very shocking news

@indahfth (11161)

Indonesia

March 15, 2011 8:07pm CST

Yesterday, I got a very shocking news, from my younger brother. My younger brother had made ??a girl pregnant, and the girl was aged 16 years. I became very angry, and surprised. But I realized, my anger can not change the situation. I have to deal with this problem. I then, talk about this issue, to my parents, my parents, also have the same reaction with me. I try to make them calmly, and eventually they get quiet, because still shocked, my parents said they wanted me to stone, taking care of this problem. I ask permission to my husband, to help my parents, I am very happy, my husband gave permission. In two weeks, I will be very busy. Because there are many, who should I care. In my country, there are rules that we must obey. To marry underage girls, there are several processes that we must lived. I really hope, this process can run smoothly.

4 people like this

29 responses

• Philippines

16 Mar 11

well then its good for you that your husband permitted you... Hopefully things will turn out good for you as you process your brothers wedding, and hope everything will be okey for your family then.

1 person likes this

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

16 Mar 11

Thank you. Yes, I am very happy, because it has been given permission by my husband. At first I thought my husband would not give permission. And hopefully, my husband's sincerity, gave permission to me.

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

16 Mar 11

Yes. I really hope, my husband also gave support to me, so I feel lighter face all this.

• Philippines

16 Mar 11

yes i am happy for you about that... Hopefully also your husband will support you while you are busy tending your family's need...Goodluck to you.

1 person likes this

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@se7enthbird (8307)

• Philippines

16 Mar 11

is your brother 16 years old too? if they are both that young then this will be more than a big load for you. your obligation for them is bigger than you think. i wish your parents help you with this... for this is not really just your obligation but it is your parents obligation as well. i know that there are a lot of teens who gets into a mess like this but 16 is still a baby. hope you guide this couple and hope this will be a good turn for them. having a baby is not easy but with your support and love that the whole family will give,.. they can manage to do what is right and what is best. goodluck

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@se7enthbird (8307)

• Philippines

16 Mar 11

it is good to know that your brother is matured enough to handle the situation. i hope she loves her gf more and takes care of her specially now that the girl is pregnant. 16 years old is very young so i hope your brother pray for patience. i will pray too that nobody regrets this. have a great day.

1 person likes this

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

16 Mar 11

Thank you, I also always wished the best for them. Hopefully they are able to undergo their household and are ready to face all the problems of life.

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

16 Mar 11

Thank you. My younger brother is 28 years old. My younger brother was old enough, to get married and have kids. We will do our best, to guide my brother, and his wife. Hopefully they can undergo this marriage, by not filled with regret.

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@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

19 Mar 11

hi indahfth I hope all goes will with your family a nd your brother also. Hope he will marry this child and give her kindness.I realize this is a schock especially in india where you are if I am not wrong.I hate seeing teen age girls here in the Us where I am getting pregnant out of wedlock. really even here

we older people dislike this break' down of morals.Its kind of your husband to work with you also.I am a bit puzzled though as why would you have to ask permission to help your own parents from your husband as you sound like a mature adult.I guess this is where our cultures differ and I must respect your culture. I do wish you and your parents and your brother and his love the very best.I too hope this process can run smoothly.its lovely that you really care and wish to help your parents. what a kind person.

1 person likes this

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

20 Mar 11

In Indonesia, things like this are also highly disputed. I hope, they can be responsible with what they have done,. I have to ask permission to my husband, because according to my religion, everything done by the wife, must on permission husband. So I have to ask permission to my husband. I also have hope, so that everything can run smoothly. A heavy step was skipped, now just waiting for her wedding day.

@cream97 (29087)

• United States

18 Mar 11

Hi. indahfth. I hope that whatever rules that you must obey, I hope that it won't be so upsetting to you all. How old is your brother anyway? As you get things straightened out, I hope that it will get better for your parents as well. Their is an innocent baby that is caught up in this situation. I hope that whatever the outcome is, it is for the best interest of the parents and the child.

