in the later stage. Once we fell certain issues has higher relevance and importance, but as and when time moves on, we feel it light or less important. However, depend on the intensity of the subject matter, it varies. If there is some incident or event that is so touching our life, may not be able to forget, even if we say we do it. Because, the incident which might have happened long back also may come revised in our minds at intervals and it would haunt us most of the times and forget about the matter is getting less chances. Also, while talking about forgive, also may have the same value. All relates to the topic and time has its own place here also. An incident which happened at the age of 20 and when we reach at the age of 50 we may have different opinion about the matter. So, think in such a way that and if you lied 20 years back and had complications, I don't think you ever got peace of mind, if really hurts you. Thank-s

wow, that's a long time to survive the painful feeling. Why you not try to open your heart and forgive him, try it will make you glad. Do not be selfish because it will not solve your problem.

For me, it depends on how the person has hurt me. If I was hurt but not too greatly, I can forgive and forget. Well, not forget as in I'll forget that person haas ever hurt me, but as in even though I know he/she has hurt me before, I wouldn't be angry anymore. But of course, that person need to apologize first. On the other matter, if I was too deeply hurt by it, I might not be able to forgive at all.

To do both is really hard. It's to say you forgive you put in balance the fact and you can set your mind to choose to forgive but you can't control feeling and this feelings only time will make them go away.

Hey... I just read your response about what happened with u. I mean....I think that when you love yourself first and you know that what made `she` lie was just for your own good..u may have to forget that.. look at her how a great mother who helped u your whole life and soon u r gonna lofrgive her (without notice that)Love your mother how much u can. because when she pass away..then u r gonna realize how good is to have our mommy around. even she had done something that were not really good or we thing were not good for us! love yourself and make the difference to your own kids!!!!

I can forgive... but I can never forget!...and why? if we forget we are bound to do the same mistake again! and that would not do.

For me forget is to forgive.

i think everytime i knew i was being lied by someone i cared so much in my life, when she asked for forgiveness i can easily forgive her but i really can't forget what she did that everytime she make new mistakes in her life, all her sins flashes back to me...

Remember that : forgive someone it's mean you forgive for yourself :-) forget to feel comfortable . It was pass , but you still remember and hurt alone , this thing can not change the pass ! Let make you untroubled . Let try ! You will feel comfortable when you throw a pain , it's so heavy with your soul . I will forgive , to happy :-D Wish you happy :-)

it's hard to forget and forgive... especially when your the kind of person, who should be treated well. In my case, i had been lied many times and cheated by my boyfriend. But because i love him i forgave him ,always.. but there's always a scar in my heart that couldn't be erase anymore... i could not do those two things ... i can only forgive but not forget... its really hard... and reality strikes, everything that happens in your life becomes a memory ..so how could you forget? especially if it hurts you the most... :(

well u were already hurt by the person. forget the person hahahaha and then forget the lies. don't let that person hurt you furthermore by remembering what he has done. in short, don't punish yourself just forget the person and the lies, it doesn't mean you have forgiven. but if you want to set yourself free... forgive (that is very humane) and forget at the same time... forget the person and the lies altogether.