Why?why?why we say YES when we want to say NO?

Oh I know what you mean, I do the same thing, I think we are what is known as people pleasers, I often get myself into things that I would rather not because I say yes than no...

Oh, Kwylima, you are just like me! Me neither, I can't say no even if I want to. I suppose we just can't disappoint the others with a no. Sometimes I am sorry that I hadn't said no, but it's usually too late. I think we should think more about ourself and less about others feelings. It is easy to say as a theory, but it is so difficult to practice!

I used to do what you are doing at a young age.Then i realised people were using me.At that stage i made up my mind that i'll assert myself.After i started telling people assertively that i'm not in a position to go out of my way to comply to their needs it made me unpopular but those who remained with me are true friends who know my nature.

I know what you are saying. The best thing i would tell you to do is to say no the next time someone ask you something. Dont ever say "no you cant", its best to say "no you wont". You see when you use the word cant, it make it seem as if its a seriously reason why you will not go and the person will start to ask so many question and you will feel so bad until you might give up and just say yes. If you use wont it make you feel that you yourself is not in the mood. If she say why, you could just say you dont feel like. When you start to do it you will see that it is not hard. The next time someone ask you something and you want to say no. Dont hesitate to decide, just say no right away calmly. Hesitating will only give you time for your mind to think and will make you feel worst or sorry for the person that ask you for something or ask you to do something. I really hope these tip work. This doesnt work with everyone though and it really depends on your relationship that you have with that person. But when i find it really hard to tell someone no, i usually act very angry, upset and look like I am never in the mood for fun or to talk. This might get the person to think that i am going through a moment and i wont feel anyway when i tell the person no, no matter what he or she ask. That is the best way that i see to get through this type of problem. I just hope that it works for you. Also please remember to rate responses and give your best response to who you think deserve it.

There are many times and many situations where we know the best solution is to say no. i think we say yes just to save the aggravation and conflict that often follows our rejection. All we can do is reprimand ourselves when we say yes instead of no and it backfires.

I believe you are one of them very kind people that go off their way to help people... but before you make any decisions just remember that their is a reward for every thing

hi kwylima because you are a good person and hate to say no'thats why you cannot say no. If you are helping a friend who does not have a car thats very kind bu t time and money are spent in this and it'would be a lot more fair if you asked your friend for a little gas money to divy 'up the expense.Also you have a right to tell her you cannot always take her at the times when she wants to go.She must find another friend who can help her also.Too you could suggest if there is good bus service thats not expensive that she try that at times when you really cannot be there for her. you are her friend not her mom or dad. lol I too have a hard time saying no to people but have learned to say no occasionally when its really necessary.

Yes, I do it too, and then I ask myself "why did you do that?" I think it probably comes from a desire to please people.

Hi. kwylima. I have been in this situation to where I have wanted to tell a friend no and I didn't. Sometimes we will just have to be honest with a person and tell this person no. They can't get mad at you because will tell them no.

I think this happens because we don't wanna offend anyone or bring them down. Just this Saturday I had to say yes to a party I didn't wanna come to because I didn't know any there. Although it turned out to be a great time so no rants whatsoever.

Often because they are our friends and we do not want to get mean to them. But try to say: Yes... but.... That will limit your agreement to whatever people ask of you.

No I never use yes if I want to say no and due to this reason most of the family members tell me surekha you are really innocent and truthful person. I dont want to perform their work then I say sorry I cant do but I never us yes and If I say yes then will do that work in any condition

I believe the primary answer is we don't want to upset anyone. In retrospect, we are only hurting ourselves by say yes and letting the other person have what they want.

I know, I feel yah. It's very hard to say no, especially to those we love. Sometimes, though, we need to stand up for ourselves and say no. Sometimes people expect too much out of somebody and that somebody feels as if they can't live up to the person's desires.