I present my first exhibit

I find this very interesting and very common. Mothers seem to stay attached to their sons even when they are grown and almost have a jealousy towards their wife. But also the paranoia thing, it is genetic a lot of times too. I am so waiting on exhibit #2 :)

That's why the married couple should always have their own home - a house with IN-laws staying in can many times create OUTlaws resulting in either party moving OUT

Wanting things to remain Exactly where you put them , makes you insane? Then I'm insane! it would be different if you tell me, you moved it and where it is. but to just move it and make me look and look would make me feel you don't like me.

insanity... paranoia... insanity... paranoia... tough call, maybe both?

Well Dawny, if it was something like this, i would have thrown it out, what to say move it to another shelve.

I keep my iron by the ironing board. Now, if you'd moved it, I probably would have wondered for months what the h#ll did I do with it. After I found out you'd moved it, I would be "mad" because you didn't tell me and I would be glad because I would then know I wasn't losing my mind, but I wouldn't think you don't like me. :D

All she had to do was ask where it was moved too

oh wow, there is something going on it that family! (and yes, insanity and paranoia do run in families)

I don't think you even have to present exhibit two. I think that this soon to be ex it may not be genetic but have the recessive genes of a cad. This guy doesn't have a prayer. Growing up with such a woman for a mother certainly explains it all to me. I can't find a nice thing to say about him and I really have tried.

I'm going to play the accuser here. Now Dawn wasn't that just a little bit mean, you know your Mother in law used that iron to press R's pants and by not telling here where it was you did in fact hide it from her. Fess up.

How annoying that he came to tell you that.

I tried very hard, even in the face of glaring evidence that my ex daughters in law (three sons) were disloyal to my sons, to support them as women and the mothers of my grandkids. I listened to them when they complained and at times even agreed with them that my sons were male chauvinistic pigs. When all came to light I realized I had been duped by these women and my natural inclination was to do serious bodily harm to them for destroying my sons. You see, I didn't want to be viewed as the evil mother in law who thought her son could do no wrong. While I still feel my sons could have behaved better, I am ashamed that I did not see that these women were very selfish too. So, it is complicated. A mother wants to believe the best of her children. Even when she can see where they are wrong, she wants to be loyal to them and their feelings. I over compensated. I did not want to be what you are seeing in your mother in law. And in doing so, I thought I could be a positive force and help keep things together (for the sake of my grandchildren). My point? No matter what the extended family does or doesn't do, if a marriage is going to fail, it will fail. It takes only two people to save or to not save that relationship. Is your mother in law paranoid? That is something I do not know nor can know. She is only behaving as mothers sometimes do, I think. But then, I am no expert in that field. I'm still trying to figure out how to do the job correctly.

This is surprising. As far as Indians are concerned, we think American women look after their kids but husbands do their chores and help their wives. So you all are also ironing men's pants.

Haha! Love it Dawn. What a strange family R comes from, the loon. LOL! I've yet to incorporate the Dragon (MIL) into one of my Goblin discussions. I'm slowly building my way up to it.

lol, That is how my family is.. if you say "No" They assume you are mad at them or hate them.. When I am mad at them and hate them for not allowing me my right to say "No" and not watch their kids, not answer their phones, not help with their computers, walk their dogs, dog sit, house sit, dig up information on people online they are mad at etc.. lol .. Some people just can not accept.. that not everyone wants to do always do things for them all the time.. What makes me mad in my situation is none of them want to do things for me, until I have steam shooting out of my ears, eyes turn red, tongue is lashing them, and foaming at the mouth... Maybe my being upset is just entertaining for them... who knows :) .. (of course I do not really look like all that ;) )

Sounds like my MIL. Insane or paranoid or something.. who knows. When my MIL's cats got fleas, she started coming flea shampoo through her own hair on a daily basis. Though I'm not sure if she actually treated the cats for fleas.. hmm.

Perhaps it is...genetic or learned behaviors have often baffled me.

So because of the fact that you reorganized things in your own home means that you don't like your mother-in-law? Well, that is pretty amazing and it means that I really must hate my husband's grandmother because we moved to within a couple of miles from her home and we've never even told her where we live. We aren't trying to hide from her, but the subject of where exactly our house is has never come up in conversation.

All rise the honorable dawnald presiding. lol Some people are just stuck in their old ways. I see from your comments she was a very nice lady overall. So I say when this is over and done with she will do R's ironing. lol Court is in recess.. Until case 2 resumes..

Initially, when these things start to emerge, a sense of humor helps. If further incidences start occuring and similar paranoid comments start occuring every time, then humor still is great, however, with an an addition of heightened concern. It does take time and observtion to discern what exactly is. What helps is managing to not let it get to you, and of course your other tools, (humor, distractiosn, hobbies, etc) This is intersting subject matter to me and also I would hope that as this progress I may have some helpful input!