You can never go back to before

I think we all had regret in our life and hope we can change there past. There always IF I do differently in the past its will not like this. Well honestly your problem I thinks bigger than mine because I have not get in marriage circle and had kids. I think you are a strong person and its OK to feel mellow sometimes.

Sweetie - that is not possible.. and it is best left the way it is. We dont live for five hundred years to forget a few slights and return again. Each year of our life, we have some differences. We feel strongly about them. Then something bigger crops up. All our childhood animosity is forgotten and it seems silly in comparison. But the real slights remain. They get etched there because they are big enough. Only a very very forgiving soul can try I suppose. I ain't that good.

Hullo dawn! I have no such experience because in our conservative "arranged marriage system", the "romantic"romance[if you see what I mean, does not really happen.Even within such a marriage, after this so called "romance" has been allowed to nurture and grow, there would be some terrible moments of bitter conflict but if children are there the partners would put up with nonsense and stay together. CHildren become their focus in life and they just condition themselves not to look for romance. In many of our households [I am of course middle aged], this happens.In such conditions too, there would be good times of initial moony period but this is something which one never looks for as a person grows old.We just go forward with our own individual activities . But the dependability and steadfastness in vows would always be there. I wish you all the best to find happiness in life. How is that great girl doing?[the one who remarked conspiratorially "the plan did not work"?

I was seeing a man that I was head of heels for a year when he suddenly stopped calling. It took six weeks to get him back....and we were together for another 5 1/2 years. The next major fight, I called him to let him know I had done nothing wrong and that I expected an apology (which I did eventually get). Last fall though, I had had enough of the sneakiness and evasions and decided enough was enough. I wanted to confront him when he was at his most vulnerable and break off this emotionally draining relationship, but to his face, but he must have sensed it. I was thinking breaking up via phone, text, email or running away is childish and immature--he just stopped calling. I was initially upset for a week or two but I refused to chase him down.

I almost married again. He and I are still friends even though we didn't marry and recently he was hospitalized. I went to see him, we talked. Then he called me the other day to ask if I'd help him at the healthfood store buying some supplements. You see, he's made the decision to quit drinking, smoking and to try to live better. In short, his illness scared him. I got all mushy inside and fantasized about reuniting. Then I had this thought, if I wasn't motivation enough to change, could I trust him to change completely just cause he's scared? To stay sober, stay motivated in this new life he's got planned. I don't believe in going back. Unless it WAS a mistake to leave in the first place. In my case it wasn't. We will remain friends, I will still love him, that's ok. But marry him, no way.

I don't think anyone can ever go back to before. Even if they're trying to rekindle a love, romance, etc., it's not really going back, it's starting something "new" with someone with whom you have a history, and now, you're older. I've often cried when I've heard a particular song that reminds me of old "loves", my sister, my dad... I don't think it's bad; it's just something I needed to do at the time. I hope you have a great day...

I 'go back to before' each time I hear a song that my mom used to sing to me when she put me to bed. It had meaningful lyrics (which I never understood as a child) but it always bought tears to my eyes each time I heard it.

that is a really sad sound.. but does not have the same emotional reaction on my end.. This song used to bring about the same emotions in myself when I was first learning it in choir was very hard for me to sing lol.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u9QNYjYvYQ

would never go back to any romance as it was awful. and going home you cant really do that either a things have changed since you lived there and it really isnt home any more as you have one of your own somewheres else

I'm kinda going threw that rekindling a romance thing. I am hoping for the best and so far so good. Odd timing though and my divorce isn't final yet.but sometimes life throws us things we never expected at times we never did. Sometimes I think we can go back but it's not for everyone.

Things change, people change, feelings change. That's life. There've been tons of tough times for me and hubby. The toughest was the time around the twins being born.. shortly before and for a couple years after. It was super stressful on us both. We were barely even into our relationship yet, and had just moved out on our own (together) and weren't even comfortable with supporting ourselves and my son who was about 5 at the time, then suddenly we have 2 more on the way? Our lives were totally flipped upside down. For him he'd gone from being a single, care free guy to raising a family with 3 kids in less then 2 years. I had been a hard working single mom (with no expenses as I lived at home till I moved in with him) and suddenly I'm forced to stay home because none of my minimum wage jobs can cover the child care expenses. Add to that typical issues of relationships and both of our childhood dysfunctionalities thrown into the mix (I was raised by single women, his parents were on the brink of divorce his whole life but were too old fashioned to get a divorce). I am so surprised we survived those few years! There were so many times I thought "if only I could support myself I'd be out of here". We somehow managed to recover and pull together stronger than before, granted there've been other bumps in the road. We've never gone "back to before" because before was total bliss.. but we had money (because we weren't supporting ourselves and had only 1 child) and freedom and no stress and 2 jobs and there was the newness and the excitement of the relationship. Now is different from before. Now we have 5 kids and loads of financial responsiblities and loads of stress.. and there's really no bliss in the relationship anymore because it's not really brand new and exciting.. but it's still strong and we both know we support each other and love each other.. We've been through a lot together and if our past trials haven't ripped us apart.. I doubt anything can.

Great song, thanks! I can relate to it completely. After it all ended, I never went back. I had to go back home after but nothing is ever the same, which is a great thing.

I don't think that I would ever be able to rekindle a romance that I thought was over and I know that there are a lot of things that have gone on in my life that I would like to be able to go back to and not have those things happen but it isn't something that is possible. That said, I do think that there are certain things that can be undone or rebuilt, like a friendship that has been broken, but there are many things that can't be repaired.

Years ago, when I was still young and stoooopid, I made a mistake of going back to a relationship that had already ended. I think I never really got the closure that I needed then, so when the opportunity came, and every feeling became familiar, I fell for the 'back to before'. If I had known this song then, I could have been singing it to. I'm a litte shmart now, not so stooopid anymore.

Unfortunately, the thing that made me rekindle a romance was the fact that my husband was dying. It stimulated more listening, more talking and more caring than you can imagine. It makes me cry as well. Sad turn of events, as I do not know if we could have been so loving if the situation had not been so final.

I tried several times with my ex...but when it was over....it was over....I just couldn't fall back in love with him.

you can never go back to before. usually if you try going back to someone the things they done before to get you down are worse then ever next time. then, you can never go back home again as it has changed so much, no matter what it never seems the same. no matter how much we long for all this its life. history does NOT always repeat itself in a good way.

At one stage in my life, I did go back home again after moving out. It was something I needed to do to kill the yearning for my youth, but at the same time, I didn't enjoy it as it wasn't the same experiences as my youth. So I was able to get that yearning out of my system.

I think the tried again and did not succeed is my going back that is relevant to your discussion. I am still going back sometimes to continue my quest of succeeding in life. As for hometown, still here and as for love, never once done it is done for me. lol But yes many times I have felt about going back to certain areas in my life and unfortunately for me I cannot turn back the clock. (*sad*)