How do you feel about gift card showers?

I've been to showers like that asyria51... bridal and baby... where they will enclose a note that says something like "we'd like to give Bob and Sue the new fridge they really need" or "we want to buy Jane a Perego stroller so we're asking everyone to contribute $20 each or whatever amount you wish." I didn't mind doing that because there was a plan to buy a large dollar value item that the couple or person really needed. That seemed sensible. Also, it was always mentioned that if you didn't want to contribute to the group gift, you were welcome to bring a gift of your own. But this idea of just buying gift cards to specific stores seems to be so they can go shopping later on everyone's dime, basically. As you said, the gift opening is generally part of the fun of the shower - watching the person open all the gifts, passing them around, joking and laughing (especially at some of the more risque gifts LOL). What are they going to do with gift cards? There's nothing to open... might as well just have a big fishbowl at the door to toss in your gift card as you arrive, the way they do at restaurants where they collect people's business cards

I completely agree with this. Gift cards are really no different than asking for cash - but, for some people, it seems more socially acceptable to ask for a gift card. Like you, I shop really carefully for wedding and shower gifts. I try to get a nice item on sale and I do the best I can to be generous. Plus, if you take the time and do a nice job with the wrapping and all, it can really look like you spent a lot more than you did. Let's face it... times are tough and gift-giving is really rough for a lot of people. I would find giving a gift card embarrassing and I'd probably end up spending more than I really could just to give a card of a value that won't make me look cheap :( Plus, this invite is for my daughter and she doesn't have a job... she is a full-time university student so the only money she has is what she makes during her summer job and she stretches it during the school year until she works again the following summer.

That is really unfair to her. Couples should take things like this into consideration.

Yup, they're not thinking about their friends that don't work. They are all pretty young still in this group. The couple getting married, they both work but they live with the girl's parents. So their expenses are minimal and they haven't learned much about budgeting yet beyond paying for their iphones and their clothing. Most of the rest of their stuff, her parents pay.

ROFL! You could do that "box inside a box, inside a box" kind of wrapping, right? I've never done that to someone but I've had it done to me and it was pretty funny!

First time I've heard of someone WANTING socks for Christmas! But, if you're going to get them, that's a pretty fun way to do it! I've done things like wrapping the shipping bubble wrap or those little "air bags" around a DVD or video game first, before the giftwrap, so my kids won't know right away what the gift is -- some things are just too easy to figure out. I've always like them to be surprised, as much as possible.

I used to do it at least once Every Christmas! It works so well when my nephew wanted socks. I wraped each pair and then put them in a box the size of a large laptop!

That is the issue for my daughter, cher913. As I mentioned earlier on, she is a university student who only works in the summer, between semesters, and she budgets that money to last her a whole year until the next summer job. She already purchased a nice engagement gift and she'll have to get a wedding gift for them too. She told me today that she has decided not to attend the shower. She'll call the aunt that is hosting it and politely decline. It's just too much for her to afford :(

See, I do recognize, of course, that there is a positive side for people when you ask for specific gifts. I agree that gift cards are easy -- and in this case, you even know which stores to pick from LOL Really takes all the guess work out of it! Also, you know it's what the couple clearly wants. My bigger problem is really that it drives me round the bend to see it all written on the invitation... it comes across as just a gift grab, rather than any kind of celebration, and you get the immediate feeling that if you can't or don't want to give what is stated, then you're not welcome to go. That's the part that doesn't feel right

That's true too... who the party is for and who is being invited factors into how it's perceived. My daughter is feeling somewhat like you described... she doesn't have much in her budget to buy gifts and, after already giving them an engagement gift and knowing she will have to buy clothes for the wedding, she's not feeling inclined to buy a gift card of any decent value. At this point, she seems to be leaning towards not going at all.

I see your point...It is a bit more impersonal that way. I think it might depend on who was having the party...close friend, coworker, family, etc. I wouldn't like it if it were presented as a gift grabbing thing and if I was broke at the time, I would feel super bad. There are certain occasions that I would like to choose my gifts and would feel terrible if I felt as though I couldn't attend because of my gift value.

Well that's very true indeed... they've made it obvious what their preferences are and it's more of a statement than a hint

At least they know what they want, you gotta respect that.

I agree! In that kind of rain, I'd be turning my umbrella upside down for sure! Very true that it's much like a wedding registry. My issues with it are really that everything is written right on the invitation (so you know that you're not going to be well-received at the shower if you don't bring what they ask) and, as others have said, when you give a gift card, it is known exactly how much you've spent. As you said, cash is commonly given and that's perfectly ok for people that are comfortable with whatever amount they are giving. For those that don't have much to spare, it can be really embarrassing for people to know what you spent. Some, I imagine, could arrive with a $10 gift card and be fine with it because that's what they were able to give... but I know with certainty that I would spend more on a gift card than a wrapped gift so no one thinks I'm stingy But as far as convenience? It does make it really easy!

I think any time someone lists the gift expectations on the invitation, it's tacky. Invitations are supposed to be for a person's presence at the party or event... they aren't supposed to be a gift grab :( You're right, by the way, Galena... this couple already had an engagement party (where my daughter gave a gift) and she will be expected to give a wedding gift too, of course. Now she has to give this gift card and, as I was mentioning in the comment above, she doesn't even have a job yet. She's still studying full-time. Oh, and they also just decided they want to have a "formal" wedding... so they are planning to tell people how to dress too. I think it's all too much.

That's precisely it, gatorgurlm21... with a gift card, like cash, the recipients know exactly how much you are giving. When you purchase a gift and wrap it up, you are giving something you like, something that you are comfortable with the price and something you chose specifically for the couple. You can feel good about giving the gift but not necessarily struggle so hard to afford it. I also don't like the dynamic that is set up between people when you give gift cards/cash... like "well she gave $50 so that means now we have to give at least $50 or more." It's uncomfortable :\ To answer your last question, I guess if they don't want to give the required gift card, they just don't go to the shower.

I was thinking about that too, hardworkinggurl. I wonder what the family will do when someone arrives with a gift that is not a gift card - because I'm willing to bet that some people will. Are they going to tell them "you can't give them that gift?" I really doubt it.

The one thing I do like gift cards for, tessa9, is when I have to send a gift to someone far away. I find them convenient to send and I much prefer them to cash. Other than that, my daughters get gift cards for the local coffee shop tucked in their Christmas stocking or something along those lines but, like you, I prefer wrapped gifts. I enjoy giving what I believe the recipient will like and might not go out and buy for themselves. As far as showers... I am ok with a "theme shower"... like, tell me the overall concept of the shower and I will buy a gift that works with that theme... but I don't like being told what I "must" buy in order to be part of the day.