1 person likes this

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

18 Mar 11

My younger brother is 28 years old, only she was still underage. Actually I am very pity. But pity, also can not solve the problem. I hope, they can be responsible with what they've done, hopefully they can be good parents.

@bellis716 (4799)

• United States

16 Mar 11

I do not understand. You wrote that your parents wanted you to stone. Do you mean that they wanted you to throw stones at the girl, as was the custom in the time BC? Your subsequent comments do not indicate that to be the case, but they do not tell me what you did mean, either.

1 person likes this

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

16 Mar 11

My parents wanted me to help to take care of my sister marriage. My parents are still very surprised, and a little sad because of this. So, I was asked by them, to help with all matters of their marriage. Due to go through several processes, considering the bride was still under age.

@bellis716 (4799)

• United States

17 Mar 11

Now I understand. Thank you for explaining. When the marriage is completed, the 16 year old girl will be your sister-in-law. I'm sure you will be a loving aunt to the baby, and a kind sister-in-law to the young mother.

@ifandri82 (144)

• Indonesia

27 Mar 11

Sorry, I have made you and the family was shocked, by what I have done. I apologize to you and all the family. I promise, will keep my marriage, well. I tried not to make you and family disappointed. I will try to improve myself. Regret is useless, which is important for me now, trying the best for myself and my marriage.

1 person likes this

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

28 Mar 11

I really hope, your marriage will go well, and did not make the family was disappointed again. Hopefully, the relationship of two families are also to be good. There is no problem, and all running with full pleasure. You now have a responsibility, you must take it well.

@ifandri82 (144)

• Indonesia

15 Apr 11

My hope is with you. Hopefully all will go well. There are no more happy I am, in addition to a good relationship with all the family.

@aprilsong (1884)

• China

16 Mar 11

First,wish things go smoothly there. It is good that you and your family can take responsibility for that girl. And wish their marriage is happy and wish the baby will be healthy. You know, it is a sad thing to be pregnant for teens, first, they are still not ready to take responsibility for raising a kid. Second, their bodies and spirits may have not yet fully developed. It is too early to have a kid,especially for those who are still studying. But with you and your family's help, i hope all the thing can go well.

1 person likes this

@celticeagle (166718)

• Boise, Idaho

16 Mar 11

I am sorry to hear of your news about your brother. I don't blame you for being angry and surprised. I hope that you and your parents can help him to find the right thing to do. I don't know your laws there but here 16 is under age in most areas. That could cause some problems. Hope you are all able to get it straightened out.

1 person likes this

straightened out

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

16 Mar 11

Yes, I really hope, our family, can help them. In the country we have rules, that a woman is allowed to get married, when he was 19 years, and a man is allowed to marry, when aged 21 years. My younger brother, 28 years old, so it had crossed the line specified. But the girl, not yet reached the age limit. There are several processes that must be done, the first is the need through several session. And I do not know what kind of session. Hopefully, we did not encounter any obstacles.

@paula27661 (15811)

• Australia

16 Mar 11

I agree that anger will not help. These young people need unconditional love and understanding right now because they will be facing a difficult time. It is a shame they have to deal with marriage as well as a baby at the same time but I appreciate that in your culture that is what must happen. I will keep you and your brother in my prayers. Hope all will go well.

1 person likes this

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

17 Mar 11

Thank you, Yes, this is very embarrassing. We must face it all. It would be very embarrassing, if my younger brother, not responsible.

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@momof3kids (1894)

• Singapore

16 Mar 11

I hope the process will run smoothly for you too. For a couple so young, they surely need A LOT of guidance. I dun think you will be busy for two weeks but a whole lot longer like a few years. Nevertheless with your knowledge, I have no doubt that your brother will have a proper guidance leading to a good marriage.

1 person likes this

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

16 Mar 11

Thank you, you are absolutely right, they'll really need guidance, and hopefully their marriage, could be a happy marriage, and always harmonious.

@johnpillai (2082)

• Germany

16 Mar 11

I wish you to solve your problem smoothly. The pregnant girl should be cared perfectly. Both her physical situation and feelings should be respected.

