Would you desire an obedient spouse/partner?

Another googly from Deepak… I wonder if I should recommend you to the Indian cricket selectors now LOL Now… obedient partner???!!! Well to me, one of the basic principals of a marriage should be equality… our Indian tradition may well pride itself on creating the image of the ever obedient wife as the ideal wife, but the very term for ‘wife’ is ardhangini, meaning ‘the other half’…now, since human civilization is globally patriarchal, naturally we don’t think of the husband as equal or otherwise (naturally, he is superior) but the very definition ‘the other half’ means that both partners are by default, equal…so again, no question of obedience here. Civil marriage is a union between consenting adults… here again, it is expected that both are capable and matured enough to take cognitive decisions for the betterment of their married life… naturally, there should be no question of obedience. Men and women are individuals with their own specific roles and goals in life… it can never be that one of them is an absolute expert in the other’s domain… a healthy marriage should therefore give enough space, dignity and recognition to both to express their views in their own field of expertise… this should not be interpreted as obedience but rather as a cooperation between the spouses for ultimate success and happiness in married life. PS: By now must've understood that I would never desire an ‘obedient’ husband… something that we call ‘joru ka ghulam’ in Hindi and hen-pecked in English. Of course, this takes us to a completely different discussion as to whether hen-pecked husbands are actually weaklings or too much in love with their wives

Nah, I would not want too obedient spouse/ partner that would make life so boring in the end as if he does not have his own opinion, worst I would suspect that he is biding his time to rebel. Not that I want a too strong opinionated spouse/ partner either. I just want someone that can be a good life sparring partner to live with.

Obedient? One who is independant and wise. Easy to talk to and respectful of my feelings. Obedience is for the dogs or some animal you feed and take care of expect to do as you want it to. A wife or husband are individuals with thoughts and feelings all their own. They have no reason to odedient. That is horrible!

Hi deepak, no see for a long time. Well, coming to your topic I must put up that I want an understanding, sympathetic, patient, lovable spouse, not exactly an obedient one who would run when I say run. Before my marriage I had several offers coming from different corners and on inquiry I knew some of them were beautiful but not post graduate, some were post graduate but the bearing was not acceptable. And some were around ten years junior to me. Finally I met a girl who matched all the things I was looking for. Now we have been married for ten years and with a son having a peaceful life. To conclude I would say that not obedient one should see if the would be spouse would be compatible to your ways of thought and action. Nice discussion.

hello dpk, That depends on what to obey. I don't hold my partner like a slave that he has to obey everything that i say. In every relationship,there are things that husband/wife must obey mutually. But it doesn't mean,that every word from your spouse should/must be obeyed. I am not demanding my partner to obey everything that i say. Being obedient doesn't mean to act like a robot or programmed to do everything that a master asks you to do,and obey. Have a great day

Hello, Since you said, "She was of the view that she does not want very obedient partner." The answer is hidden in your discussion. Male -- by nature has dominating attitude due to masculine hormones, so they want obedient partner. Female -- by nature are emotional due to feminine hormones, so they want a bit dominating (quality of masculine gender) partner. So, when we are talking about males, they always wish for an obedient and submissive partner. Because they would love to have a soft, emotional, and delicate partner in the form of female. I think every male will ask for these qualities in his partner; otherwise, there will be no difference between him and her. Female on the other hand love to be ordered by their partner or lover. They want someone who can show his command over her. Someone who has authority on her. They like to be ordered. (This is correct for every female, but yes in limits). Therefore both genders have opposite choices. Since this is the basic nature of their gender due to the inherited hormonal composition of their body. If both by nature are submissive or dominating then there will be no match between them. They both will be identical in their attitude and household will become a war-place then.

lol..you know my answer to this one. We have already discussed this. I wouldn't want an obedient husband. Just as I would not like to bossed, I wouldn't want to boss over my husband either. In a relationship, I believe that the couple are partners. And by that I do not mean that responsibilities should be equally divided. But the views and opinions should be given equal importance....and it is not of importance who gets the upper hand. Mutual respect is important. Obedience is not important....but the thinking should be put across properly. I know for sure that I wouldn't be happy if I had an 'obedient' spouse who blindly followed all my rules. I know I wouldn't be able to say anything because I wouldn't be able to put it across properly. But my spouse would lose the respect I have for him...in that case.

