If she was your friend, what would you tell her?

Personally, I think you should tell her the truth, she's not in a relationship, she's in a friendship. She's scared that he will leave her if she tells him that she's not happy with the way things are, then maybe she should leave him and find someone who will make her happy. He's a boyfriend, not a husband and I find it hard to believe that in the past four years he hasn't been intimate with anyone. Based on what you're saying, unless he has some physical or psychological problem, this relationship was over a long time ago and the two parties just don't know how to get out of it. If you are close with this friend, give her the hard truth and remind her that no matter what she decides, you want her to be happy and you'll be there. But, she needs to get away from this relationship. It's not healthy.

This is a difficult situation to be in. It can certainly be tricky. I might try to tell her, in the best possible and nicest way possible, while perhaps using some discretion if needed. But sometimes you just don't want to have to tell a friend. Either way, whether you tell her or not, it is difficult to do. But I might tell her, as advice, and tell her in the best possible way.

If they haven't been intimate in over 4 years then it sounds like it is all over but the leaving. Still, maybe there is another reason for the lack of intimacy and maybe they should talk about it. She doesn't sound willing to leave him so really she has narrowed her own choices. Sounds like she is just venting to you but has no real desire to do anything that might make her happier in her life.

There must be a reason in the relationship for the lack of intimacy. If your friend did have an intimate relationship before the 4 years, there must be something happening in the relationship to deter the intimacy. I would tell your friend to find out just where she stands in in her relationship. if her partner no longer wants an intimate relationship with her, i would definitely tell your friend to move on and look for someone new who is worthy of her attention.

Four years are a lot and as a boy I think her boyfriend is cheating her. What was their relationship about after all? They speak on the phone and they never seen each other? I find it difficult to give her an advice because I don't know all the details of their relationship or what ever is or were between those two. But I will try to say this: tell her to start looking for a person who wants everything from her, not only a few things, all of them. And getting intimate is one of a lot things that need to be done in a relationship.

that she needs to talk to the boyfriend otherwise nothing is going to change.

four years without intimacy is quite difficult to imagine. and they are still together. do they live far apart that they only get together rarely? well, if i were in your place, i would tell my friend if she has done anything that would encourage some moves from the guy. for example, inviting the guy in a place where they would be alone. traveling together in a romantic place would be another option. if these do not work, then probably she can start to reconsider her relationship.

Not trying to say that the physical part of a relationship is the only thing that matters but it really is what distinguishes two people who are just friends from two people who are romantically involved. I mean, lots of men "love" their female friends and lots of women "love" their male friends but what pushes their relationships into the next level is the kissing or "petting" that "just friends" don't do. I guess it really depends on what your friend means when she says "intimate."

Advising people when having relationship issues is a bit tough for me because I generally do not advice people to leave their mate even though I would like them to. I prefer people to make their own decisions so that when they do they are satisfied they have done the right decision as opposed to being influenced. In this situation you speak of, since she is telling you about it; if it were me I would outright tell my friend that nothing I or anyone says to her will change her situation. So I would tell her somehow someway she has to find a way to discuss this with her boyfriend because the issue will not go away. She needs to find a calm way to sit and discuss with her boyfriend she would like to discuss her issue, and I say her issue, anytime a person approaches their partner with the you this, you that the partner is going to be defensive and since the boyfriend is not conveying he has an issue he will not immediately accept he does. So she needs to discuss with him her feelings and ask why the indifference, depending on his reponses she will have to decide. Worse case scenario is that perhaps he will not change and or tell her why, then she needs to decide if she still wants to remain this way for another four years or not.

I would probably tell her to take initiative sometimes but in a subtle way. Maybe they need to understand each other's needs more than ever since they're growing apart. Openness is the key to a successful relationship and if the guy is still ignoring her needs, then I'll tell her to be open with him whether or not he's going to get angry at her. But that's just my opinion. It's really hard to get in between someone else's love life. I don't want to be blamed when things get rough. It's better for them to settle it on their own, just tell her you'll always be there for her when she needs someone to talk to.

I would've told her to find someone else too because a friend is suppose to help their friends even when help isn't being asked. I would tell her to find someone that can make you happy all the way, Of course we would've gotten into a fight but eventually she would've saw I was right.

Well, if I were you. I would ask my friend to confront (or at least have a serious talk with her boyfriend). Not in a "giving an ultimatum" way though. Because I would never believe a guy can "not be intimate" with his girlfriend for that long. The sad conclusion (for me) is that he might not be interested anymore or that he has someone else out there. Of course, I don't want my friend to be sad. But I think if things really go from bad to worse. It's better she knows sooner than later. That is what I think.

Ow! It sounds sad..how they still together after all this?! well, maybe is better just listen to her when she comes to talk about that. I my case I dont like to be part of any issues of this kind. But I think your friend may need somebody to talk so you like a good friend listen to her..Any when she ask you your opinion try no to be part of this.. well, i love my friends and never want to hear nothing like that form them! good luck

I would suggest her to be steady. If she loves him truely she must win. If their love is true it will make joy. But if it fails I musat say there ws a lacuna in it. So let her leave and think freshly for future.

Keep it longer is not good . Your friend and her boyfriend will break up ! You should talk to her that : let choose , this time to help this relationship or never ? Talking with him about what does she worry about and find out the way to help this relationship together ! Don't forget advise her that if she has to leave him , anyway please don't sad and regret because she talked with him about this problem because still have many good people in the life always ready for her . If she dont talk , the pain will longer , but if she talk , one is he will awaken and make it better with her , one is she will has a another good people ! Anyway she will better ! You are the people who can help her , let try !