1 person likes this

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

16 Mar 11

Thank you, I really hope that everything will go smoothly. And I have to work hard, give understanding to my sister-in-law, because of his age are still too young.

@jak2010 (1550)

• Papua New Guinea

20 Mar 11

In many countries the age you mentioned is referred to as minor and is punishable for up to 6 years, but in some traditonal cutlures it is alright for the girls as young as 16 to marry. So it depends on where you come from, I guess and I hope the process in your country for such case is followed and run smoothly and to the benefit of the two young couple.

1 person likes this

@surekharathi (14146)

• India

16 Mar 11

ohhhhh no only 16 years girl really its bad why the people cannot take the precaution and how can do this. But ya your husband is good so give you the permission for helping your family. If I was there I was also surprised. But finally tell me her marriage is solemnized or not.

1 person likes this

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

17 Mar 11

Yes. This is really bad. But this is already happening and we must accept it with sincerity. Hopefully after this, will be good.

@youichi6915 (11)

• Philippines

16 Mar 11

We could no longer no anything about it.It already happened.The best you can do is to make sure that the girl willbe well taken cared of.Give as much support as possible.

1 person likes this

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

17 Mar 11

Yes. everything had already happened. There was nothing we could do, besides make my younger brother be responsible. Hopefully, they can live well.

@ifa225 (14461)

• Indonesia

16 Mar 11

Hi Indah, that is a good solution for this problem i guess, being responsible for the girl and married her. but you have to realize that there will be a huge problem after this. she is to young to be a mother. their married may contain many fights

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

16 Mar 11

yes that's what I feared. I hope they become more mature.

@shibham (16977)

• India

16 Mar 11

Hi... Really a hard situation to cope with. Whats the age of your brother? Did you know that he is in love with her? if so, you should make him concern before... anyway, hope you will be able to solve this problem but be calm and take all everything politely. Have a nice day.

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

16 Mar 11

my younger brother aged 28 years. I do not understand, how their relationship. because, we seldom meet.

@TrvlArrngr (4045)

• United States

25 Apr 11

I know that everyone must have been very upset. Good for you for realizing that anger would not solve anything.

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

25 Apr 11

I always try to face problems with a cold heart.

@tigeraunt (6326)

• Philippines

16 Mar 11

hi indahfth, i am shocked by your news. i always was very high regards for muslim ladies because they are very conservative. i never thought there could be something like this happening.

be that as it may, here in the philippines, the parents of the girl can sue the man who impregnated the 16 year old. it can be treated as rape (even with the consent of the 16 year old because she is a minor). but i hope it doesnt get to that.

i wish you tell me about the processes that u mentioned in your discussion. my wishes for both your brother and sister-in-law to be to have a happy and smooth relation til they get old. have a nice day. ann

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

17 Mar 11

Yes. You are right. In my country, it also allows the girl's parents reported to police. Luckily, the girl's parents, are not reported to the police. And the girl's parents, still want to think long. Police report, will only make her worse off. Hopefully, after marriage, they can undergo the household well.

1 person likes this

@shia88 (4571)

• Malaysia

18 Mar 11

It is definitely a shocking news,but glad that you are able to calm down and handling the case well,to help out your parents. So your brother will marry the girl? Although the girl is still under- aged,but your brother is a responsible person, at least,he never run away from the problem. I guess he knew that he has make a wrong step,hope this case will make him be more mature and be a good husband for her future wife. You takecare and hope everything will go on smoothly.

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

18 Mar 11

Yes. My younger brother, will marry the girl. I also hope, they can create a harmonious household, and may be more mature.

@chuyins123 (2112)

• Philippines

16 Mar 11

It's really shocking but still you have to deal with it. The new generation now is quite aggressive really that they don't mind the rules. I admire you for being there for your brother. May God guide and bless you. I hope all would be well soon.

@indahfth (11161)

• Indonesia

16 Mar 11

Thank you. I really hope, they can go through life with a good household.