Hi Deepak I do not want an obedient partner but I do not want a “tyrannical “ partner. I asked my husband if he would like an obedient partner for which he replied he did not want an “obedient “partner but he neither wanted a “disobedient” partner. He wanted only a person who “lives and let lives”[ I can of course puff up and say “collars up”to myself.] To let you into a secret , I was called an "obedient" woman by acquaintances and friends who knew me.

I don't no what your meaning of obedient. Are you meaning submissive? No thoughts of their own? I think it's wonderful to see a couple that are independent but work together in all aspects of eachothers lives.

hi dpk! of course I would want an obedient partner but not to the point of him acting like my slave. lol! I think it would be good if both of us will be obedient with each other at the right time and situations. I think that way, conflicts will not rise coz we are able to satisfy each others want.

Hi sweetie. What is obedience actually? You get that from a pet. No person need to be obedient in a relationship. Just be yourself and everything will be just fine.

Nah, I would not want too obedient spouse/ partner that would make life so boring in the end as if he does not have his own opinion, worst I would suspect that he is biding his time to rebel. Not that I want a too strong opinionated spouse/ partner either. I just want someone that can be a good life sparring partner to live with.

Well of course i would like an obedient husband. But not that obedient , wherein he doesn't even contest what you are suggesting or saying. It will not be a sound relationship, if the husband is so obedient of the wife and vice versa. It would be better that each of their ideas should be discussed before the implementation of something . That way, the best if being brought out from the both of you.

Hello :) i think that when your partner does everything you want and always agrees with you is interesting only at the beginning. then you just become bored of that. because you see that he/she just loses himself/herself in you and always waits for you to say what to do and what to think. so i do not think that the obedient partner could make anyone happy

My husband and I do not believe that one spouse should obey another. There is no room for obedience in equal relationships. People need to work together as a team, with no one leading, and no one following. For too long women have been expected to be obedient to men, and in some countries, this is still an expectation. The world needs to change, and people need to be treated as equals, no longer being oppressed by ideas of domination, submission, and obedience.

The only way I would be obedient is if I were to marry . But with this my poor husband would never get close to me. I wouldn't let him. It would be warfare. And I wouldn't respect him. but then again I wouldn't respect a obedient husband either. I would mistrust each " yes dear" he would say. I would assume he is planning something. In short I wouldn't trust any husband of mine. But If I'm a girlfriend, I get to be myself fully. And I don't instantly obey Any rule. It has to be explained.But talking anything out isn't a problem when you love And respect each other. And since I'm free to be myself , I Want my guy to be himself. I'm lucky , with my guy we agree on almost everything! Neither " obey" we just agree to do whatever.

I think having a obedient partner will be boring. I think its better with someone who I can share what in my mind even we end up in fight and its better than just silent. I think relationship is to make both happy and not just one. So I there is one person who force to obey the others its really suck and unhealthy relationship.

I surely would like. My selfish part loves that, but it's not fair. I had other boyfriends but now I have this one that doesn't listen to me 100% and you know what? It's good, he is the one that really made me grow up. To our selfish part an obedient is great, to learn things in the school of life? Nope. We have to have differences and someone that also put us back where we belong.

You have used the word partner and that is really important. A relationship is a partnership not a dictatorship. Although some rules should be followed of course, like fidelity and honesty, I don't think anyone should be expected to follow directions like a puppy. And it's not really being obedient if your partner is considerate enough to request rather than demand.

Obedient determines a hierarchical relationship between persons. In such a situation there is no mutual obedience. On the other hand marriage should be based on man woman relationship based on love and trust and cannot be hierarchical. For where there is love, obedience becomes mutual. We live in a world where values are determined by patriarchal system. So an absolute obedience of wife is expected. Where there is love, mutual respect and mutual obedience will unfold.